Toxic Relationships

How many times do we know someone that or something is bad for us but we cling on to it persistently because of force of habit?

We know they’re wrong for us/ it makes us sad, unhappy, weak, angry… but we just don’t let it go…

And when we do let go…we mourn- as if we needed it, missed it ,wanted it. We mourn as if it was the best thing that happened to us when usually it was exactly the opposite! We cribbed the entire time and knew we were terribly fed up and disappointed in the situation but yet we don’t want to let it go.

Perhaps we’re suckers for punishment… or maybe we sympathise with those that torture us!

A friend in an impossible relationship was sticking on despite the relationship being totally toxic- he couldn’t let go. He left, it became hard , he went back- the cycle continued. He can’t escape or may be he doesn’t truly even want to. And the drama continues.

But to let go… to truly let go… is freeing. It’s amazing. It makes way for new opportunities, the joy of life and living again and complete freedom!

I used to make a lists of pros and cons and remind myself why moving on made sense but now I’ve found a new easier way- I allow myself to feel the loss- fully feel it, but for the day and after that I disconnect completely. I don’t allow myself to dwell or feel bad or get angry or allow the toxic person to have any emotion of mine because that would be energy I could rather use for something much more positive and I’d rather find people that would want that energy of mine and would be able to reciprocate!

This way I allow myself and the relationship the respect of fully feeling it; but also allow myself the respect of not sticking with something that drains me continuously. Just like they say, you can’t flog a dead horse, there’s absolutely no point mourning a toxic friendship/relationship.

Always remember you deserve happiness.

P.s. (Palat says)-: There are 7.7 billion people on this planet.You are going to find a few awful ones… but there are many many billion people left to meet!

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The most creative you can be is when you stop over-thinking it!

More blogs, more script ideas, more show thoughts and it’s been just a few days away from the rat race!

Sometimes a little distance does a lot of good..I am back tomorrow with more energy and enthusiasm and more ideas! Am gonna try and let the rat race NOT suck it out of me again!

Work starts on the finished script as I return! Yay to new beginnings!

Also signed up for some online courses for classes I never got the chance to take while in college!!!! So new classes starting soon……double YAY!!

Time travails!

So we each run around talking about how we don’t have time. we don’t have time for this or that….and that we wish we had more hours in a day….but do we actually make PRODUCTIVE use of that time…???

an actor with a day job i was speaking to once told me after a rehearsal that his job with a well known tv channel was really not that challenging… he came in by 10. 10- 10:30 he had breakfast with a co-worked either at his desk or at the co-workers desk. and then he went back to work, where he logs in to gmail chat…finishes his work in an hour and chats online the rest of the time or better still facebook’s! then it’s lunch and he and his group usually take a long lunch from 1- 2:30, after which it’s an hours work and then off to tea from 3:30-4:30 and they pack up by about 5:30 ish…

Productively he has 2 hrs of work…the rest of the day the company seems to just want seat-warmers!

that’s the one thing i learnt at stanford…it didn’t matter how much time u spent at the books…what mattered was what you gave in….results mattered….it didn’t matter whether you could absorb what you read in an hour and party the entire weekend , starting friday morning…it mattered what you gave in at the next class.

companies lay too much importance on desk sitting and less importance on actual competence! my friend at stanford finished his entire under-graduation a year early–where did he find time, with his excess partying and trillion extra-curricular activities…i don’t know…but i do know that he was valued on his work and results an not how much time he sat looking at books! sitting for 8 hrs at your desk does not make you productive, finishing deadlines, completing tasks- that does!

google and so many other software companies in palo alto have chilling rooms where employees can play ps3 , bounce basket balls ..even go for a swim-DURING THE WORK DAY to INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY!!! there is even a software giant who has a sleep room for a quick afternoon siesta!

PRODUCTIVITY is about making optimal use of your energies …

think about it….

walk into an office and you’ll see 9/10 employees on social networking sites. that’s great- they need the downtime! but wouldn’t it be better if you worked with them basis deadlines and not basis 9-5 p.m.!that way maybe you’ll even end up saving on electricity bills and have a happier group of co-workers….

so today….just start setting personal deadlines for you and those in your team (WORKABLE personal deadlines) and then let them be adults and make them deliver on their deadline… surprisingly ,like what happens in palo alto software companies a lot of employees because of the time freedom they get end up working a lot later and a lot harder….so its win-win!