Why does it Hurt so bad?

So I’ve realised it takes a village to build you up and make you feel confident but it’s often just the one person that can bring that confidence crashing down! And that’s just sad…

What the tens, hundreds or millions say about you can be shattered by one thoughtless comment or one mean remark. It’s like that little devil inside of us barely needs a drop of water to take on a monstrous form and take us over completely.

And that’s why the trolls succeed so much. I used to visit a client ever so often and despite me being at my best; I’d watch how every compliment would be followed by a quick jibe, a passing thoughtless remark or just something plain mean. I noticed it a few times but I think it really came to a head when my team asked me what was wrong with them? I honestly didn’t know. Every time they made a comment it hurt but I tried to push it aside as much as I could and eventually knew when the comment would come , so played a song in my head to dull their words!

But then the husband came up with an insightful reason (no I wasn’t bribed to compliment him :)) they did this.He said that often people chose to use hurtful words to cover up what was happening in their lives. When they chose to criticise how I looked or that I spoke with an accent- it was often a reflection of them not being happy with what they looked like or how they spoke. And when I started really listening to what they were saying I saw all their deep rooted personal issues- marriage problems, body image issues, blatant racism and insecurities. And now I have realised that perhaps that’s the way to deal with trolls.

Everyone is on a journey. When they lash out, it’s more about what’s happening with them not with you. And when you re-teach yourself to think like that the hurt is less and you too are equally careful about how you speak.

P.s. (Palat says)-: Every person I meet I try and learn something from… even the worst people you meet have something they can teach you. Learn.

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My #TenYearChallenge

The #TenYearChallenge got me thinking- not of how I looked back then… With the correct filters , most people looked better, hotter and (though absolutely unbelievable) even younger in their current pic; but about who I was back then, what I believed in, what I wanted and how who I have become would measure up.

In 2009, I didn’t know I had Multiple Sclerosis or the tumour. I guess I would have found out at some point. But with less pain ,I do believe I was happier… but today I am more grateful. I take life less for granted.

In 2009, I was a dreamer… I dreamt and dreams came true… Today I am more of a do-er and dreams that would have been beyond the realm of my 2009 year old self, are all coming true!

In 2009, I wrote, directed and produced 2611- A Personal War and started on a multi continent showing of a play that would change my life. It was the first time I wrote my heart out and I learnt confidence. In 2019, I write now – all the time, content that makes me proud, has my voice…and I think my 2009 self would be pretty impressed!

In 2009,I wanted. In 2019, I give.

In 2009, I was one. In 2019 I am a team.

In 2009, Cookie taught me love. In 2019 , I now know how to love Magic.

In 2009, I asked. In 2019 I am grateful.

So yes… there have been changes, and I do believe progress… hair colour changes from red to blue, wardrobe improvements but most of all self improvement and that I believe is a win, win, win!

Onwards to the next #TenYearChallenge

Marketing …ME!

Today’s world is a marketing world! The best education, the finest degrees are no match for the smooth, smart talker who knows how to market himself and his business idea! It’s all about suave, smart marketing , networking and great smiles! It’s not even about selling a product or an idea… it’s about selling yourself- believing in yourself so much that others buy into the dream too!

This year is my company’s tenth year running… we started in 2002 october and we’re celebrating our tenth year this year with great aplomb and excitement. 10 new shows, several new actors, a team of Balancing Act Productions’ favourites and loooots of work! And the marketing has begun and I’m actually loving it… When I started marketing 10 years ago…I was selling a show, a concept , an idea …and hoping to God people bought into me…because I was young, unsure and terribly scared. Now 10 years later…I think I’ve got it…I believe in me and my idea and it’s become easier asking people to believe because I BELIEVE! It’s difficult selling yourself when you’re not sure whether you are worth it… but the minute you start BETTING ON YOURSELF…that’s when it’s not such a hard sell… you realise YOU ARE WORTH IT and all you need to do is BE YOURSELF and let someone else see yourself the way you see yourself! Instead of trying to create rose tinted glasses for those you are marketing yourself to, all you need to do is try and make them see the concept or the idea through your eyes!

bet

I’m not saying every meeting will be amazing….but I’m saying a little self respect and a little belief in yourself goes a long way….! It makes the meetings more fun and makes your faith in yourself stronger.

10 years down…I’ve learnt how to believe….in me!

 

Some of Life’s irrefutable truths

  1. You can take a day off from work. Your company will not collapse. The world will not end. If it did, you would be God. You are not God.
  2. You don’t need to wait till you have an incurable disease to make a bucket list.Makeone today. A bucket list is not a pre- celebration of death…it should be a celebration of life.
  3. You are not as ugly as this think you are and the love of your life is not as amazing as you the he/ she is! But guess what if they love you too….in their eyes you are equally that amazing to them!
  4. Today may be the best day of your life or the worst….but in a few hours it will be tomorrow…so know that neither pain nor elation are constant. It’s only our attitude and our fears that define us? Don’t be afraid.
  5. Laugh openly and honestly. Cry unashamedly. It’s your life. Live it with feeling.
  6. You have never traveled too much or learnt too much. Life is a journey….Keep traveling. Keep learning.
  7. Expect to be treated by others the way you treat them.
  8. Don’t treat relationships as ‘Optionals’ else soon you’ll remain the ‘optional’ in everyone else’s life.
  9. Grow up but never stop being a child.
  10. Try and mean ‘how are you?’ the next time you say it…instead of just hoping everyone will just say ‘I’m fine.’