The Relationship Saga

And in a world more connected than ever, most people find themselves more disconnected than they have ever been. We can connect on WhatsApp, Social media, the phone- all the time and yet in this fast paced world though we’re always seeming to be connected we’re often more alone than we have ever been.

This was the discussion a girl friend of mine and I had for more than a few hours this week. And it wasn’t even the first time I had heard this complaint. It was far too often, from far too many people for this to be a coincidence.

Connection requires work. Connection requires commitment and Connection requires both parties to keep at it!

And when I felt the same way a few years ago.. I set out to make a Commitment Cheat Sheet… to help me keep and nurture relationships that meant something to me…

So here’s a peak-:

  1. Make a list of just the closest friends (CFs) you’d like to have in you life and make sure you call or meet them once every 2 weeks at least.
  2. Do Date night. Even if you’ve been with your husband for tons of years…date him, reconnect. The only thing constant is change- so both of you will keep changing. Get to know the new him.
  3. Be social. Get out at least once a week with one set of your CFs so you can do a face to face reconnect.
  4. Laugh more. Play games rather than watch TV. Connect, talk and have fun with your friends. TV is a wonderful medium for stories but real stories happen only when you actually participate in them. Be a part of your own life story not a spectator.
  5. Put a schedule together which forces you to challenge yourself to connect. Make it a routine, till it becomes a habit.
  6. Find common hobbies/ activities. I hate the morning walk… or actually hate getting up at 5 am… but the plus is I get a leisurely coffee chat with the uncrabby husband (he’s a morning sparrow, I am not) and a walk where we find tons of puppies and lots to chat about.
  7. Be present. Your CFs have something major happening in their life/ they aren’t well- check up, be present- care.
  8. Don’t look at your phone during dinners/ events. Respect the person/people you are with.
  9. Give yourself a break. All relationships change. Some change so much they become unrecognisable. Try as hard as you can, but remember sometime you need to let go. Reward yourself when you try. Don’t berate yourself.

Relationships are hard and connections even harder. In a world of a few billion- you just need a handful of connections but even those take work. Remember, it may look easy from watching a good relationship but both people work very hard with many off days to make that work. Instagram and Facebook stories are just that- stories. They are not reality.

P.s. (Palat says)-: At the end of the day, all the fame and money make for comfortable beds and homes but homes are only homes when you can fill them with people you love.

Advertisements

#MoreThanALabel

Since I did my first professional play at 15, I got used to (well not used to…but got a taste of) criticism and labelling… Theatre was my salvation. It allowed me the freedom to be all that I wanted to be but come Monday morning, I had to return to reality and school and the label of being a #nerd #boring #bookish (all of which were said derogatorily , which I still don’t understand) and #ugly ! But those were simpler times. In school you are often labeled or bullied and that helps create strength of character, build your confidence and give you the strength to face the world… and so I did.

Shooting a reality show recently #SketchtoStore …I found everyone dreaming of becoming a label and thats when it struck me- today is a world of labels. Most of those labels are created with silly hashtags and are tweeted, instagrammed and facebooked…. and most of them are not positive… they are downright mean! In a world of labels does being a label mean so much when we can now make any word/ set of words a label with just a simple hashtag. Also, wasn’t I lucky I grew up at a time when calling me a name, didn’t allow you to tweet it or post it on my wall.

In the public eye there is never a day where I can please everyone… I am #DragonPalat (yup this was tweeted), #fat to others #sick to some (because of the MS) a #celebrity (said in a negative way) to a third. To the trolls I answered, to the ready-to-be-converted I tried my best to convert you to be my friend… But in a world of #labels , I found my self terrified…I am unapproachable to most, terrifying to some… but to those who get to know me or just even say hello… I’m actually funny, interesting, silly, smart and fiercely loyal.

Unfortunately the polite words never make for good hashtags :)! So the next time you’d like to #label someone… meet them instead. I have found that people are so much more than their labels… and it’s always a fabulous revelation!

 

more_label1

Taking back my strength

The Jury Ad HT Mon 27

It’s play time again for me with The Jury launching this Friday and whereas the word ‘play’ is rather misleading – this is probably the time of maximum stress for me, least fun and no time! Theatre is however an absolute addiction for me… else there would be no possible reason for me to almost cause ulcers every single year!

However this year I learnt something very important- if I allow your worries and your inadequacies or stresses to become my own, then  I lost my strength. The greatest strength each one of us has is self-belief and that self belief comes easier to some than others. However when you are weaker, more tired and more stressed ; it is then the vultures can get to you- the ones that make you weaker, sadder,smaller and less believing in yourself. It’s then when the real ulcers get to grow, when sleep fades and when happiness seems but a very distant memory.

So stop!

Remember when you are tired, you will be stressed. When you are stressed, other people’s fears can take over and become yours.

Don’t.

You are strong. And once you get a good night’s sleep – you will be strong again. Work out the stress. Is it your worry or is somebody dumping their worries on you?

And when you take two minutes to just look after you… you’ll get a great sleep finally.

I did.

Good morning!

This is the week my fabulous show- The Jury  launches! Buy tickets now at Bookmyshow and come back stage and say hi!

Koh samuing!

 

As you know (if you’ve read any of these blogs or any of my personal blogs at my website…BIRTHDAYS ARE A BIG DEAL!

I seem to be planning from one birthday to the next and over the years , the planning has become more focussed towards experiences and travels as opposed to gifts and cake- a much more expensive albeit satisfying change!

So last year, the husband decided to surprise me. I am almost impossible to surprise especially over birthdays because my birthday antenna quickly notices any whispering, hush-hush planning or slight change in schedules but Aditya had convinced me that we were going to have a quiet, family birthday and later there’d be a surprise. Now I have to say I think my antenna was slightly less active because he had mentioned key words like ‘birthday’ and ‘surprise’ so I knew there was something planned and I expected it later…by then I was sure I’d know what it was!

Imagine my surprise when 2 days before my birthday I was told at lunch that we’d have to hurry back to pack. We were leaving tonight to THAILAND and to Koh Samui!To get Koh samui we took a flight to Bangkok and then connected to the island. I have to say , now after flying Thai Airways on multiple occasions- whereas the flights to an from India (Business Class) are rather old and quite uncomfortable; the short flight to Koh samui had fully reclinable seats, fabulous movie options and delicious food. I have now stopped flying Thai (unless ofcourse I’m visiting an island!)!

So in less then 24 hours of my knowing about the surprise, bright and early the following morning I was in Koh Samui. We were staying at the W Retreat, part of the Starwood Group of Hotels and a Category 6 on the SPG Scale! This is one of the highest categories of SPG Hotels and it was supposed to be indulgent luxury. Young, fun and decadent, this hotel was the perfect choice for this quick getaway.

The hotel was a 10 minute drive from the small airport and we entered the hotel excitedly. Though most hotels have wonderful web pages with photographs photoshopped to perfection- nothing can beat this magnificent lobby with it’s gorgeous water body claiming pride of place welcoming you to serenity, luxury and calm! With such a wonderful welcome , I couldn’t wait to see the rooms. Our suite was huge(yes I love my pampering) with a magnificent bathroom, jacuzzi tub et all!We also had a beautiful pool attached which was much, much larger than the usual plunge pools. All this and a private sit out , actually sleep out and we had our own private entrance to the beach!

The rooms were perfect and after an overnight flight, we collapsed on to our day beds for a quick power nap so we’d be ready to bring in the birthday with a renewed energy!

The W is fabulous. Once we woke up and made ourselves a nespresso cappucino (my favourite! and in our room!), we wandered for a walk. The staff then pointed us to the just refilled snack freezer which apparently all W hotels have. They’d just filled in some chocolate ice cream and told us it was fabulous! This is how we discovered the W treat freezer. With cokes and ice creams, there are treat freezers , every few rooms for guests to snack on free of charge any time, all the time- another fun W tradition!

And it was time to enjoy some quick Tapas and drinks at sip and take a quick, much needed plunge in the sea!

A short break later, we dressed up for birthday eve and headed to the W lounge where you are ensconced in tables in between the beautiful lobby pool that we saw earlier. Hidden away in between water and the night, this perfect setting was the most beautiful way to bring in my birthday. Cocktails done we headed to the Kitchen Table for some food. The W only has two dining options but 3 bars…so the focus is more on light eats and tapas and some very heady cocktails!

Exhausted we headed back to the room where a cake was waiting to be cut…. Singing and champagne later we settled in for a very restful night after all the heady travel excitement!

The next day we woke up refreshed and charged.We were only here for the birthday and so we decided to enjoy the calm and luxury of the hotel! I would have loved to have visited the Big Buddha but with such a short trip, we decided to spend our time snorkeling,  If you do visit the Big Buddha, you must also go to Wat Plai Laem another active temple surrounded by a lake which is apparently teeming with fish. If you make a donation, you get a bag of food to feed the fish!

Dress conservatively if you wish to visit a temple to not offend tradition and religious customs!

Else step out of your hotel and there are bars and pubs every step of the way… for a night of partying and revelry- nothing beats an island!

For us however it was spa-ing, pampering and a feast of contemporary Japanese at the elegant Namu. With a private dining hall just for us and a specially created menu by the chef and my husband we had a warm , relaxed evening- the perfect start to an incredibly fulfilling year!

Price Factor-: Rooms are between $200- $300! But choose well…remember to get beach front hotels and my sincere recommendation is to try the W!

Best Times To Travel-: March to August. Then remember to take your diving gear along. Koh samui has some incredible diving sites….if you’re not a diver….maybe Koh Samui is a good place to learn! 🙂

 

 

love bytes!

so it’s the month of cupid and love is in the air…atlas for those of us who still believe in hearts and fairytale romances and ‘the bachelor’ …( which to be honest i’ve almost lost faith in…considering the 2 God awful reruns on star world recently!) BUT…anyway I still love love! I love romance . I love candles and orchids and teddy bears and mush and so it would make sense that i would write a play about romance called ‘let’s talk about love!’ the play is about 3 couples in different stages of love relationships and 1 single guy searching for ‘true’ love!

the play premiered to a full kala ghoda festival and the crowds love it so much…i decided to finish the play and write what happened next….

the result- LOVE BYTES! which plays on the 13th of february at the ngma at 6:30 p.m.!

talking too much about the play…well its about love…it makes sense and well i love love!

i’ve never been the kind of girl who hid roses from people who liked me or threw away cards from those who cared,

i loved when people bared their hearts…i love when men dared,

in a world of sadness and a world of hate,

if we took time for love, took time to appreciate,

the power of beauty , the joy of life,

i think we’d have a world , with less anger, less strife,

if we celebrate the power of love, even if just for one day,

it’ll brighten up a world so full of grey!

i love love, i always have and i always will,

i love hearts and rainbows and flowers on my window sill,

i love that when you say you love me and me heart still skips a beat,

i love that special rush i get whenever we still meet,

i love that love gets simpler as it strengthens day by day,

like a part of your body true love comes to stay.

so even though valentines days may be cliched and old for you,

it gives me a chance to celebrate my love and to say…’i still do !’

….to all the people i love ! (cookie and aditya… u still top the list …and yes (IN THAT ORDER)!) 🙂