What I’ve learnt so far…(love, relationships,women and men!)

So I was listening to the Sunscreen Song…a fave of mine whenever I’m down! And before you ask why….I am overtired and overworked and sometimes an instant pep up is in order…! The song got me thinking….I love relationships, love and dispensing advice ;-)…so maybe i should list out some of the things I’ve learnt so far…

  1. Love has got to make you smile…if there are more tears than cheers…you are in the wrong relationship!
  2. Women cry when they get hurt…men may not…that doesn’t mean what you say doesn’t hurt them!
  3. Dates are important…never let the woo-ing period ever end….even when the honeymoon does!
  4. Life is hard- cut yourself a break sometimes!
  5. Smile- even if you have nothing to smile about…just smile…it’s better than a caffeine pick up (and with my love for coffee if I’m saying that-it must be!)
  6. Whenever you’re going thru a bad day…there’s probably someone who’s going thru worse…so still count ur blessings!
  7. We’re all equally scared and doing things for the first time- women and men- it’s not that either sex is less scared; it’s just that certain people hide their worries a little better!
  8. Travel. See the world. Learn how amazing it is. The magnificence and largeness of the world makes you understand how you are just a small part of something incredible.
  9. You don’t know what someone else is going through… so give them a break if they seem unreasonable sometimes. You probably seem unreasonable to some people too!
  10.  Celebrate everything- the wins, the losses and everything in between.
  11. Care for at least one person more than you care for yourself. And don’t expect that back. Just care – cos you do!
  12. It’s never too late to start over.It’s never too late to change career path, life, relationships, anything. Follow your heart.
  13. Believe. Even when it seems impossible- believe.
  14. You are younger today, than you will ever be- enjoy it.
  15. Find friends. Make friends. Be a friend.
  16. Say ‘I love you’ to those you love for absolutely no reason at all. It makes you both feel good.
  17. Any conversation you have could be the last you have with that person… so be careful with your words.
  18. Write your angry emails and then save them to drafts. Go back to them later, read them to somebody- and only then send them.
  19. Show up or don’t be there…. Don’t just turn up. Give something your full focus else don’t be there…
  20. You are much more beautiful / handsome than you think you are!

P.s. (Palat says)-: I am trying to focus on a few of these this week… will let you know how it goes. And yuppp I did tone down the angry email before I sent it !

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Achievements

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So the last few days I have been thinking about so many things…top of the list– achievements and what do they mean? What is an achievement ? Does the finish line keep going further and further away … or at one point do you look back and say… “I did that!”

Is the joy in the journey of the achievement or is their joy in the actual action of it? And must we look at the different levels as we achieve them and cross them and savour those moments too…

When chatting with a group of fabulous achievers, we got to sharing war stories… What we’d done, how we’d done it and what the journey taught us… It was when reminiscing, I was so proud to be able to look back and some of the things in my rear view mirror and just enjoy the accomplishment! I realised more often than not, we move from target to target; goal to goal- we never really savour the feeling of having reached somewhere. I also learned that in all the madness and the drama of the continuous need to achieve , may be it isn’t so bad to stop and be proud of how far we’ve come and what we’ve done!

I’ll keep on aiming for new heights, keep on traveling through uncharted territories, keep on pushing myself to be more, do more, seek more- but through this conversation, I was proud to have felt that some of my goals, had been crossed, achieved and crushed! And I made it! Not all of it! But some things have been achieved and I did it! Yay me!

To all the liars out there…

I have been blessed over the last few years to have been able to eliminate the majority of the negative people in my life which has allowed more space for new, fabulous and positive people in…

These people inspire me to think every day. They inspire me to be better, do more, feel more and achieve more.

But every so often you’re given a blast from the past and are witness to some of the negative people you let go of and you are reminded about why they aren’t with you anymore. These are the people who will lie about you, will try and walk on top of you just to achieve some sense of achievement. And it makes me proud.

Proud that I left them.Proud that I did good.

I am without you for a reason.

I am sorry I still figure in your conversations. And you need to spin it, to make your self the  winner…!

I don’t need to spin anything any more.

I am surrounded by winners. I am surrounded by heroes. I am surrounded by people so incredible…I become a little more fabulous each day. I am surrounded by superstars and I don’t take anything away from them to make me feel better about my life cos it’s pretty perfect … especially now that you’re not in it! (sorry couldn’t risk the childish dig!)

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I make my own happy.

In a world where we consistently look outside for our happiness, our love, our security and even our stress… it was a wonderful realisation that I came to when I realised I had complete control of how I made myself feel.

I could feel successful, happy and a winner or feel stressed, worried and always on the short end of the stick… the choice was ALWAYS, and I capitalise this to stress the importance- MINE!

With this new found knowledge I have come to realise that God , the Universe…whatever you may call it… is just a bundle of things trying to make me feel exactly the way I want to feel… so when I say…”Oh I’m so stressed!”… it gives me stress… On the other hand when I say “I’m going to walk out a winner!”… I do.

Yup… it’s just that easy…

Don’t believe me… I mean why would you!? Then try something fun today…

Take 5 minutes and put the positive in to everything you do…

  • Instead of “I wish the client would…” …Say “The client will…”
  • Instead of saying “I’m so tired” …Treat yourself to something nice…

Just 5 minutes and watch the entire day turn around…

…now imagine you’d tried this in the morning…:)!

…no worries… it’s never too late to start! I just did!

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#NoFailResolutions

So it’s that time of year when Resolutions have been made and more than a few have been already broken…The year has started and we’re in a ‘Same %&## , different year’ mood…!

But before you give up hope and start counting the 50 odd weeks left for the next new year…I thought of some Resolutions that you should make, can keep and will make you feel pretty good about it!

Resolutions for myself

  1. I will look after me. I will love me. I will pamper me. Because I love and wish to look after myself I will try and eat better so I can spend more time looking after me. I will not punish myself if I mess up on a day or two because I love me and I am making a resolution to look after myself- not by punishment but with love and faith.
  2. I will do one thing every day that makes me happy.  Life is too short to go thru it in a rut and then suddenly find that you are too old to enjoy all of the things you should have enjoyed when you were younger. So everyday… even I start talking to a friend that I haven’t spoken to in years or meeting someone over coffee… I will do something that makes me happy!
  3. Spend more time with those I love.  It’s special to love and to be loved. it’s important to recognise that and not take it all for granted so I will make sure I spend time with those I love and let them spend time loving, fretting and looking after me. A loved soul makes for a happy soul!

Resolutions for work

  1. I will challenge myself. I understand that I may be happy with how well things are going… but I will set new targets and will aim to achieve them. I will not be hard on myself if every thing doesn’t automatically fall in to place… but I will never stop dreaming and never stop trying.
  2. I have a dream and I will keep at it. I had dreams when I was younger of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do…I will start dreaming all over again and make those dreams come true… slowly, steadily but surely!
  3. I will stop work.  A 20 hour day doesn’t make me more efficient than a person who can achieve the same in fewer hours. I will set goals for myself that are reasonable and then as I complete them I will stop. Sometimes a break can help you work more effectively.  I will work smarter not longer!

These were just some basics that are almost #NoFailResolutions. They are easy, possible, thought provoking and can be expanded upon! And most of all… you can’t break them…

I’m making my 2014 about ME. You should make it about you too!

 

Happy Birthday Aditya! Thank you for being mine :)

divya aditya-pangkor laut

Happy Birthday to my my husband, my life partner and most importantly to my best friend!

Aditya and I met years ago (he remembers the exact date) during the only Malhar Festival I participated in… He can tell you what I wore and where we were standing…I can only tell you that he was gorgeous then and even more handsome now! Aditya is everything I’m not- he’s polite, balanced, relatively calm and composed and well just all ’round a really nice guy!

Over our years of friendship and now marriage, I have met so many people who have known him from school, college or football and the one thing they all seem to have in common…is that they like him very much and respect him.

I love that. It’s wonderful to think that you have an amazing man by your side….but when so many others say the same… it just makes me beam with pride.

Everyone who knows us knows that Aditya proposed to me when I was in hospital, just diagnosed with ADEM. With left side paralysis, an incurable disease and on steroids – I was the last person you’d expect to be making marriage plans with. But Aditya saw what I didn’t see….he saw promise, he saw hope, he saw me and with his eyes I learnt to see me the way he did! He’s the best person in a crisis, the calmest person in the hospital and an absolute pillar of strength during any ill health (tho like my friend Michael says…”With you and your health, he has no option but to be calm!”)

Thank you Aditya. You are my favourite person to talk to, fight with, argue with,chat with, watch movies with, gossip with,watch TV show marathons with and do plays with!

You’re still the person who chooses my favourite pair of shoes; who fixes my belt on my jeans (yes Gaurav I’ve put that in…cos he does ;)), who loves me exactly the way I am- loud, a touch too honest,highly emotional and always stressed. You never asked me to change and seem to enjoy my erratic craziness.

You’ve taught me the value of a great friendship, the fun in a good debate and that we don’t need a million people around us to have the best time- we just need each other (and Cookie :))!

Sorry for all the times you were right… but you let me win any way… because I am NEVER WRONG :)!  (Since this apology only comes once a year…on the birthday…you might as well take it!)!

Thank you for being the best thing in my life ( yup you are better then a cup of coffee for me (for those who know me…that’s a very high compliment)).

I love you.

Aditya Hitkari. Express photo by Prashant Nadkar, Mumbai. 05/07/2006

p.s.- had to include you with pictures of your 2 girls… cos well both of us (cookie included) wanted to be a part of your birthday post 🙂

Happy Birthday to ME!

It’s that time of year again when I reminisce on the days gone by….on the months and years gone by…. and try and decide whether I did it right…. It’s BIRTH DAY time and the one time year where I take a few moments to think about where I am and where I wanted to be.

So this last year has been interesting…

I’ve had health issues and pain; but I’ve learnt to become stronger and tolerate more pain and fight more illness…

I’ve taken on more work and that’s made me exhausted but that’s also taught me to value my time with family and friends more…

I’ve learnt to trust more and that’s made me happier on show days and allowed people to surprise me instead of me trying to control the outcome always!

I’ve learnt to say ‘yes’ more and done more than I should but have been happier then if I’d said ‘no’ and played it safe!

Am I exactly where i wanted to be in life?

Well, I’d like to believe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I learnt a long time ago that life doesn’t play by your rules… and you’re going to have to keep improvising if you’d like the song to keep playing… I’ve had a few off keys, been pitchy at a few points… but I’ve found a beat and I’m still playing- learning new instruments along the way but still playing and fine tuning my own original tune!

Thank you Lord for yet another birth day. Thank you for bringing me a life full of experience. Thank you for all the people- the cheats, the friends, the enemies and the lovers- they have each taught me so much. Thank you for the Drama. Thank you for the Love!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!