Love- is that really the crime?

In a world of hate, we could do with a little bit of love…

Life has changed so very much… Where our parents got married in they’re early twenties, we choose to spend our twenties working or traveling or if we’re lucky- doing both! We spend our lives on social networking sites and learn to market ourselves like a product- coldly and calmly and avoid getting overly attached incase we have to rework brand strategy based on what our ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ feel! This being said we have a million acquaintances but very few friends; every sees the mask we hide behind and we make every effort to make that mask perfect, flawless and beautiful hiding true emotions and feelings because that can only make us look ‘ugly’ right? Being single is now not taboo…infact it’s more of the norm than ever. Who has the time for love? And in this world, how can you let your defences down and even try to love? So we remain more rigid, more cold and even more alone.

And then those that seem to fall in ‘love’ seem to fall out immediately… Divorce happens. In this fast paced world of ours we have quick weddings and even quicker divorces and this makes us question love even more.

We’re not the same world any more. We’re not as safe. Among the 4 letter words that come to mind- angry words, hateful words come first- they easily trump ‘love.’

And that’s our excuse… we don’t have time for love… We may not even believe in it.

But in a world of hate can we be so selfish and self centred to not allow love among anyone else either? When 2 people love each other can we actually punish them for it- criminalise them for it? Why? Because we don’t understand it? Because it goes against our beliefs and fundamentals? Because it’s against ‘religion?’

Every religion preaches love and in a world slowly losing its humanity and love, when 2 people love each other regardless of whether they’re man-woman, man-man or woman-woman… should be allowed to love.

In a world where rapists go free, where fraudsters make millions and stay out on bail, where terrorists are never tracked; in a world where anger, rage and hate dominate our newspapers and senses every single day- would it be so terrible  to allow two consenting adults to fall in love? Is that really a crime?

Or are we hiding behind our own masks of self- righteousness and selfishness because if we can’t find love- noone else should? Now that’s the real crime.

 

Advertisements

i FEAR!

Fear.

We sell fear. We buy fear. We live in fear.

We wake up in the mornings and the newspapers scare us. Where we live is unsafe, what we’re eating is wrong, what we’re doing will destroy us…we wake up to fear.

We then go to work, fearing the repercussions of a boss who may one day fire us, a client who may one day not need us, a job where one day we’ll prove we’re replaceable by someone younger, smarter and more ambitious. We work in fear.

We come home trying got do everything the same way we have always done, faring change; lest the wife leaves us, the children hate us, the neighbour bitches about us, the friends prefer other people to spend time with. We come home in fear.

And then we exercise for fear we’ll get diabetes or a heart attack or die. We eat what the newspapers say is good for us till another study prints that all that we thought was good is now bad and we may die any way and then the fears just grow and grow and grow!

Fear starts when we’re young and our parents tell us if we don’t go to sleep ‘the Boogie man will come for us’ and then as we grow older the Boogie man becomes our jobs, our marriages, our life choices …even our food!

We fear the newspapers…we don’t celebrate the victories- big or small.

We fear our jobs- we stop enjoying them

We fear our marriages- love goes out of the window

We fear our health- an the fear causes stress and a whole new set of illnesses.

We live in fear and stress and then the fear and stress finally kills us.

I don’t know how this will work… but this week’s resolution (and I say this week…. because it’s going to be tough to retrain a system which has only been taught stress and fear)- is to HAVE NO FEAR…. I mean… think of the incredible things that I could achieve just with hard work…not worrying about a negative consequence… the possibilities are truly limitless!

Try it with me? And let’s check back on how this felt!

Fear ≠ Change

Fear-: to be afraid or to be apprehensive

When we are little we fear almost nothing. We find fire funny. We play with strays. We roll in the mud. We twist our parents ( big and fearful to others) around our little , tiny fingers and we don’t know defeat. We ask like we deserve something and we expect good things to happen to us- cos we are good, little people! And then as the years go by- we fear the ghosts under our bed, the shadows in a lane, the teacher who always shouts, the bully who hits us and fear takes over. We understand fear and we avoid confrontation because we are fearful of the result. And then later we start fearing leaving home, changing school, changing city, changing boyfriend, changing job and suddenly we equate fear with change!

There is no point fearing change because if there is any constant it is this- CHANGE IS CONSTANT and if you fear change then FEAR WILL BE CONSTANT TOO!

Every few years, whether it is my Geminian madness or my own crazy ambition- I have changed. From movies, to starting a company, to starting two companies, to teaching,to producing, to directing and now to expanding my own company.

Balancing Act Productions

Yes, Balancing Act Productions is expanding. From doing theatre and small amounts of Corporate events and workshops we will now take on more corporate work, off-sites, presentations, workshops, launches, opening, weddings, birthdays and events! I love events and I love the technical precision with which I’ve always run mine and I’d like to do more, plan to do more…WILL DO MORE!

A new team is setting up, new clients will be met…life will change and it’s terrifying !

But I’m going to equate fear with excitement and with the promise of starting something amazing… so wish me luck as I embark on yet another journey!

2013- start something new! (Check!)

P.s.-: Balancing Act Productions is expanding our Event management section and we are HIRING! Email info@balancingactproductions.com NOW!

…and so there was no bread-( my weekend romance!)

the weekend started with the usual ,” where should we go? “, “where should we eat?” debates…i mean a week of home food, no sugar and plenty of exercise makes weekends THE MOST sought after days ever! this weekend was different…it was the weekend before my fifth anniversary. Now aditya and i make it a point to never be in town thru anniversaries…anniversary’s we believe, is about re-connecting, chatting, long walks, laughing, exploring new cities and eating at fabulous new ‘undiscovered’ gems! in my past anniversary’s i have swum with sharks, jumped off a plane and gone on the world’s fastest roller-coaster thereby shifting a disc on my back!

this anniversary we wouldn’t be going anywhere…anand my cousin has his wedding coming up and the family leaves for kerala on my anniversary (i.e. tomorrow) and we are stuck in mumbai, looking after my puppy ,cookie!

this is the back story.

naturally my parents were guilt-ridden about leaving on our anniversary and spent the last week convincing us that they definitely needed to take us out for lunch, brunch, dinner or anything we were up for….

so the weekend started with the lunch with the parents…the lunch was fun and we were getting ready to go back home when ‘the bread story’ began.

my mom needed bread and since we were dropping her home -could we go past the taj where my sister had chosen and left out some bread for her…my sister is director pr at the taj and my mom said that since it had been kept out for her-would it be too much of an inconvenience if we swung by the Taj.

naturally i said ofcourse we’d swing by and it would be no trouble at all…

i doubt the president of India has as much security as the Taj does and so naturally we couldn’t find parking….i was okay with this…since it seemed only a job that would take less than a minute or so- till aditya piped in- he wanted bread too and would it be a problem if i went and got some for him.

i was cross…relaxing in the car after a heavy lunch; i was quite content to go back home, watch a couple of tv shows and crash….my idea of the perfect weekend day; but aditya was insistent. i offered to man the car while he rushed in but that was vetoed by him and so quite crossly i went in to the taj with my parents and speed-stomping my way to la pattisiere.

halfway down the corridor…i heard ‘ divya’ and some more shouting saying ‘come back’ and went back towards the Taj palace reception where i was greeted by a smiling taj receptionist who prompty proceeded to garland me and wished me ‘happy anniversary.’ despite her being a few days early, i chose to smile and not correct her because that might take a bit of time and i was rushing to get aditya’s bread. this must have been a cheesy but very sweet joke on aditya’s and my sister’s part i thought…so i strutted off again with a renewed sense of urgency!

once again i was stopped and told that bread was not necessary…it WAS all part of a plan that aditya and my sister had worked out— but there was more…and aditya was on his way to tell us what was next!

aditya came in and was greeted with garlands and a tikka and behind him i saw an overnight bag packed and ready. we were checking in! even if just for a night…he wanted to ensure that we had our 5th anniversary and created an almost exact replica of when we first came to the taj after our wedding….

nikhila, my sister had upgraded us to the dolphin suite which was luxurious in every way and within minutes we were changed and at the pool    replicating our first stay after marriage at the Taj!

how my control freak self did not see luggage packed in my car or notice the swimsuit/ night clothes missing , i’ll never know… my only excuse is that on any day i’m not a morning person and more so on weekends !

how my husband still managed to surprise me 5 years into a marriage is still amazing…

and the weekend was even more incredible than i ever imagined…the first time ’round i was living for the first time with my best friend…i was still trying to get this ‘marriage thing’ right… now 5 years later- i still get the ‘marriage thing’ wrong. i shout and scream and don’t say the right things all the time or sometimes any time at all- but i’m still with my best friend and if it’s possible….i love him more!

 

here’s to forever baby…