My Harshest Self

And with Multiple sclerosis , the mood swings for me are a bit intense. It doesn’t help that I’m a Gemini- Taurus cusp or that I have a steroid producing brain tumour or that I’m plain nuts… but I do seem to have really low lows. The plus is that I am logical enough to know it’s temporary and fixable. The minus is more often than not I’m not sure how to do that and get frustrated with myself for not knowing how to!

And then I think about the number of times we’ve had flaws pointed out in our Bffs by others and how fiercely we’ve stood by and protected them! They are not flaws, we insist; merely traits that make them more unique, more special and more loved.

What if we were to apply the same rules to ourselves?

So when we are meeting an indecisive client who doesn’t see the amount of effort it took us to create something special and we’re feeling low, instead of blaming ourselves for not realising that the work we’ve done won”t be immediately appreciated or faulting ourselves when the work out we’ve been killing ourselves with doesn’t give us the results we need today- we should love ourselves- much like the Bff who doesn’t always return calls or the one who is perennially late. We know that good things come to those who wait for them… why don’t we allow ourselves the same indulgence?

Why are we so mean to ourselves? Why do we give everyone around us a break except ourselves?

And it’s almost with pride that we say that ‘we are our harshest critic!’ Isn’t that sad? Shouldn’t we instead be our biggest fan? Cos if we were friends with ourselves , we’d actually think that we’re pretty darn amazing! Why shouldn’t we allow ourselves to be proud of who we are?

So I’m gonna start- I am absolutely nuts on one hand and supremely focused on the other- that makes me fabulous to hang out with, never short of conversation or gossip! I’m insanely driven and I’m fiercely protective and loyal. I am a fighter having fought MS and fighting it every day and that makes me pretty amazing! I would choose a friend with all of these qualities. So today and forever I choose me!

P.s.-: We have enough people in the world who’d like to pull us down…. there’s no point joining them. They don’t need the help!

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Happy Birthday to ME!

It’s that time of year again when I reminisce on the days gone by….on the months and years gone by…. and try and decide whether I did it right…. It’s BIRTH DAY time and the one time year where I take a few moments to think about where I am and where I wanted to be.

So this last year has been interesting…

I’ve had health issues and pain; but I’ve learnt to become stronger and tolerate more pain and fight more illness…

I’ve taken on more work and that’s made me exhausted but that’s also taught me to value my time with family and friends more…

I’ve learnt to trust more and that’s made me happier on show days and allowed people to surprise me instead of me trying to control the outcome always!

I’ve learnt to say ‘yes’ more and done more than I should but have been happier then if I’d said ‘no’ and played it safe!

Am I exactly where i wanted to be in life?

Well, I’d like to believe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I learnt a long time ago that life doesn’t play by your rules… and you’re going to have to keep improvising if you’d like the song to keep playing… I’ve had a few off keys, been pitchy at a few points… but I’ve found a beat and I’m still playing- learning new instruments along the way but still playing and fine tuning my own original tune!

Thank you Lord for yet another birth day. Thank you for bringing me a life full of experience. Thank you for all the people- the cheats, the friends, the enemies and the lovers- they have each taught me so much. Thank you for the Drama. Thank you for the Love!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

The Seven Year Itch!

So the husband and I just completed our seventh year of marriage and after every 3 congratulatory messages, the customary 7 year itch joke was then messaged/warned/joked about!

That got me down to thinking… the seven year itch is only popular because of the wildly popular Marilyn Monroe film of the same name which was popular because of the iconic dress-blowing image…! Seven years in actuality means nothing at all!

Some people can have the one day itch, the one year itch, the six-month itch, the ‘Oh no I might get married ‘ itch! The itch really has nothing to do with the passage of time but more to do with the person you are with!

Cheaters cheat!Abusers hit! And liars lie! To blame it on 7 years, or on the fact that monogamy is not natural or the ‘ I was drunk’ excuse is just that…. an Excuse!

There is a freedom in being single and dating…a sense of lightness and excitement in who you might meet and where life may take you. But there’s also fear of ending up alone, the worry of not finding someone who will understand/ respect / love you and a loneliness of coming back home to an empty home and an empty bed.

There’s routine in marriage. There are rules. There are expectations and demands. But there is also support, trust, love and faith. There is also the great joy of being able to curl up and watch television with someone you love in your night shorts and spectacles and for them to still think you are the most wonderful looking person in all the world. There is responsibility but there’s also a cheerleader by your side to support and give wings to your dreams,your ambitions, your life…!

It’s up to each one of us the choices we make but it’s impossible to have both.

In a world where marriages don’t make the first year hurdle and where cheating and infidelity has become the norm- the friendship, trust and faith that our parents’ marriages had is becoming rarer to see. You have to try to keep your marriage, fight to save your marriage, work every day to make your marriage work. If you are not ready to put in the time…. don’t get married and DON’T BE THE OTHER WOMAN/ MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP !

How did Aditya and I get to Number 7….

With lots of fights and even more tears,

With some heartaches and a couple of cheers;

With several losses and a few wins;

And with many prayers and fewer sins…

… here’s to a life time of arguments, fights, hugs and laughs….!

I love you Mr. Hitkari and there’ll be no 7/8/9/10………… itch….

And to all the friends who joked/ragged/messaged about it… I’m going to hunt you down and punch each one of you… :))))) so BEWARE!

The movie of your life! (Rules to Live By)

Rise and shine. It’s a new day. Smile. Walk. Run. Talk. Eat. Laugh. See. Do.

Don’t waste time on tears. Don’t waste time on fears. Life will happen regardless.

You may win. You will lose. You will love. You will hate. You may achieve but you must always try. Live the truth.

There will be days where you don’t want to get up. There will be days where you won’t want to sleep! There will be days that you’d love to forget and there will be those that you’ll remember every moment of.

Dream. If those dreams shatter and make some new dreams. There will be plans and they may not happen. Life has it’s own plans…It doesn’t need yours!

Save money. You will make money and you will lose money. You’ll be in debt and then you may have more than you need. Save.

Walk the road with your head held high. You may trip. You may even fall. But get up and keep walking because life is an adventure and though sometimes you are in the darkest tunnel remember there’s always a moment when you see the glorious hint of the sun!

Love. Fall in love. Rise in love. Give love. Demand love. It makes the journey of life worthwhile.

Don’t expect to love everyone and don’t expect everyone to love you.

Respect- give respect and be worthy of respect.

Inspire and be inspired! Don’t shut your mind to new experiences. Open your mind!

Eat the cupcake. Don’t spend your life on diet cause you will always see yourself as fat then! Don’t spend your life on food because you’ll miss out on other experiences then.

Have an opinion. Find one. Make one. Create one.

Laugh without a care.

Today is a great day because in the movie of your life-YOU ARE THE STAR!