What I’ve learnt so far…(love, relationships,women and men!)

So I was listening to the Sunscreen Song…a fave of mine whenever I’m down! And before you ask why….I am overtired and overworked and sometimes an instant pep up is in order…! The song got me thinking….I love relationships, love and dispensing advice ;-)…so maybe i should list out some of the things I’ve learnt so far…

  1. Love has got to make you smile…if there are more tears than cheers…you are in the wrong relationship!
  2. Women cry when they get hurt…men may not…that doesn’t mean what you say doesn’t hurt them!
  3. Dates are important…never let the woo-ing period ever end….even when the honeymoon does!
  4. Life is hard- cut yourself a break sometimes!
  5. Smile- even if you have nothing to smile about…just smile…it’s better than a caffeine pick up (and with my love for coffee if I’m saying that-it must be!)
  6. Whenever you’re going thru a bad day…there’s probably someone who’s going thru worse…so still count ur blessings!
  7. We’re all equally scared and doing things for the first time- women and men- it’s not that either sex is less scared; it’s just that certain people hide their worries a little better!
  8. Travel. See the world. Learn how amazing it is. The magnificence and largeness of the world makes you understand how you are just a small part of something incredible.
  9. You don’t know what someone else is going through… so give them a break if they seem unreasonable sometimes. You probably seem unreasonable to some people too!
  10.  Celebrate everything- the wins, the losses and everything in between.
  11. Care for at least one person more than you care for yourself. And don’t expect that back. Just care – cos you do!
  12. It’s never too late to start over.It’s never too late to change career path, life, relationships, anything. Follow your heart.
  13. Believe. Even when it seems impossible- believe.
  14. You are younger today, than you will ever be- enjoy it.
  15. Find friends. Make friends. Be a friend.
  16. Say ‘I love you’ to those you love for absolutely no reason at all. It makes you both feel good.
  17. Any conversation you have could be the last you have with that person… so be careful with your words.
  18. Write your angry emails and then save them to drafts. Go back to them later, read them to somebody- and only then send them.
  19. Show up or don’t be there…. Don’t just turn up. Give something your full focus else don’t be there…
  20. You are much more beautiful / handsome than you think you are!

P.s. (Palat says)-: I am trying to focus on a few of these this week… will let you know how it goes. And yuppp I did tone down the angry email before I sent it !

Advertisements

To all the haters of Valentines Day!

Well here’s my short letter to you…!

To all the Haters of Valentines Day,

I’m sorry! But you suck!

But for those who feel they deserve a less snippy version… here are my thoughts! We spend our lives criticising, critiquing, hating…not just others but ourselves! We’re never good enough, fast enough , cute enough, popular enough or pretty enough! We watch tv shows to cut them up into pieces… we even watch things or dress in t-shirts to make statements ‘ironically’ because I mean it’s not cool to like something or even worse still love anything anymore! I mean that’s sooooo lame! It’s so much cooler to wander around in a fury- angered by society, spouses, the government and even our friends! It’s become cool to hate!

Now this is one day we’re we (and aaaaallllll the greeting card companies) celebrate uncoolness! We celebrate love! And even if you don’t have that ‘right person’ at the moment, isn’t it cool to spend the day loving things about ourselves- I mean- go out and dress up, pamper yourself, read a book, finish a tv show, treat yourself to lunch- look around you… Can’t you spend one miserable day not hating your life and all those around you?

Valentines Day celebrates the joy of giving love. We’re often so caught up in our own lives…we forget that it’s not the job that makes the world go ’round, it’s the people… the people in your lives… so smile. Get out. Buy an overpriced rose or card and treat someone else…Make them smile and if you can’t find someone…buy something for yourself and be your own Valentine…

Spreading the love isn’t uncool…it’s in fact pretty fabulous!!!

Aditya Hitkari.Express photo by Prashant Nadkar, Mumbai. 05/07/2006

We’re all still teenagers trying to grow up!

We’re all just teenagers trying to grow up… We’ve aged a bit, got a couple of grey strands or may be more. We’re married/ settled/ seeing someone/ broken it off/ still single! We have jobs and cars. We pay mortgages, pay off loans, go in and out of debt! We’re old enough to drink and vote and sometimes can’t figure out whether the drink or the politician is the lesser of two evils! We have our own money, make up our own minds(most of the time), have a job, a life… and yet we’re still teenagers trying to grow up!

We’re as insecure but we mask it better. We’re as scared but we’ve learnt to pretend to be confident. We’re as alone but we’ve learnt to surround ourselves with pretty things, fancy gadgets and fast cars and maybe even a trophy wife/husband/girl friend but we still hide our fears, our worries , our personal failings…

But teenagers are given a break. They are allowed to be irrational because- “well they are teens!” They are allowed to break down, cry, scream, yell, slam doors and all is forgotten and forgiven as they are young and going through life changes…!

Well give yourself a break… Life changes all the time and whereas we may be a little older and not a lot wiser- life is still changing for all of us! And it’s okay to want to bang doors sometimes, or yell at the top of your voice because you’re so mad, or just cry! It’s okay to feel scared,insecure and unsure…even when you’re supposed to know everything and every one and supposed to have it all under control- it’s okay to ask for help! I figure ‘Life’ as this person- wise, older, smarter than us and well…OLDER!(Yes I know I said that- I’m repeating…for effect!) so that being said… you’re always teenager in the eyes of ‘Life’… It has more experience and you are allowed to give yourself a break sometimes and stop being so hard on yourself! It’s all the fun of growing up !

So the next time you make a mistake…take a breath! There’ll be plenty more mistakes and plenty more heartaches but there’ll also be plenty more firsts and there are several more first times left…!

It’s okay not to be sure of where you’re going or who you want to be…that’s the fun of life… you can keep finding new things about yourself, find new talents, make new habits- it keeps you alive and keeps the excitement going!

Enjoy the adventure and NEVER GROW UP!

Universal Studios – The VIP Experience

This was Aditya’s first experience in Los Angeles and in the city of a million dreams and where  everyone either is a star or looks like one it was only fitting that we went to a shrine of filmdom The Universal Studios! This was his birthday gift and we had to do it ‘Divya Style’–first-class all the way! So weeks in advance I signed us up for UNIVERSAL STUDIOS- THE VIP EXPERIENCE! I had been here before and had even seen Bill Cosby walking to ‘work,’ but this was Aditya’s first trip and I wanted it to be magical- The Universal Tour- VIP Experience!

This meant you were taken around the studios with only 10 people, never stood in a line… but here’s where it gets interesting you were allowed access to the prop rooms and sound stages and even a couple of sets which were used for active shooting! To call Aditya a movie fanatic is a complete understatement…He remembers dialogue , the framing of scenes, trivia on the movie and the actors. He can tell you what they wore, what the director ‘said’, what production problems they went through… He LOVES FILM- so essentially this was the perfect gift!

We chose a 10:30 am. time and checked into the VIP section at about 10:15 am. If you drive, they will valet park your car but we weren’t driving. We went to the VIP lounge ordered a quick cappuccino and a juice, munched on a wonderful chocolate muffin and were then given our VIP Access cards- which are just so cool to keep that we knew the day was going to be amazing (yes, we’re silly that way!). And then we were off in our own personal buggy just for the 10 of us where we started our tour with a private tour guide who not only ensured we went through all the attractions of the theme park…he also let us wait just a little longer for that picture perfect moment!

And then while other Universal Studios visitors headed back into the park..we were taken past the CSI Shooting Stages and down Wisteria Lane (where Desperate Housewives was shooting)and into a sound stage where we met technicians and saw where sound is mixed for some of the most wonderful films we have seen.

Then it was off to the Prop Room….though it’s more like a building of props where you have everything from ET masks, to cutlery, to the head of a sphinx and even a Ganesha!!! Fascinating, wonderfully kept and logged and so incredibly comprehensive it’s no wonder that every show and every film can have such an individual flavoring and styling!

We were also then shown the coveted Oscars that Universal Studios had won and then it was time to wander around one of the sets…We then visited and walked around a plane that had been used for War of the Worlds.We saw a small town shooting lot in what could be used for a Western.We walked in to the empty ‘bar,’saw the shop fronts and walked in and around the sets and then went to an active stage being used for the TV Show parenthood. The house with its many rooms and with each room’s individual detailing was a trip to see! It was wonderful how they used perspective and painting to show the other houses on a lane while just shooting in a single, individual stage!

After a hectic morning, it was time for a VIP lunch of salads and fries, pasta, burger and sides. While a musician serenaded us with show tunes we enjoyed a restful lunch and cappuccino ( yes I do love my coffee!) . It was then on to rides and more fun!

The Simpson ride was my personal favourite and after the tour and the rides since there was still a few more hours till closing , I proudly flashed my VIP Badge and got access to the ride once more before we left!

I loved the Revenge of the Mummy and am a sucker for a good roller coaster… The day started on an incredible high and with the VIP Tour just went higher after that!

It’s an experience that I definitely recommend for any movie buff and an experience absolutely catered to you!

Tour Cost- $270 so it does cost a bit… but for a once-in-a-lifetime super personal experience it’s wellllllll worth it! Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY!

is he the one & happy birthday aditya ;-) ( p.s. aditya IS the one…)

so….people (friends and blog readers…so also friends;-)) keep asking how you know…? how do you know if he’s the one? what is there’s someone just ’round the corner who’s better? do bells ring when you know you’re with the right one? does your heart skip a beat ( p.s. YES it skips many beats!!!!…you might think you have heart problems 😉 )?

HOW DO YOU KNOW!????

well i’ve always been a nerd…but sometimes in love and life that’s a good thing…I’d say make a list… an ideal person list! yup the fairytale variety and then start writing out the non negotiable and the negotiable…

for e.g.

NON NEGOTIABLE

  1. Male/ female
  2. Religion (if your religious)
  3. Family- how he treats his…./ or how he sees family…
  4. Where he wants to live (you can’t realistically live your entire lives in 2 different continents!)
  5. how does he/ she make you feel- does he make you smile!!! he definitely shouldn’t be the one making you cry….
  6. does he make you want to be a better person( even if ur pretty awesome …do you still wanna be better?)
  7. does he encourage you to achieve?
  8. is he part of your cheering squad!?? is he on your side??
  9. does he make you feel safe
  10. does he make you feel stronger?

etc. … you get the idea

NEGOTIABLE

  1. Looks (they go/ change/become better/ worse)
  2. Money (life changes as does the markets!)
  3. Night person/ morning person
  4. Cleanliness- YOU CAN CHANGE THAT! 😉
  5. Hobbies/ sports /…. you can get a hobby / play a sport together…. (that would be funner(yes thats my new word!))

Once you write your list -give it to your best friend and make sure they help you stick to it!!! or make sure you stick to it!!! Don’t ever change the non-negotiables cos you’ll always feel you’ve changed yourself or given up something and that will only make you feel negative…make you feel like you’ve compromised! The Negotiables- change/ cut/ add/ subtract–!

when you get someone good- grab them…with both hands and all your heart cos guess what they’re might be a hundred people better but there’s one person who’s ‘just right’ for you and you don’t wanna spend your whole life looking for the better opportunity and end up without someone to come home to….

remember he’s not a better job opportunity…he’s a person and with the right person…you can go all the way the top- workwise and happiness-wise!

in the same breath…happy birthday to my one…! we fight, we change, we move, we grow…but we do it together. thank you aditya…i love you.