What I’ve learnt so far…(love, relationships,women and men!)

So I was listening to the Sunscreen Song…a fave of mine whenever I’m down! And before you ask why….I am overtired and overworked and sometimes an instant pep up is in order…! The song got me thinking….I love relationships, love and dispensing advice ;-)…so maybe i should list out some of the things I’ve learnt so far…

  1. Love has got to make you smile…if there are more tears than cheers…you are in the wrong relationship!
  2. Women cry when they get hurt…men may not…that doesn’t mean what you say doesn’t hurt them!
  3. Dates are important…never let the woo-ing period ever end….even when the honeymoon does!
  4. Life is hard- cut yourself a break sometimes!
  5. Smile- even if you have nothing to smile about…just smile…it’s better than a caffeine pick up (and with my love for coffee if I’m saying that-it must be!)
  6. Whenever you’re going thru a bad day…there’s probably someone who’s going thru worse…so still count ur blessings!
  7. We’re all equally scared and doing things for the first time- women and men- it’s not that either sex is less scared; it’s just that certain people hide their worries a little better!
  8. Travel. See the world. Learn how amazing it is. The magnificence and largeness of the world makes you understand how you are just a small part of something incredible.
  9. You don’t know what someone else is going through… so give them a break if they seem unreasonable sometimes. You probably seem unreasonable to some people too!
  10.  Celebrate everything- the wins, the losses and everything in between.
  11. Care for at least one person more than you care for yourself. And don’t expect that back. Just care – cos you do!
  12. It’s never too late to start over.It’s never too late to change career path, life, relationships, anything. Follow your heart.
  13. Believe. Even when it seems impossible- believe.
  14. You are younger today, than you will ever be- enjoy it.
  15. Find friends. Make friends. Be a friend.
  16. Say ‘I love you’ to those you love for absolutely no reason at all. It makes you both feel good.
  17. Any conversation you have could be the last you have with that person… so be careful with your words.
  18. Write your angry emails and then save them to drafts. Go back to them later, read them to somebody- and only then send them.
  19. Show up or don’t be there…. Don’t just turn up. Give something your full focus else don’t be there…
  20. You are much more beautiful / handsome than you think you are!

P.s. (Palat says)-: I am trying to focus on a few of these this week… will let you know how it goes. And yuppp I did tone down the angry email before I sent it !

Advertisements

We’re all still teenagers trying to grow up!

We’re all just teenagers trying to grow up… We’ve aged a bit, got a couple of grey strands or may be more. We’re married/ settled/ seeing someone/ broken it off/ still single! We have jobs and cars. We pay mortgages, pay off loans, go in and out of debt! We’re old enough to drink and vote and sometimes can’t figure out whether the drink or the politician is the lesser of two evils! We have our own money, make up our own minds(most of the time), have a job, a life… and yet we’re still teenagers trying to grow up!

We’re as insecure but we mask it better. We’re as scared but we’ve learnt to pretend to be confident. We’re as alone but we’ve learnt to surround ourselves with pretty things, fancy gadgets and fast cars and maybe even a trophy wife/husband/girl friend but we still hide our fears, our worries , our personal failings…

But teenagers are given a break. They are allowed to be irrational because- “well they are teens!” They are allowed to break down, cry, scream, yell, slam doors and all is forgotten and forgiven as they are young and going through life changes…!

Well give yourself a break… Life changes all the time and whereas we may be a little older and not a lot wiser- life is still changing for all of us! And it’s okay to want to bang doors sometimes, or yell at the top of your voice because you’re so mad, or just cry! It’s okay to feel scared,insecure and unsure…even when you’re supposed to know everything and every one and supposed to have it all under control- it’s okay to ask for help! I figure ‘Life’ as this person- wise, older, smarter than us and well…OLDER!(Yes I know I said that- I’m repeating…for effect!) so that being said… you’re always teenager in the eyes of ‘Life’… It has more experience and you are allowed to give yourself a break sometimes and stop being so hard on yourself! It’s all the fun of growing up !

So the next time you make a mistake…take a breath! There’ll be plenty more mistakes and plenty more heartaches but there’ll also be plenty more firsts and there are several more first times left…!

It’s okay not to be sure of where you’re going or who you want to be…that’s the fun of life… you can keep finding new things about yourself, find new talents, make new habits- it keeps you alive and keeps the excitement going!

Enjoy the adventure and NEVER GROW UP!

Take a Chance on Change!

To start over…something must end. To say hello… sometimes we have to say goodbye.To laugh again…sometimes we need to have cried!

Divya Palat 

It’s so hard when things are over when we just keep holding on! I realised this when I produced my first set of shows and the run was complete and as everyone was about to go on stage , I was bawling in the bathroom not willing to let go. Since then ,it’s been 10 years and it’s still hard; but the public display of tears has significantly reduced and I’m learning to let go of incredible shows, amazing experiences and new found family to make way for even more incredible moments!

A lot of my girl friends are the same with relationships. Trapped with bad boyfriends, terrible husbands, abusive relationships- they aren’t even having a great time- but they’re scared of letting go- what if there’s nothing amazing in store for them next? What if this is as good as it gets? A friend of mine stayed with his cheating boy friend just because she was too afraid to actually go out and find someone again. “It’s too hard,” she told me ..”to start over!”

But even if we’re unwilling to change, scared to let go and holding on with all we’ve got- Life is way faster, smarter and trickier than all of us! Sometimes despite all our ‘clingy’ efforts , we’re going to have to change, have to let go, have to start over! And maybe the new is scary but may be it’s what we needed all along.

A perfect planner, I hated to lose control till I got sick and then paralysed and then suddenly had to allow nurses, doctors and family control of my choices, my life, my body! Suddenly in a moment, all that I was clinging to- my ridiculous plans, my naive thoughts on my career progress and my life ambitions had to be re-thought, re assessed and restarted overnight! And when you stop fearing the future and embrace the change then suddenly Life is an adventure and you can be part of an incredible journey. Had I resisted change, Balancing Act Productions (my company) would not be in it’s tenth year , I would not be married to my soulmate and best friend, and I’d never have walked again.

Sometimes Change makes all the right choices you were just too scared to make! Sometimes Change gets it right!

Trust!