Kill Cruella!

I have always been rather self destructive. My parents remember this well, when I got myself in trouble when they were in the midst of shouting at my sister for something she had done and I would suddenly point out something I had done which was worse.

But cute as that seemed as I grew older, I got even more destructive. The critical little voice in my head was almost a shout and I was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy enough. And so I hurt myself, I had terrible bouts of anxiety and stress. I was depressed at times and was easily swayed into believing that I was lucky to get anything because I obviously didn’t deserve it.

And when I got sick (multiple sclerosis), this became even worse. Now I was living proof of someone who may never be pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of anything- but something switched inside me. I was stuck so long listening to this evil shouting voice, I never took the time to hear the softer, more encouraging voice in my head. And when I did take the time, and since in the hospital ,I did have just time- I started hearing the voice that told me to believe.

It’s the voice that tells you that ‘you can be more, you can do more and that you are better than you think you are.’ It’s the voice that tells you to believe in yourself and that you are ready for the meeting, for the interview and even to take over the world! It’s the voice that tells you that your body- in pain, fit or unfit- is amazing because it’s yours. It’s the voice that tells you every day can be amazing because you are part of it.

And once you listen to this voice , the evil one becomes softer and slowly becomes non existent, if you work hard enough.

Initially and even sometimes now, when I hear Cruella (yup she has a name) popping up with her fears and doubts in me… I loudly proclaim how sure , how positive and how amazing I am so that Miss D (yup she has a name too) gets the strength to go louder than ever!

P.s.(Palat says)-: How successful you are will often be a direct relation to how much you believe in you. Don’t look for the applause from outside. Be proud to be your biggest cheerleader.

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Toxic Relationships

How many times do we know someone that or something is bad for us but we cling on to it persistently because of force of habit?

We know they’re wrong for us/ it makes us sad, unhappy, weak, angry… but we just don’t let it go…

And when we do let go…we mourn- as if we needed it, missed it ,wanted it. We mourn as if it was the best thing that happened to us when usually it was exactly the opposite! We cribbed the entire time and knew we were terribly fed up and disappointed in the situation but yet we don’t want to let it go.

Perhaps we’re suckers for punishment… or maybe we sympathise with those that torture us!

A friend in an impossible relationship was sticking on despite the relationship being totally toxic- he couldn’t let go. He left, it became hard , he went back- the cycle continued. He can’t escape or may be he doesn’t truly even want to. And the drama continues.

But to let go… to truly let go… is freeing. It’s amazing. It makes way for new opportunities, the joy of life and living again and complete freedom!

I used to make a lists of pros and cons and remind myself why moving on made sense but now I’ve found a new easier way- I allow myself to feel the loss- fully feel it, but for the day and after that I disconnect completely. I don’t allow myself to dwell or feel bad or get angry or allow the toxic person to have any emotion of mine because that would be energy I could rather use for something much more positive and I’d rather find people that would want that energy of mine and would be able to reciprocate!

This way I allow myself and the relationship the respect of fully feeling it; but also allow myself the respect of not sticking with something that drains me continuously. Just like they say, you can’t flog a dead horse, there’s absolutely no point mourning a toxic friendship/relationship.

Always remember you deserve happiness.

P.s. (Palat says)-: There are 7.7 billion people on this planet.You are going to find a few awful ones… but there are many many billion people left to meet!

Fear ≠ Change

Fear-: to be afraid or to be apprehensive

When we are little we fear almost nothing. We find fire funny. We play with strays. We roll in the mud. We twist our parents ( big and fearful to others) around our little , tiny fingers and we don’t know defeat. We ask like we deserve something and we expect good things to happen to us- cos we are good, little people! And then as the years go by- we fear the ghosts under our bed, the shadows in a lane, the teacher who always shouts, the bully who hits us and fear takes over. We understand fear and we avoid confrontation because we are fearful of the result. And then later we start fearing leaving home, changing school, changing city, changing boyfriend, changing job and suddenly we equate fear with change!

There is no point fearing change because if there is any constant it is this- CHANGE IS CONSTANT and if you fear change then FEAR WILL BE CONSTANT TOO!

Every few years, whether it is my Geminian madness or my own crazy ambition- I have changed. From movies, to starting a company, to starting two companies, to teaching,to producing, to directing and now to expanding my own company.

Balancing Act Productions

Yes, Balancing Act Productions is expanding. From doing theatre and small amounts of Corporate events and workshops we will now take on more corporate work, off-sites, presentations, workshops, launches, opening, weddings, birthdays and events! I love events and I love the technical precision with which I’ve always run mine and I’d like to do more, plan to do more…WILL DO MORE!

A new team is setting up, new clients will be met…life will change and it’s terrifying !

But I’m going to equate fear with excitement and with the promise of starting something amazing… so wish me luck as I embark on yet another journey!

2013- start something new! (Check!)

P.s.-: Balancing Act Productions is expanding our Event management section and we are HIRING! Email info@balancingactproductions.com NOW!

Marketing …ME!

Today’s world is a marketing world! The best education, the finest degrees are no match for the smooth, smart talker who knows how to market himself and his business idea! It’s all about suave, smart marketing , networking and great smiles! It’s not even about selling a product or an idea… it’s about selling yourself- believing in yourself so much that others buy into the dream too!

This year is my company’s tenth year running… we started in 2002 october and we’re celebrating our tenth year this year with great aplomb and excitement. 10 new shows, several new actors, a team of Balancing Act Productions’ favourites and loooots of work! And the marketing has begun and I’m actually loving it… When I started marketing 10 years ago…I was selling a show, a concept , an idea …and hoping to God people bought into me…because I was young, unsure and terribly scared. Now 10 years later…I think I’ve got it…I believe in me and my idea and it’s become easier asking people to believe because I BELIEVE! It’s difficult selling yourself when you’re not sure whether you are worth it… but the minute you start BETTING ON YOURSELF…that’s when it’s not such a hard sell… you realise YOU ARE WORTH IT and all you need to do is BE YOURSELF and let someone else see yourself the way you see yourself! Instead of trying to create rose tinted glasses for those you are marketing yourself to, all you need to do is try and make them see the concept or the idea through your eyes!

bet

I’m not saying every meeting will be amazing….but I’m saying a little self respect and a little belief in yourself goes a long way….! It makes the meetings more fun and makes your faith in yourself stronger.

10 years down…I’ve learnt how to believe….in me!

 

Take a Chance on Change!

To start over…something must end. To say hello… sometimes we have to say goodbye.To laugh again…sometimes we need to have cried!

Divya Palat 

It’s so hard when things are over when we just keep holding on! I realised this when I produced my first set of shows and the run was complete and as everyone was about to go on stage , I was bawling in the bathroom not willing to let go. Since then ,it’s been 10 years and it’s still hard; but the public display of tears has significantly reduced and I’m learning to let go of incredible shows, amazing experiences and new found family to make way for even more incredible moments!

A lot of my girl friends are the same with relationships. Trapped with bad boyfriends, terrible husbands, abusive relationships- they aren’t even having a great time- but they’re scared of letting go- what if there’s nothing amazing in store for them next? What if this is as good as it gets? A friend of mine stayed with his cheating boy friend just because she was too afraid to actually go out and find someone again. “It’s too hard,” she told me ..”to start over!”

But even if we’re unwilling to change, scared to let go and holding on with all we’ve got- Life is way faster, smarter and trickier than all of us! Sometimes despite all our ‘clingy’ efforts , we’re going to have to change, have to let go, have to start over! And maybe the new is scary but may be it’s what we needed all along.

A perfect planner, I hated to lose control till I got sick and then paralysed and then suddenly had to allow nurses, doctors and family control of my choices, my life, my body! Suddenly in a moment, all that I was clinging to- my ridiculous plans, my naive thoughts on my career progress and my life ambitions had to be re-thought, re assessed and restarted overnight! And when you stop fearing the future and embrace the change then suddenly Life is an adventure and you can be part of an incredible journey. Had I resisted change, Balancing Act Productions (my company) would not be in it’s tenth year , I would not be married to my soulmate and best friend, and I’d never have walked again.

Sometimes Change makes all the right choices you were just too scared to make! Sometimes Change gets it right!

Trust!

The only target that counts aka I am amazing!

And it’s that time of year again where you hang up the keds and say – “Well this is it! I did it!” You accept that a year has gone by and you’re not much wiser, but funnily enough a heck of lot older. You’re not much richer but still have lots of unpaid bills ! But you did it! You made it through an entire year with cuts and scrapes, a few mistakes, a broken bone or two and maybe a bruised ego which hurts more than the bones but YOU MADE IT!

We wake up. We work hard. We give our hearts away. We love. We sweat. We grumble but do it. We aren’t even asked but get things done. We go through every day , most without thanks, pause or even the smallest break. And then we sleep and start all over again! We are amazing!

Maybe we made some of our targets. Maybe we didn’t. Maybe along the way the targets were changed and we had to start all over again. But we tried! And that is amazing!

And the next year will bring us more hopes and dreams; more unfulfilled wants, harder to reach targets and we’ll keep trying! That too is amazing!

So on this Diwali instead of killing yourself over the thing you didn’t achieve and setting more ridiculous targets for next year- take a breath and relax! You’ve done it! Life is hard and YOU make life easier for someone , somewhere and that’s all that matters! Spend your Diwali with family and friends and if you have neither go out and make some…because in the end the only target that counts is making a difference to someone else’s life… ! So eat that uber sweet sweet and light those diyas and celebrate. You’re alive. You’re amazing. And YOU make a difference!

Happy Diwali!

Some of Life’s irrefutable truths

  1. You can take a day off from work. Your company will not collapse. The world will not end. If it did, you would be God. You are not God.
  2. You don’t need to wait till you have an incurable disease to make a bucket list.Makeone today. A bucket list is not a pre- celebration of death…it should be a celebration of life.
  3. You are not as ugly as this think you are and the love of your life is not as amazing as you the he/ she is! But guess what if they love you too….in their eyes you are equally that amazing to them!
  4. Today may be the best day of your life or the worst….but in a few hours it will be tomorrow…so know that neither pain nor elation are constant. It’s only our attitude and our fears that define us? Don’t be afraid.
  5. Laugh openly and honestly. Cry unashamedly. It’s your life. Live it with feeling.
  6. You have never traveled too much or learnt too much. Life is a journey….Keep traveling. Keep learning.
  7. Expect to be treated by others the way you treat them.
  8. Don’t treat relationships as ‘Optionals’ else soon you’ll remain the ‘optional’ in everyone else’s life.
  9. Grow up but never stop being a child.
  10. Try and mean ‘how are you?’ the next time you say it…instead of just hoping everyone will just say ‘I’m fine.’