I’m weird!

I’m a little weird and I know that most of you who know me will think that this is a glaring understatement. But I think , in the most part, so are each of you!

This week was a mixture of emotions. With the looming doctor visit today, the week had a sense of foreboding and horror. The start of the week though seemed promising- we had the premiere of ‘The Joker’ to watch. An unbelievable performance shone light on a character’s incredible personal turmoil and struggle and desire to be accepted. In all his strangeness , eventually he desired to be seen and , if possible, loved. And isn’t that in a way, each one of us, don’t we mask our imperfections with a mask/ filter. We colour of thoughts with politically correct words thinking it will make us more liked and accepted.

Aren’t we all in one way or another wearing a disguise?

And then I realised that the one thing I have learnt over the years is to allow myself to feel, to be vulnerable, to yell and to shout and to cry. And this who know my weirdness also know my many, many flaws. Sure , it may be better to hide them; but really what is the point?

I’ve realised no matter how much you change or try- some people won’t like you and no matter how hard you become the person you think they want you to be nothing changes.

But if you look hard enough, you’ll find your people. They will be weird , in different ways, but they will accept you. And when you do find them, learn and allow them to be who they are, so you each can grow, learn, accept and be stronger.

With ‘The Joker’ I looked inside of me. And with the rest of the week that followed, I learnt that I can’t be everything to everyone. I can just be me and that’s ok too!

P.s. (Palat says)-:The week has been a roller coaster… I’m hoping tonight’s doc visit ends on a win… But nonetheless I’m out partying tonight! What am I celebrating…? I’m celebrating making it thru another week! And that’s awesome!

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The ‘OTHER’ voice inside of me!

stressed

So the end of the 2012 started with a chill, cold and a God awful fever! The Hallmark generated excitement of a New Years Eve was suddenly torn to shreds by tissues, warm water and phlegm , not to mention the most incredible migraine was creating a resounding thudding sound in my head was not the head thumping music I’d been hoping to dance to all night. And so the 31st night was spent under blankets, drinking cough syrup and feeling very sorry for myself. I felt so terrible for having made everyone change/cancel their new year plans and after taking a minute to pray at new year for the year ahead I was warmly tucked into bed by 12:01 am.

Turns out nobody minded that I changed the plans. Some made their own, some spent time together, some slept- everyone seemed to have ┬ádone exactly what they wanted to do…and there I was beating myself over it. That’s the thing- pressure is only pressure when we realize that we’re the only ones putting pressure on ourselves!

Sure there our deadlines and schedules; but most of those are achievable if we stop adding the additional pressure ourselves! We are always worried about how ‘others’ will perceive us , what ‘others’ will think, what ‘others’ might say- we forget that sometimes we must listen to our perceptions, our thoughts, our feelings and our voices. Sometimes before putting everyone else’s opinion above your own, make a quick, honest opinion for yourself.

Sometimes the ‘Others’ are not that scary, not that mean, not that opinionated- MAY BE it’s just us us being mean, scary and opinionated with ourselves!

Happy New Year! You won’t finish all you have to do this entire year today. You don’t have to. Cut yourself a break and remember the year is a marathon- no point in sprinting now and then being too tired to continue!

And make your ‘other’ voice a bit nicer…and more encouraging! It’ll help!