To all the haters of Valentines Day!

Well here’s my short letter to you…!

To all the Haters of Valentines Day,

I’m sorry! But you suck!

But for those who feel they deserve a less snippy version… here are my thoughts! We spend our lives criticising, critiquing, hating…not just others but ourselves! We’re never good enough, fast enough , cute enough, popular enough or pretty enough! We watch tv shows to cut them up into pieces… we even watch things or dress in t-shirts to make statements ‘ironically’ because I mean it’s not cool to like something or even worse still love anything anymore! I mean that’s sooooo lame! It’s so much cooler to wander around in a fury- angered by society, spouses, the government and even our friends! It’s become cool to hate!

Now this is one day we’re we (and aaaaallllll the greeting card companies) celebrate uncoolness! We celebrate love! And even if you don’t have that ‘right person’ at the moment, isn’t it cool to spend the day loving things about ourselves- I mean- go out and dress up, pamper yourself, read a book, finish a tv show, treat yourself to lunch- look around you… Can’t you spend one miserable day not hating your life and all those around you?

Valentines Day celebrates the joy of giving love. We’re often so caught up in our own lives…we forget that it’s not the job that makes the world go ’round, it’s the people… the people in your lives… so smile. Get out. Buy an overpriced rose or card and treat someone else…Make them smile and if you can’t find someone…buy something for yourself and be your own Valentine…

Spreading the love isn’t uncool…it’s in fact pretty fabulous!!!

Aditya Hitkari.Express photo by Prashant Nadkar, Mumbai. 05/07/2006

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i love you. i hate you.

Those petty fights.

Who was wrong? Who was right?

You took too long on saying I love you. You think I’m fat? You don’t buy me anything. You forgot my birthday/ our date/ to meet me.

Who was wrong? Who was right?

Those petty fights.

You don’t care about me. You don’t listen. You shout too much. You nag to much. I hate your friends. You hate my drinking/ football/ work/ late nights.

Who was wrong? Who was right?

Those petty fights.

You left me alone. You yelled. You talked to her. I hate your ex. You hate my mom. I hate this car. I hate your hair. You hate my dress. You hate everything I wear.

Who was wrong? Who was right?

Those petty fights.

Every moment could be our last. Do we really want to go fighting or being fought with?Is it really important? Is that what we really mean to say?

I love you. I’m sorry. I tried. I mean well. You inspire me. You challenge me. I must be better for you.

Please. Love me. Thank you.

 

relationship 101 ( fact, fiction and complete myths!)

CHEATING IS NOT OKAY!

i had a friend who was once advised by her mom’s friend that well ‘ all men cheat and now that she was getting married , she must learn to accept it!

cheating is not okay. all men do not cheat. all women do not cheat. you should not be in a committed relationship if you think cheating is not a big issue!

ALL WOMEN DO NOT WISH TO RUN TO THE ALTAR IMMEDIATELY!

…in fact several women are commitment-phobes! so…just because we’re in a relationship with you doesn’t mean we want to get married tomorrow!…you still have to woo us, propose to us and then….. we have to say ‘yes!’

GETTING MARRIED WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING!

the first year of marriage is the roughest…once you weather that..it gets easier…but definitely DO NOT think that marriage will solve problems…in fact there will be so many things that crop up about your partner; it will only add to grievances/ issues you already had…. so fix the problems and kinks….then decide on a date and then get married! fix problems first!

DATING IS FUN FOREVER!

…it is for a bit… it is incredible and a high….but there;s nothing better than knowing you HAVE A DATE , every day any day! AND YOU CHOSE HIM/ HER!

I MUST BE COMPLETELY HONEST….ABOUT EVERYTHING!

…Tell your partner about the important stuff….medical stuff, some past girl friends/ boy friends….but know when your just saying things to hurt your partner or put him/her down. deal with some stuff on your own…you’re not perfect….your partner knows that…just make sure your telling them things that are relevant to your current relationship and not something to make them feel bad about themselves!

MARRIAGE IS A COMPROMISE!

if you’re using the word compromise then…you want to seriously reconsider your relationship…whatever you are giving up to be with your partner should be not something that important that you think it as ‘compromising’ on something!…marriage must make you add to your talents not subtract them!

LOVE IS ALL ABOUT THE DRAMA!

sure drama is wonderful…but if all you are doing is crying and pining….then GET OUT! love is about the laughter and fun. it’s about giggling and cuddling…it’s happy, it’s safe,it’s light!

HE HIT ME BUT HE WAS REALLY SORRY!

GET OUT! NOW! he needs help … abusers always try and woo their ‘prey’ ( and i use this word to give you an idea of who you are to him) back…! so get out! he needs to get help! stop being his punching bag! BUT YOU NEED TO GET OUT NOW!

KIDS WILL MAKE THE MARRIAGE STRONGER

not necessarily…if your marriage has problems …fix them first before you bring in a child…having a child will only add responsibilities and problems don’t disappear -they need to be dealt with! don’t try and make an infant your shrink….! work your problems out , then start a family!

…do write in with some of your own 101 advice or even issues…let’s blog…talk about it!

To be with you…in sickness and in health!

So the joy of having had a neurological illness like ADEM is that my immune system is shot to hell! Now this article will be very bitter and annoyed ….but sometimes it’s just hard to be un-annoyed when my brain and mind wills me on and my body seems to be happy crumbling!

So…. the husband was sick! Now this is good–not that he is sick …but that i get a chance to worry about him, look after him and check whether the temperature is lower or whether he’s inhaled! All was going fine…i got him into bed early, felt I was a very good wife and even tucked in myself!

2 am and I wander into the bathroom only to suddenly realise I’m blacking out…yell for aditya. He effortlessly , even in his sick-state puts me on to the bed where I then proceed to throw up! Considering I hadn’t eater dinner, it was worrying….and so he’s out with all the correct tablets and carefully tucks me in and i go to bed for the second time in the night…now feeling like a very bad wife and a very sick person!

I awaken to aditya looking after himself with haldi-milk and steam and he asks ME how i am feeling….just as I am about to embark on a ‘I’m fine…let’s worry about you…’ conversation(the good wife in me wants to be good!) ; I’m interrupted by a dry cough from my throat and a splitting headache that won’t allow me to open my eyes…

As this article goes up…I am now nauseous and have a cold that won’t quit.

Dearest Aditya…I promise to be with you …in great health and greater health….In any sickness, apparently my body will steal it from you, and create a brand new more annoying version of your sickness…so for that I am sorry!

Cough Cough!