The Doc’s appointment was not the easy, breezy, smooth sailing Friday evening I expected… Instead I was given a scary fact check and reminded that despite the fact that I take my illness (Multiple sclerosis) rather lightly, it is a serious illness and I will need to start taking more care of me.
And so I did, what else, but go out on Friday night and just had fun!
We celebrate all our wins and achievements but more often than not, we don’t celebrate sorrows or losses. I am not in the habit of celebrating just the wins… I learnt a long time ago that life happens when you least expect it and we might as well celebrate everything- the highs and the lows because it’s all part of the ride of life.
Much like a roller coaster where you are waiting for the high you get on the drop, you enjoy the anticipation of the climb as well – such is life. For every low, you will have a high… but just celebrating the highs make the lows seem lower and the highs seem higher and in my mind that doesn’t add up.
It seems easier to say than to put in practise but try this in your life once and you’ll find the bad day becomes a whole lot better… and I like better days , good days and great days…! I mean, who doesn’t.
P.s. (Palat says)-: A bad day is just a day… and tomorrow can always be bright , sunny and amazing. So if we focus on the happy… the happy focusses on us!
How many times do we know someone that or something is bad for us but we cling on to it persistently because of force of habit?
We know they’re wrong for us/ it makes us sad, unhappy, weak, angry… but we just don’t let it go…
And when we do let go…we mourn- as if we needed it, missed it ,wanted it. We mourn as if it was the best thing that happened to us when usually it was exactly the opposite! We cribbed the entire time and knew we were terribly fed up and disappointed in the situation but yet we don’t want to let it go.
Perhaps we’re suckers for punishment… or maybe we sympathise with those that torture us!
A friend in an impossible relationship was sticking on despite the relationship being totally toxic- he couldn’t let go. He left, it became hard , he went back- the cycle continued. He can’t escape or may be he doesn’t truly even want to. And the drama continues.
But to let go… to truly let go… is freeing. It’s amazing. It makes way for new opportunities, the joy of life and living again and complete freedom!
I used to make a lists of pros and cons and remind myself why moving on made sense but now I’ve found a new easier way- I allow myself to feel the loss- fully feel it, but for the day and after that I disconnect completely. I don’t allow myself to dwell or feel bad or get angry or allow the toxic person to have any emotion of mine because that would be energy I could rather use for something much more positive and I’d rather find people that would want that energy of mine and would be able to reciprocate!
This way I allow myself and the relationship the respect of fully feeling it; but also allow myself the respect of not sticking with something that drains me continuously. Just like they say, you can’t flog a dead horse, there’s absolutely no point mourning a toxic friendship/relationship.
Always remember you deserve happiness.
P.s. (Palat says)-: There are 7.7 billion people on this planet.You are going to find a few awful ones… but there are many many billion people left to meet!
So I was listening to the Sunscreen Song…a fave of mine whenever I’m down! And before you ask why….I am overtired and overworked and sometimes an instant pep up is in order…! The song got me thinking….I love relationships, love and dispensing advice ;-)…so maybe i should list out some of the things I’ve learnt so far…
- Love has got to make you smile…if there are more tears than cheers…you are in the wrong relationship!
- Women cry when they get hurt…men may not…that doesn’t mean what you say doesn’t hurt them!
- Dates are important…never let the woo-ing period ever end….even when the honeymoon does!
- Life is hard- cut yourself a break sometimes!
- Smile- even if you have nothing to smile about…just smile…it’s better than a caffeine pick up (and with my love for coffee if I’m saying that-it must be!)
- Whenever you’re going thru a bad day…there’s probably someone who’s going thru worse…so still count ur blessings!
- We’re all equally scared and doing things for the first time- women and men- it’s not that either sex is less scared; it’s just that certain people hide their worries a little better!
- Travel. See the world. Learn how amazing it is. The magnificence and largeness of the world makes you understand how you are just a small part of something incredible.
- You don’t know what someone else is going through… so give them a break if they seem unreasonable sometimes. You probably seem unreasonable to some people too!
- Celebrate everything- the wins, the losses and everything in between.
- Care for at least one person more than you care for yourself. And don’t expect that back. Just care – cos you do!
- It’s never too late to start over.It’s never too late to change career path, life, relationships, anything. Follow your heart.
- Believe. Even when it seems impossible- believe.
- You are younger today, than you will ever be- enjoy it.
- Find friends. Make friends. Be a friend.
- Say ‘I love you’ to those you love for absolutely no reason at all. It makes you both feel good.
- Any conversation you have could be the last you have with that person… so be careful with your words.
- Write your angry emails and then save them to drafts. Go back to them later, read them to somebody- and only then send them.
- Show up or don’t be there…. Don’t just turn up. Give something your full focus else don’t be there…
- You are much more beautiful / handsome than you think you are!
P.s. (Palat says)-: I am trying to focus on a few of these this week… will let you know how it goes. And yuppp I did tone down the angry email before I sent it !
So the last few days I have been thinking about so many things…top of the list– achievements and what do they mean? What is an achievement ? Does the finish line keep going further and further away … or at one point do you look back and say… “I did that!”
Is the joy in the journey of the achievement or is their joy in the actual action of it? And must we look at the different levels as we achieve them and cross them and savour those moments too…
When chatting with a group of fabulous achievers, we got to sharing war stories… What we’d done, how we’d done it and what the journey taught us… It was when reminiscing, I was so proud to be able to look back and some of the things in my rear view mirror and just enjoy the accomplishment! I realised more often than not, we move from target to target; goal to goal- we never really savour the feeling of having reached somewhere. I also learned that in all the madness and the drama of the continuous need to achieve , may be it isn’t so bad to stop and be proud of how far we’ve come and what we’ve done!
I’ll keep on aiming for new heights, keep on traveling through uncharted territories, keep on pushing myself to be more, do more, seek more- but through this conversation, I was proud to have felt that some of my goals, had been crossed, achieved and crushed! And I made it! Not all of it! But some things have been achieved and I did it! Yay me!
I have been blessed over the last few years to have been able to eliminate the majority of the negative people in my life which has allowed more space for new, fabulous and positive people in…
These people inspire me to think every day. They inspire me to be better, do more, feel more and achieve more.
But every so often you’re given a blast from the past and are witness to some of the negative people you let go of and you are reminded about why they aren’t with you anymore. These are the people who will lie about you, will try and walk on top of you just to achieve some sense of achievement. And it makes me proud.
Proud that I left them.Proud that I did good.
I am without you for a reason.
I am sorry I still figure in your conversations. And you need to spin it, to make your self the winner…!
I don’t need to spin anything any more.
I am surrounded by winners. I am surrounded by heroes. I am surrounded by people so incredible…I become a little more fabulous each day. I am surrounded by superstars and I don’t take anything away from them to make me feel better about my life cos it’s pretty perfect … especially now that you’re not in it! (sorry couldn’t risk the childish dig!)
In a world where we consistently look outside for our happiness, our love, our security and even our stress… it was a wonderful realisation that I came to when I realised I had complete control of how I made myself feel.
I could feel successful, happy and a winner or feel stressed, worried and always on the short end of the stick… the choice was ALWAYS, and I capitalise this to stress the importance- MINE!
With this new found knowledge I have come to realise that God , the Universe…whatever you may call it… is just a bundle of things trying to make me feel exactly the way I want to feel… so when I say…”Oh I’m so stressed!”… it gives me stress… On the other hand when I say “I’m going to walk out a winner!”… I do.
Yup… it’s just that easy…
Don’t believe me… I mean why would you!? Then try something fun today…
Take 5 minutes and put the positive in to everything you do…
- Instead of “I wish the client would…” …Say “The client will…”
- Instead of saying “I’m so tired” …Treat yourself to something nice…
Just 5 minutes and watch the entire day turn around…
…now imagine you’d tried this in the morning…:)!
…no worries… it’s never too late to start! I just did!
So it’s that time of year when Resolutions have been made and more than a few have been already broken…The year has started and we’re in a ‘Same %&## , different year’ mood…!
But before you give up hope and start counting the 50 odd weeks left for the next new year…I thought of some Resolutions that you should make, can keep and will make you feel pretty good about it!
Resolutions for myself
- I will look after me. I will love me. I will pamper me. Because I love and wish to look after myself I will try and eat better so I can spend more time looking after me. I will not punish myself if I mess up on a day or two because I love me and I am making a resolution to look after myself- not by punishment but with love and faith.
- I will do one thing every day that makes me happy. Life is too short to go thru it in a rut and then suddenly find that you are too old to enjoy all of the things you should have enjoyed when you were younger. So everyday… even I start talking to a friend that I haven’t spoken to in years or meeting someone over coffee… I will do something that makes me happy!
- Spend more time with those I love. It’s special to love and to be loved. it’s important to recognise that and not take it all for granted so I will make sure I spend time with those I love and let them spend time loving, fretting and looking after me. A loved soul makes for a happy soul!
Resolutions for work
- I will challenge myself. I understand that I may be happy with how well things are going… but I will set new targets and will aim to achieve them. I will not be hard on myself if every thing doesn’t automatically fall in to place… but I will never stop dreaming and never stop trying.
- I have a dream and I will keep at it. I had dreams when I was younger of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do…I will start dreaming all over again and make those dreams come true… slowly, steadily but surely!
- I will stop work. A 20 hour day doesn’t make me more efficient than a person who can achieve the same in fewer hours. I will set goals for myself that are reasonable and then as I complete them I will stop. Sometimes a break can help you work more effectively. I will work smarter not longer!
These were just some basics that are almost #NoFailResolutions. They are easy, possible, thought provoking and can be expanded upon! And most of all… you can’t break them…
I’m making my 2014 about ME. You should make it about you too!