i FEAR!

Fear.

We sell fear. We buy fear. We live in fear.

We wake up in the mornings and the newspapers scare us. Where we live is unsafe, what we’re eating is wrong, what we’re doing will destroy us…we wake up to fear.

We then go to work, fearing the repercussions of a boss who may one day fire us, a client who may one day not need us, a job where one day we’ll prove we’re replaceable by someone younger, smarter and more ambitious. We work in fear.

We come home trying got do everything the same way we have always done, faring change; lest the wife leaves us, the children hate us, the neighbour bitches about us, the friends prefer other people to spend time with. We come home in fear.

And then we exercise for fear we’ll get diabetes or a heart attack or die. We eat what the newspapers say is good for us till another study prints that all that we thought was good is now bad and we may die any way and then the fears just grow and grow and grow!

Fear starts when we’re young and our parents tell us if we don’t go to sleep ‘the Boogie man will come for us’ and then as we grow older the Boogie man becomes our jobs, our marriages, our life choices …even our food!

We fear the newspapers…we don’t celebrate the victories- big or small.

We fear our jobs- we stop enjoying them

We fear our marriages- love goes out of the window

We fear our health- an the fear causes stress and a whole new set of illnesses.

We live in fear and stress and then the fear and stress finally kills us.

I don’t know how this will work… but this week’s resolution (and I say this week…. because it’s going to be tough to retrain a system which has only been taught stress and fear)- is to HAVE NO FEAR…. I mean… think of the incredible things that I could achieve just with hard work…not worrying about a negative consequence… the possibilities are truly limitless!

Try it with me? And let’s check back on how this felt!

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No time? Why?

‘ I have no time,’ a constant complaint from all of us.

‘I can’t believe where the day /week/ month / year went!’

It went. And you were there. But you weren’t actually present. We’re always so busy. But busy achieving what? We spend less time with family and friends. We are divided between duties at office. We don’t even focus when we’re driving…we’re too busy returning  or making calls.

With all this ‘work’ we are doing why is the only result exhaustion and unfulfillment ? Because we’re never actually concentrating on the moment….we are each too busy thinking about the moments that just passed or the moments ahead and we’re never actually focusing on the moment we’re in.

We’re all born different – to different strata, in different countries, with different economic and social backgrounds… but time is the one thing that unites us. We all get the same amount of time in a day and it’s what we do with it that can change our lives. We have the same time to work, to relax, to fall in love, to dream, to work, to live,to stress, to worry. Time is constant and time is changing and that is the one common thread that binds us all.

Instead of running to keep up with time… let’s give it a little more respect.

  1. Schedule your day. It’s not about starting at 9 am or 9:30 am… it’ about what you have to do. Prioritise. Finish. And then leave. Don’t wait incessantly to check on facebook or wait because society/boss dictates you must wait till 7/8 at work. Work should be judged by how much you do in the day not by how long you spend eating/ tweeting/faffing at your desk. If we become a more goal/result oriented work culture as opposed to a time oriented work culture- we’ll achieve more. Work till you finish….. 4 p.m. or 10 p.m. Schedule your day well and FINISH MORE.
  2. Plan your time with family. Phone’s on silent., coffee breaks, take up a sport…. time with family is precious. You will never get it back again.
  3. Take the time to relax and don’t judge yourself. If you need an hour break every day….TAKE IT! Enjoy yourself. you’ll end up charged and ready to take on the world again…else you’ll just end up burnt out.
  4. Take a few minutes every day to do nothing. In Palo Alto in the tech companies there were meditation rooms, sleep rooms and quick break rooms…sometimes you need about 5/10 minutes every 3 hours or so to do…NOTHING.
  5. When you are driving just drive. When you are watching a movie, watch it and when you are sundaying- relax. Don’t do 3 things at one time…it’s not multitasking…it’s not even single tasking…no task is completed well and nothing is achieved and you usually have to start all over again.

Make every second count. Don’t rush thru life or rush thru your day. We each have enough time… let’s just take it!

INNW

 

One life to live (from my new Times of India Celebrity Blog!)

This Blog is courtesy my new Times of India Celebrity Blog! So do check it out!

 

 

There is usually one major reason to die but there are several reasons to live.

This week’s news was filled with suicides and self inflicted deaths. “ I watched for ten hours as he died via Skype!” screamed a headline! Harassment caused another individual to kill himself! And we haven’t even reached exam results time yet…that will be a whole different story! Some people killing themselves when they don’t get the result they expected and yet another entire set of people killing themselves in FEAR of a result!

Life is not a video game. You can’t press re-start and expect to just start over! Our may be a generation that believes in instant success, instant fame and instant money but we are also a generation that needs to understand that unlike 2 minute noodles, life doesn’t always dish out what we expected or even what’s fair!

From personal experiences, I have to say, I was 25 years old, acting in films, doing advertisements and 10 shows or even more a month; and pretty much at the top of my game when I got Acute Disseminated Encyphomyelitis ( a single attack of Multiple Sclerosis) which left me unable to speak, swallow, see and hear from one side and left side paralysed completely. This happened overnight. Life is not always fair! To try and roll over and play dead or actually will myself to die might have been an easier choice but not the right one. Choosing to die doesn’t just destroy your life, it destroys all the lives of those around you and that was something I couldn’t even think of!

When a person dies a natural death , it is terribly painful but something a family knew was inevitable. A natural death is a life passing. A suicide is a life murdered. And it leaves only destruction in its wake. a family grieving, questions unanswered and so much pain- it’s not fair.

Sure the heat is driving us angry, insane and frustrated and sure life doesn’t seem fair right now! But guess what, someone somewhere loves you- you may know them or you may not even have met them yet- but there is someone out there who will make your life worth it and as bad as your life seems now- it will only get better.

I chose life. So should you.

And so when everything’s getting you down- get up, get out and make yourself smile!

Anything from a cold glass of nimbu pani to a movie marathon with a friend! Summer’s here and with it the promise of vacations to exotic lands, sleeping in , sun, surf and beach! So this week was also about planning the perfect summer! Yup- I love my lists and plans …!

And with a weekend that started fashionably with draping of scarves and launching of luxury boats – it looks like summer’s here to put a smile on everyones’ faces and give some a much appreciated break!

So let’s raise a cold glass of cola, cheer for the IPL and plan exotic trips half way across the world!

P.s. (Palat says)-: We have one life to live so let’s LIVE IT!