The Imperfect Fit

I was never part of any clique (group)- popular or unpopular – I just didn’t belong.

I’ve never been the perfect fit anywhere I think. I’ve always been the one who is a bit too loud, a bit too ambitious, a bit ott romantic. I produced theatre for 18 years but was never arty enough. I won awards globally but then I was far too artsy. I topped school but wasn’t nerdy enough. I did ads but was never a model, acted in films but was never a film actor, never a girly girl or a tomboy. I just didn’t fit in.

And on most days, I’ve been okay about standing out… even proclaimed (bravely) that I relished being a loner… but this was one of the days where I just felt like a school girl who nobody wanted to sit with. It wasn’t even a major deal but in the company of my husband – a popular kid and a former head boy and just a person who fits perfectly everywhere and my puppy- another absolutely stellar creature who makes friends in seconds and is an absolute must at any social event 🙂 I felt like the broken training wheel of a perfect bicycle.

And so sadly I went up to my (much) better half (yes, I was in one of those self sacrificing, sad moods) and asked him how we worked; he seemed bewildered by the question. In his eyes, I am the ‘don’t care a damn’ fighter chick, who’ll take on any person/challenge head on and win! I’m the person who loves with all my heart, will fight with all my soul and will never shy away from any thing or any one. In his eyes, where everyone works so hard at trying to fit in, to be loved , to be heard– he loved that I was an honest perfect fit. “With you,” he said “everyone knows who they’ve got! There’s no pretence just truth” He also , and I say this knowing he’ll read my blog and go the perfect shade of tomato; said, he wanted to be more like me sometimes!

That got me thinking, were we all worried we didn’t fit in perfectly, and was fit that important? I mean just because we didn’t fit within our own idea of what the perfect fit was… did that really make a difference? I mean in my oddball, weird way, I seem to fit perfectly with my more popular family members. In fact I was more often than not the head of this enviable clique! And wasn’t that the point of cliques anyway- to find a place for you to belong? And if I do belong with my peeps… did I really need more cliques?

Satisfied that I was indeed with the best group created ever, I looked around. We’re all trying to fit in and find place for ourselves in this crazy, mad, over filled world. But if we just stop for a moment and ensure that who we are fits perfectly with how we feel and what we believe and then find people who like us for our honest selves- then we’ve actually beat the system and we’ve actually found our perfect ‘fits.’

P.s. (Palat says)-: Look for the work or friend groups that let you be exactly who you are ;that way you’ll never be out of fit or out of style!

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To all the liars out there…

I have been blessed over the last few years to have been able to eliminate the majority of the negative people in my life which has allowed more space for new, fabulous and positive people in…

These people inspire me to think every day. They inspire me to be better, do more, feel more and achieve more.

But every so often you’re given a blast from the past and are witness to some of the negative people you let go of and you are reminded about why they aren’t with you anymore. These are the people who will lie about you, will try and walk on top of you just to achieve some sense of achievement. And it makes me proud.

Proud that I left them.Proud that I did good.

I am without you for a reason.

I am sorry I still figure in your conversations. And you need to spin it, to make your self the  winner…!

I don’t need to spin anything any more.

I am surrounded by winners. I am surrounded by heroes. I am surrounded by people so incredible…I become a little more fabulous each day. I am surrounded by superstars and I don’t take anything away from them to make me feel better about my life cos it’s pretty perfect … especially now that you’re not in it! (sorry couldn’t risk the childish dig!)

cuviybmwgaejimz

 

Today I feel good.

Start your day saying this.

Even on the days where everything hurts, nothing wants to wake up and where the bed is your only friend.

Today I feel good.

Say it when everything is going stupidly wrong and when no-one around you is even trying to make sense and all that you created or worked for is shot to hell.

Today I feel good.

When deadlines close in.When bosses are mean for no reason at all. When nothing makes sense.

Today I feel good…

Say it long enough and loud enough and guess what, you may just trick the universe in to giving you the most amazing day!

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The Exhaustion of Being

justbreathe

 

So over a dinner with friends the other evening, it seemed like everyone was suffering the same malady… ‘I’m exhausted!’… ‘Done by 9!’….’Cant’t get out! Don’t even want to!’

The problem, we realised was not age… (despite the snickering yawns) or our jobs even…. it was just mental fatigue and the aversion to just do anything after the very long days we were all working.

A movie, a dinner, friends… were just more work… no fun!

When did ‘stress’ replace the word ‘life’?

When did ‘monday blues’ become ‘everyday woes’?

Between traveling in the city, impossible deadlines and the non-stop desire to keep moving life just became one long never ending day.

Stop. Sleep. Breathe. The world won’t fall off its axis without you.

I had a great night’s sleep last night and woke up to a perfectly brilliant morning where nothing was more or less stressful then the night before… The world hadn’t stop turning and life was a little easier thanks to the fact that I was in better humour!

 

 

#NoFailResolutions

So it’s that time of year when Resolutions have been made and more than a few have been already broken…The year has started and we’re in a ‘Same %&## , different year’ mood…!

But before you give up hope and start counting the 50 odd weeks left for the next new year…I thought of some Resolutions that you should make, can keep and will make you feel pretty good about it!

Resolutions for myself

  1. I will look after me. I will love me. I will pamper me. Because I love and wish to look after myself I will try and eat better so I can spend more time looking after me. I will not punish myself if I mess up on a day or two because I love me and I am making a resolution to look after myself- not by punishment but with love and faith.
  2. I will do one thing every day that makes me happy.  Life is too short to go thru it in a rut and then suddenly find that you are too old to enjoy all of the things you should have enjoyed when you were younger. So everyday… even I start talking to a friend that I haven’t spoken to in years or meeting someone over coffee… I will do something that makes me happy!
  3. Spend more time with those I love.  It’s special to love and to be loved. it’s important to recognise that and not take it all for granted so I will make sure I spend time with those I love and let them spend time loving, fretting and looking after me. A loved soul makes for a happy soul!

Resolutions for work

  1. I will challenge myself. I understand that I may be happy with how well things are going… but I will set new targets and will aim to achieve them. I will not be hard on myself if every thing doesn’t automatically fall in to place… but I will never stop dreaming and never stop trying.
  2. I have a dream and I will keep at it. I had dreams when I was younger of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do…I will start dreaming all over again and make those dreams come true… slowly, steadily but surely!
  3. I will stop work.  A 20 hour day doesn’t make me more efficient than a person who can achieve the same in fewer hours. I will set goals for myself that are reasonable and then as I complete them I will stop. Sometimes a break can help you work more effectively.  I will work smarter not longer!

These were just some basics that are almost #NoFailResolutions. They are easy, possible, thought provoking and can be expanded upon! And most of all… you can’t break them…

I’m making my 2014 about ME. You should make it about you too!

 

Changing my Perspective

When friends ask me why I keep working when I’m sick or have horrendous pain because of a Multiple Sclerosis triggered attack, I never had much of an answer, except that I’m a workaholic and a bit nuts… But then I thought about it a bit and I realised that when I was sick and unable to move I missed moving, working and living so much that I made a vow to myself that i was never going to let another day pass me by where I didn’t try and do everything, every single thing that I could do!

It’s all about perspective!

Think about it… when you were awoken too early… or just woke up too early in the morning; someone somewhere is never going to get the morning you just woke up to; someone somewhere is going to hope that they have another morning left; someone somewhere is going to wish someone they cared about actually woke up this morning!

When you have a bad day at work…Think about it- you HAVE work. Millions are jobless, on their last few rupees/ dollars, have mortgaged their homes, their lives , are ready to do anything just to have even a bad day at WORK, because they WANT to WORK!

A nagging wife wants you back home, that’s cause for annoyance except when you think of the many, many people out there wishing they’d find love, who’d trade their lives with yours in a heartbeat just to get rid of the loneliness…

And then there’s the terrible leg pain… and you have to think of the hundreds and thousands of amputees who have no legs….who’d give anything just to feel a cramp or a leg ache again!

A delayed contract, a painful break up, even a critical parent- it just means you have a job and may soon get a contract; you were with the wrong person, but you learnt how to love; someone believes you can be better than who you are today and they love you!

It’s all about perspective…!

Have a POSITIVELY great week ahead!

 

Happy Birthday to ME!

It’s that time of year again when I reminisce on the days gone by….on the months and years gone by…. and try and decide whether I did it right…. It’s BIRTH DAY time and the one time year where I take a few moments to think about where I am and where I wanted to be.

So this last year has been interesting…

I’ve had health issues and pain; but I’ve learnt to become stronger and tolerate more pain and fight more illness…

I’ve taken on more work and that’s made me exhausted but that’s also taught me to value my time with family and friends more…

I’ve learnt to trust more and that’s made me happier on show days and allowed people to surprise me instead of me trying to control the outcome always!

I’ve learnt to say ‘yes’ more and done more than I should but have been happier then if I’d said ‘no’ and played it safe!

Am I exactly where i wanted to be in life?

Well, I’d like to believe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I learnt a long time ago that life doesn’t play by your rules… and you’re going to have to keep improvising if you’d like the song to keep playing… I’ve had a few off keys, been pitchy at a few points… but I’ve found a beat and I’m still playing- learning new instruments along the way but still playing and fine tuning my own original tune!

Thank you Lord for yet another birth day. Thank you for bringing me a life full of experience. Thank you for all the people- the cheats, the friends, the enemies and the lovers- they have each taught me so much. Thank you for the Drama. Thank you for the Love!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!