Getting off the meds

So I was on anti-depressants… I did not know that, till I completely understood the medicines prescribed. Apparently anti-depressants are great for progressive multiple sclerosis…and minimising the attacks. Of course the minute I understood the drugs I was taking I stopped them immediately. Even though this may help MS; I was really worried about addictionContinue reading “Getting off the meds”

Burn the Old

And in keeping with the theme of the year Diwali had me with the flu! The Diwali party I went to had me in tears when a guest innocently asked me about my health. I blamed it on over tiredness and far too much medication with almost no food but it spoke to me ofContinue reading “Burn the Old”

I’m Too Old for This S%^&!

‘Too old for that s^&t!’ I keep exclaiming.(Excuse the expletives Ma!). But I’ve realised that nowadays my propensity for rubbish – notice I didn’t use the bull$%^ word Ma; has reduced greatly. Been there, done that. Listened to the excuses before, the reasons why payments get delayed, the questionable ways of making money under theContinue reading “I’m Too Old for This S%^&!”

Why does it Hurt so bad?

So I’ve realised it takes a village to build you up and make you feel confident but it’s often just the one person that can bring that confidence crashing down! And that’s just sad… What the tens, hundreds or millions say about you can be shattered by one thoughtless comment or one mean remark. It’sContinue reading “Why does it Hurt so bad?”

#FakeNews

‘You look so beautiful.’ ‘ I am soooooo busy. ‘ ‘My marriage is perfect.’ ‘Of course I eat… yes… real food silly!’ ‘ The holiday was amazing!’ ‘My kids are awesome!’ – every lie we ever tell each other now becomes firmly stuck in the forever world of the internet. With filters and instagrammable hashtagsContinue reading “#FakeNews”

Fear, MRIs and 5 ams

The stress of or the fear of something often is far larger than the actual task itself. This was at its clearest this week. With the planning of a surprise party, the visit to a new doctor, yet another (though each one is as stressful as the next) MRI and the travel and return travelContinue reading “Fear, MRIs and 5 ams”

Live the Moment

We all believe we live in the moment but I have to be honest most do not! Unless you go through something life changing, you don’t even recognise how long or how powerful a moment can be. This is true. A moment really counts when my arm hurts so bad tears stream down my faceContinue reading “Live the Moment”

I’m never gonna be who I thought I would

All through our lives we’ve been taught to make a difference, do more, be more! And then it gets to a point- and here may be it’s the impending Birthday Me talking, where you worry- have I actually achieved what I was supposed to have… or was it all just castles in the sky createdContinue reading “I’m never gonna be who I thought I would”

Where Am I now?

So yesterday while watching the deviously delightful ‘Lucifer’ on Netflix I asked the husband the existential question- “do you think God has a plan for all of us…” He answered in the affirmative- more of a grunt, because I had obviously disturbed his ‘serial-watching- while reading football news on twitter’ evening with a far tooContinue reading “Where Am I now?”

i love you. i hate you.

Those petty fights. Who was wrong? Who was right? You took too long on saying I love you. You think I’m fat? You don’t buy me anything. You forgot my birthday/ our date/ to meet me. Who was wrong? Who was right? Those petty fights. You don’t care about me. You don’t listen. You shoutContinue reading “i love you. i hate you.”