I’m weird!

I’m a little weird and I know that most of you who know me will think that this is a glaring understatement. But I think , in the most part, so are each of you!

This week was a mixture of emotions. With the looming doctor visit today, the week had a sense of foreboding and horror. The start of the week though seemed promising- we had the premiere of ‘The Joker’ to watch. An unbelievable performance shone light on a character’s incredible personal turmoil and struggle and desire to be accepted. In all his strangeness , eventually he desired to be seen and , if possible, loved. And isn’t that in a way, each one of us, don’t we mask our imperfections with a mask/ filter. We colour of thoughts with politically correct words thinking it will make us more liked and accepted.

Aren’t we all in one way or another wearing a disguise?

And then I realised that the one thing I have learnt over the years is to allow myself to feel, to be vulnerable, to yell and to shout and to cry. And this who know my weirdness also know my many, many flaws. Sure , it may be better to hide them; but really what is the point?

I’ve realised no matter how much you change or try- some people won’t like you and no matter how hard you become the person you think they want you to be nothing changes.

But if you look hard enough, you’ll find your people. They will be weird , in different ways, but they will accept you. And when you do find them, learn and allow them to be who they are, so you each can grow, learn, accept and be stronger.

With ‘The Joker’ I looked inside of me. And with the rest of the week that followed, I learnt that I can’t be everything to everyone. I can just be me and that’s ok too!

P.s. (Palat says)-:The week has been a roller coaster… I’m hoping tonight’s doc visit ends on a win… But nonetheless I’m out partying tonight! What am I celebrating…? I’m celebrating making it thru another week! And that’s awesome!

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No time? Why?

‘ I have no time,’ a constant complaint from all of us.

‘I can’t believe where the day /week/ month / year went!’

It went. And you were there. But you weren’t actually present. We’re always so busy. But busy achieving what? We spend less time with family and friends. We are divided between duties at office. We don’t even focus when we’re driving…we’re too busy returning  or making calls.

With all this ‘work’ we are doing why is the only result exhaustion and unfulfillment ? Because we’re never actually concentrating on the moment….we are each too busy thinking about the moments that just passed or the moments ahead and we’re never actually focusing on the moment we’re in.

We’re all born different – to different strata, in different countries, with different economic and social backgrounds… but time is the one thing that unites us. We all get the same amount of time in a day and it’s what we do with it that can change our lives. We have the same time to work, to relax, to fall in love, to dream, to work, to live,to stress, to worry. Time is constant and time is changing and that is the one common thread that binds us all.

Instead of running to keep up with time… let’s give it a little more respect.

  1. Schedule your day. It’s not about starting at 9 am or 9:30 am… it’ about what you have to do. Prioritise. Finish. And then leave. Don’t wait incessantly to check on facebook or wait because society/boss dictates you must wait till 7/8 at work. Work should be judged by how much you do in the day not by how long you spend eating/ tweeting/faffing at your desk. If we become a more goal/result oriented work culture as opposed to a time oriented work culture- we’ll achieve more. Work till you finish….. 4 p.m. or 10 p.m. Schedule your day well and FINISH MORE.
  2. Plan your time with family. Phone’s on silent., coffee breaks, take up a sport…. time with family is precious. You will never get it back again.
  3. Take the time to relax and don’t judge yourself. If you need an hour break every day….TAKE IT! Enjoy yourself. you’ll end up charged and ready to take on the world again…else you’ll just end up burnt out.
  4. Take a few minutes every day to do nothing. In Palo Alto in the tech companies there were meditation rooms, sleep rooms and quick break rooms…sometimes you need about 5/10 minutes every 3 hours or so to do…NOTHING.
  5. When you are driving just drive. When you are watching a movie, watch it and when you are sundaying- relax. Don’t do 3 things at one time…it’s not multitasking…it’s not even single tasking…no task is completed well and nothing is achieved and you usually have to start all over again.

Make every second count. Don’t rush thru life or rush thru your day. We each have enough time… let’s just take it!

INNW

 

The Love List!

 

 

So there comes in time in every relationship when you make ‘the list.’ The list is all the guys/ girls you’ve dated and then what you actually want on the other side! And what’s really funny (and I think a personal joke for Fate!) is that who you end up with  may have just a few or none of the things on your very dramatic first list! 😉 So to make a more realistic list here’s what I think should be on it!

Forget about the looks …looks come, looks go…! Looks fade and now looks can be completely altered….! So that’s just transient! Now I’m writing about a guy…but the same list applies for men…just change the gender !

  1. Does he challenge you? Not to a duel or fighting match…but can he match wits with you… Can he talk first? Can he bring up interesting things to do? Does he argue with you and challenge you to think, to feel ,to accomplish?
  2. Does he make you smile? He doesn’t need to be a comedian or juggler….but can he make you smile…even when he’s not around. Take a moment to think of him….now- did you smile?
  3. Does he encourage you to take chances…even when you’re afraid cos you know he’;ll be there like a landing mat if you came crashing down ! Playing safe is okay in life but sometimes a little bit of crazy can really bond two people together…so does he make you feel you can accomplish your crazy dreams!?
  4. Does he fight for you?!? Not a physical fight or even a verbal fight but if push came to shove which side of the line would he be on? Would he be by your side or move away cos he doesn’t like a scene? You want the one who’ll be with you when your down to make sure you can be down but never out!
  5. Does he share some of your interests ? That’s a great talking point and a great bonding point!
  6. Can he do NOTHING with you? Just a day vegging out or sleeping or watching TV or not talking…can he be there by your side and most importantly does it still feel comfortable?
  7. Can you be comfortable with him- leave you hair loose, put on shorts, watch idol and cry and can he be comfortable with you- swear at the tv, watch a match with the same intensity as if he were playing it, fight with you knowing that you won’t leave…. Can you be honest?
  8. Can you create a gibberish language and still understand each other…or look at him and know what he’s thinking…do you take the time to connect? Do you want to?
  9. Do you respect him? Relationships are formed with respect. Make sure you respect yourself but make sure you respect him too… Without respect there’s no real relationship.
  10. When you hold hands does it all seem to make sense…

 

If some of this makes sense to you…add it in your list….I think you’ll find that this list is way cooler  than a list which just has his earning potential, his looks, his cars, her measurements, her legs, her eyes… 😉 you get the drift!

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To …making more dreams come true!!!

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Doing nothing has never been more perfect!

Away from the crowds, the drama, the gossip…the same news, different day newspapers!

I want this! Well time to update the Vision board then, huh!!!

Because dreams don’t have to remain dreams especially when we have the power to make them come true!!!

To another anniversary….To more dreams merging with new realities!

THINGS THAT EVERY COUPLE MUST DO ( and no….I don’t mean the obvious!)

so being a couple is fun for all the obvious reasons…yes i mean what you think i mean– cuddling ( get your minds out of the gutter people!!!)…but its often very very important to see if you are more than just great looking people who are attracted to each other!  if your partner and you have done / can do most of what’s below–well then i think its meant for keeps….

  1. GO ON COFFEE DATES TOGETHER (JUST THE 2 OF YOU!)– Now I know you think this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to easy but think about it..everyone looks more attractive in dim lights and under kilos of make up and then again, having a few drinks makes some of the most uninteresting people fun, to themselves and to us! Hanging out with friends also gives you only snippets of conversations with your beau….leaving you wanting for more…so test it out -go on a one-on-one with him / her in the day and find out how he/ she really looks and whether their that fun sober and most importantly whether when there’s no loud music and screaming people…whether the 2 of you actually have things to talk about!
  2. GET TO KNOW THEIR FAMILY–  A huge part of who a person is…depends on how he was raised. Get to know his/ her family…Like them/ hate them…see how important he/ she is to them or what he/ she has learnt from them and a huge part of a puzzle will be solved. else there’ll always be a big chunk of the puzzle missing and trust me…this piece is the heart of the puzzle…it’s who he/she is… You don’t want to leave it till the end!
  3. TALK ABOUT MONEY- The biggest reasons for break ups is money…so if you r getting serious start figuring out if and when you move to the next stage how money is going to work…who’s going to spend and how much and what everyone’s expectations are…lay it out!
  4. SAY I LOVE YOU AND MEAN IT– For some..saying ‘ i love you ‘ is not a big deal….Know when you mean it…It’ll be when you feel it in every pore of your being…Unless you both feel this way….one of you will always be looking!
  5. VACATION TOGETHER- are you a beach person and him a snow lover? does he love cities and do you need down time…. can you vacation together without wanting to kill each other?? a toughie….cos vacations is when we need to relax and want to relax. can you do down time WITH your partner or does he/she invade your space?
  6. GO THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH– Now here I am not saying that you have to go through a rough patch asap or NOW! But what I am trying to say is that its important that you understand how your partner and you go through a rough patch..because in life there will be several ups and downs… and its important to know how you BOTH deal with a down! Are you / him a partner in fair weather…HERE JUST ASKING SOMEONE DOESN’T WORK….you have to go thru it!go thru a bad together and make it still work for you!
  7. FIGHT– a really good and proper fight and make up and get through it! That shows you that you can retain your individuality and not care that the other person will leave you over an argument…Love is stronger than arguments and marriage is more than just a couple of fights!
  8. PLAN THE FUTURE – what do you want ? what does your partner want? are they both very, very different?
  9. DO NOTHING– So there will be evening where you both don’t have anything to do…no dates, no parties, no dinners….just you….! Can you both do nothing together?
  10. CHECK THE LIST–  Every one of us had an ideal person that we thought we’d be looking for…put the qualities of that imaginary person ( BUT BE REAL IN YOUR DESIRES…I MEAN YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET SOMEONE WHO HAS A FATHER RICHER THAN DONALD TRUMP & WHO HAS A HOTTER BIKINI BOD THAN PAM ANDERSON DID!) and weigh your  current against the negotiables (physical attributes) and the non-negotiables (character/qualities/work/family/money/religious beliefs/family ideals etc) and see if you’ve got a good match….if you have move heaven and hell to make it work!

…on a totally different note….rehearsals for sunday’s show have started and we are currently starting a campaign against one of the actor’s… SANKET BRUSH YOUR TEETH….with your own tooth brush… (don’t even ask!) your support will be greatly appreciated!