Will you Be My Valentine?

I love love. I love being loved. I love the whole feeling of love and I love to love! If there’s one day that means the world to me – it’s Valentines Day!

Over the years I have heard the cynics say ‘well love can happen on any day.’ And here’s the thing I agree. But if it can happen on any day the why can’t it happen on Valentines Day too!

By that notion- each of us could celebrate the new year on any day and several religions do and yet December 31st is celebrated as the New Year’s Eve and we wish each other and party and enjoy the happiness that envelops us as the new year approaches!

So on Valentines , it’s cupcakes in the office and a few more for those I love. It’s flowers and more everywhere I look and I always try to have a few surprises for my embarrassed better (?) half. This year I had a serenader serenade the husband in the middle of the office, as he blushed a shot shade of pink! The serenader sang well. The pink looked perfect for the occasion !

And I get that one day isn’t enough to show you care or that this may be a Hallmark holiday but I think if I can make a lil more effort on one day it’s better than not making any effort at all or just sliding along by saying that we don’t need to show we care.

Life has to be full of moments and days like these allow you to think those moments through a little more.

In a world of hate, and I say this having read about the horrific , cowardly attack in Kashmir; is it so bad to try and fill others’ lives with love?

In a world of anger, stress, hunger and sadness- even if you don’t have your lobster-can’t you spread love to a person around you? A friend, a relative, a loved one, a colleague or just someone you feel needs it?

And if there’s one day that can glorify a powerful positive feeling like love- shouldn’t we all enjoy it!

If I were given my way- there’d be a Valentines Day every month!

P.s. (Palat says)-: A long week of pitching some incredible characters in beautiful stories …On wards to next week and let’s make Magic!

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The Big Fight

They call Life – the ‘rat-race!’ They call Life-‘a fight’; ‘a struggle!’ They glorify fighting for what you believe in and sometimes in all the madness of fighting, you forget what you’re fighting for.

They tell you that you must ‘Fight for love’ and Fight for your dream’ and then ‘Fight to stay alive and afloat!’ And they forget that in the midst of all this fighting, it stops becoming fun and just becomes something you keep doing- pushing your head against an endless wall of pain because that’s what you’ve been conditioned to.

We’re not taught to believe. We’re taught to FIGHT to believe. We’re not taught to love. We’re taught to FIGHT for love. We’re not taught to succeed . We’re taught to FIGHT to succeed.

And then they wonder where all this aggression and anger comes from. Soldiers fight a war at the borders. We fight a war with ourselves every day. We’ve taken out the fun in life, love, relationships, beliefs and friendships… it’s a war and apparently we HAVE TO WIN! Life’s not about the fun of competition or the joy of the experience- it’s a war and you have to fight to stay alive!

Right from childhood , you are taught to fight- fight hard, even fight dirty. This is ingrained in school , at home and even in sports. We don’t spend the same time spending people to respect, to love, to acknowledge, to see… that’s all a waste of time! And so our aggression is fine tuned till it’s almost inherent in every cell of our bodies.

Well I’m tired. I’m out. I’m out of the fight.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop working or achieving- this just means I’m going to have fun doing it! I’m not fighting you, I’m too busy propping myself up…I’m too busy ENCOURAGING ME TO BE ME… and I’m not going to fight you because that war is not worth my energy or my time!

I’m done. I win! :)… guess the conditioning takes a while longer to rub off!

 

Love- is that really the crime?

In a world of hate, we could do with a little bit of love…

Life has changed so very much… Where our parents got married in they’re early twenties, we choose to spend our twenties working or traveling or if we’re lucky- doing both! We spend our lives on social networking sites and learn to market ourselves like a product- coldly and calmly and avoid getting overly attached incase we have to rework brand strategy based on what our ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ feel! This being said we have a million acquaintances but very few friends; every sees the mask we hide behind and we make every effort to make that mask perfect, flawless and beautiful hiding true emotions and feelings because that can only make us look ‘ugly’ right? Being single is now not taboo…infact it’s more of the norm than ever. Who has the time for love? And in this world, how can you let your defences down and even try to love? So we remain more rigid, more cold and even more alone.

And then those that seem to fall in ‘love’ seem to fall out immediately… Divorce happens. In this fast paced world of ours we have quick weddings and even quicker divorces and this makes us question love even more.

We’re not the same world any more. We’re not as safe. Among the 4 letter words that come to mind- angry words, hateful words come first- they easily trump ‘love.’

And that’s our excuse… we don’t have time for love… We may not even believe in it.

But in a world of hate can we be so selfish and self centred to not allow love among anyone else either? When 2 people love each other can we actually punish them for it- criminalise them for it? Why? Because we don’t understand it? Because it goes against our beliefs and fundamentals? Because it’s against ‘religion?’

Every religion preaches love and in a world slowly losing its humanity and love, when 2 people love each other regardless of whether they’re man-woman, man-man or woman-woman… should be allowed to love.

In a world where rapists go free, where fraudsters make millions and stay out on bail, where terrorists are never tracked; in a world where anger, rage and hate dominate our newspapers and senses every single day- would it be so terrible  to allow two consenting adults to fall in love? Is that really a crime?

Or are we hiding behind our own masks of self- righteousness and selfishness because if we can’t find love- noone else should? Now that’s the real crime.

 

You are a survivor!

People are horrible. They are mean. They make opinions when they don’t know you. They are harsh, self centered, rude and callous. People are horrible. They lie to your face. They forget you. They replace you. They hurt you- knowingly, unknowingly. People are horrible.

But then there are some- a few among a swarm of hundred who accept you for who you are, who like you…maybe even love you.They laugh at the jokes you crack not because they’re good or even funny but because it’ll make you happy. They smile, laugh, hug you. They want to make you happy and they try. They may not succeed all the time but they try. These are the people that are worth calling people- because they are YOUR PEOPLE!

YOU are somebody’s person too- whether you realize it or not. You make someone laugh, someone happy, someone feel special.You make someone’s life worthwhile. You make them a priority even at times forgetting to prioritize yourself.

Life must be about YOUR PEOPLE.

More often than not we listen to the boos from the crowd, the criticism from those who are only critical and the harsh words from the haters. We do not hear the claps from that one person in the crowd who really cares, the person who is on our side- OUR PERSON! And we allow their voice to get drowned out by the boos. We allow their opinions to be stepped over by the haters. We stop listening because what do they really know?

People need people. Even if you’re an island and prefer solo time to talking to people- you need someone on your side …playing for your team. Find your people. Keep your people. Because people need people!

Drown out the haters. We are all survivors. Everyday. Even if we haven’t survived disease, or cheated death- we have each survived venomous hate, pointless anger, hurtful backbiting. We are each survivors.

Good morning. I’m a survivor and I’m proud and rather than spreading hate and anger, I choose to spread love and life.

Make the same choice too!

Have a great week!

The Age of War

Courtesy-: Times of India Celebrity Blog by Divya Palat

“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”- Isaac Asimov.

If that is true the world must be getting more and more incompetent each day. The horrors of this week were so frightful they were like a terrifying movie but unfortunately all to real.

The shocking violence that erupted in the Manesar plant was not only terrifying- it was unforgivable. Whatever the reason for the outrage to have a group of people storm a plant and beat the employees and worse still beat and burn another human being alive is paralyzing. A group of people made a choice to war against a company by injuring and killing other helpless employees. It didn’t matter that these employees were not directly responsible for their outrage against the company- they just felt the need to act out against the company and well, these poor office workers sitting at their desks made for perfect sitting ducks and their computers apt weapons – weapons to kill with! There was no end game in mind, just wild ,senseless rage and they decided to act on it. Animals kill to eat. Humans kill for sport. What kind of sport makes it okay to be killing our own?

And then what kind of person must you be and what kind of anger must you have if you decide to go in to a crowded movie hall in Colorado and shoot patrons at point blank range,one of whom was a 3 month old baby? To dress up in mask and go in for a movie pretending to be a fan and opening fire on people trapped in a movie hall- to me that is making hunting people a live video game for this psychotic murderer. And while the U.S Government debates gun laws, a whole bunch of pro-gun Americans ask why a 3 month old baby was brought to a movie? If you don’t have help at home or have a very quiet baby whom you don’t want to leave lying alone- surely you should be allowed to bring your  own baby out with you! I , on the other hand wonder , if there was another person carrying a gun that night in the same hall and chose to ‘defend’ himself or play ‘Batman’ against this ‘Joker’ can you imagine the many more lives that might have been lost in the cross fire? How scary is that thought?

As a Society this shocks us but often we let the small crimes slide. When a woman and her brother were beaten by cops on her birthday for arguing amongst themselves on a street in Mumbai, we allow the police to defame her, abuse her and justify their violence against her.

Incidents like these give license to horrors like a group of men molesting and almost raping an eleventh standard girl in Guwahati in the middle of the road. That video went viral in minutes and was debated hotly on channels and by newspapers for a whole 24 hours. A week later we have now forgotten these depraved men mauling her, pulling her hair, abusing her and molesting her. We have their pictures and we even have the video which clearly identifies these men but no arrests are made. With the ever erupting violence in different parts of the country and even different countries ; it’s easy to forget this young girl’s story. After all none of us were affected, why should it affect us?

And yet it should- because in today’s day and age -violence is regular, depravity is common and no one is safe.

We don’t punish violence and by the time we feel the need for action it’s often way too late because we’re the ones affected and no one cares!

Maybe this violence stems from deep rooted frustration and in a few cases immense anger but whatever their reasons may be ; there is no justification for the abuse, the humiliation and even the murder of another human being.

Mark Twain once said “When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”

In today’s day and age however it seems like “When angry; beat, kick, abuse. When very angry, kill.”

P.s (Palat says)-: I believe that even when Life shuts more than a few doors in your face…Somewhere a window will open! Maybe I’m an optimist. But I’d rather be that than a murderer.