Kill Cruella!

I have always been rather self destructive. My parents remember this well, when I got myself in trouble when they were in the midst of shouting at my sister for something she had done and I would suddenly point out something I had done which was worse.

But cute as that seemed as I grew older, I got even more destructive. The critical little voice in my head was almost a shout and I was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy enough. And so I hurt myself, I had terrible bouts of anxiety and stress. I was depressed at times and was easily swayed into believing that I was lucky to get anything because I obviously didn’t deserve it.

And when I got sick (multiple sclerosis), this became even worse. Now I was living proof of someone who may never be pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of anything- but something switched inside me. I was stuck so long listening to this evil shouting voice, I never took the time to hear the softer, more encouraging voice in my head. And when I did take the time, and since in the hospital ,I did have just time- I started hearing the voice that told me to believe.

It’s the voice that tells you that ‘you can be more, you can do more and that you are better than you think you are.’ It’s the voice that tells you to believe in yourself and that you are ready for the meeting, for the interview and even to take over the world! It’s the voice that tells you that your body- in pain, fit or unfit- is amazing because it’s yours. It’s the voice that tells you every day can be amazing because you are part of it.

And once you listen to this voice , the evil one becomes softer and slowly becomes non existent, if you work hard enough.

Initially and even sometimes now, when I hear Cruella (yup she has a name) popping up with her fears and doubts in me… I loudly proclaim how sure , how positive and how amazing I am so that Miss D (yup she has a name too) gets the strength to go louder than ever!

P.s.(Palat says)-: How successful you are will often be a direct relation to how much you believe in you. Don’t look for the applause from outside. Be proud to be your biggest cheerleader.

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To those who said I couldn’t

Remember when you told me I wouldn’t work again… I was scared of what you could do… but I kept trying and I kept working.

And you… you who told me that I’d never amount to much… Well to some people…I amount to their whole lives… so that’s a lot I think!

And to the ones who said I was hard hearted and would never be able to love… well you got it wrong… I am capable of more love than you can think. You were wrong for me… I was ok.

And to those who said I’d never walk again… I don’t walk. I run :)!

And those who said I won’t be able to….I did. I finished. I moved on. And I started all over again!

To those who said I can’t or I wouldn’t- I can and I did!

When you said I’d leave because it was too tough…I stayed . I learnt. I won.

When you kicked me…I got up and fought just a little bit harder.

When you hurt me…I didn’t waste time on tears… I moved on- stronger, harder and more determined.

And when I was laughed at… I laughed with you… and learnt how it felt and never did it to someone else.

For all those who called me back to tell me that they didn’t believe …I learnt to try and help you see… see the world thru my eyes.

To those who hated me- I tried to make you see me for who I am…. But if you still hate me… it’s your loss not mine. I’m a pretty awesome person (even if it’s just my husband and family who says so!)

I’ve lived. I’ve learnt. I’ve hurt. I’ve loved. I’ve fought. I’ve dreamt. I’ve had heart breaks and I’ve caused a few. But whenever a door shut… I found that if I took a moment there’d be another door wide open and waiting for me.

Thank you for teaching me that life is full of challenges….I look forward to spending the rest of mine jumping hurdles and winning the race…

You may never see me for who I am but you’ve allowed me to see how much strength , talent, love and beauty lies within me!

Keep the Faith

The last week we were having a discussion with friends… a friend of mine proudly said that she was supposed to get very lucky this week…astrologically! She was supposed to ‘win a huge amount of money in a lottery!’ That sounded just perfect to her husband except he said … well she was going to have to BUY the lottery ticket to even have a chance of winning! That would be at least half the battle, if of course, she chose to believe her ‘psychic!’

That got me to thinking… he was right! To win the lottery..you’ve got to buy the ticket! To fall in love… you have to meet someone/ go out on a date/ make a new friend/ find a new hobby/ trust someone new! Any thing that involves any sort of achievement needs a LEAP OF FAITH! From making a friend, to starting a new business, to falling in love, to marriage… any thing that’s worth it -requires you to make the first step! It requires you to TRY! It requires you to BELIEVE.It requires you to PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE and make the ATTEMPT!

You may fall flat on your face- once , twice…. even more! But to achieve greatness, to achieve love, to achieve friendship, to achieve happiness, to win the lottery even ;)- you gotta have faith!

Faith is a tricky thing. We’d bet money on horses, put money on cards …even put money in the fourth cousin’s business idea but we seldom put faith in ourselves. We seem so normal, so usual, so unexciting- we can’t be poised for greatness……… BUT WE ARE! We are each poised for something great. We are each capable of brilliance. We are each capable of crossing boundaries, shattering myths, creating new ideas and touching the sky- if only we had FAITH.

Try, try and try again but keep the faith while trying!

They say you never know it;s going to be the worst day of your life…but then again you never know it’s going to be the BEST DAY EITHER!

So keep the faith , cross your fingers and enjoy every moment- TODAY MAY BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!

Marketing …ME!

Today’s world is a marketing world! The best education, the finest degrees are no match for the smooth, smart talker who knows how to market himself and his business idea! It’s all about suave, smart marketing , networking and great smiles! It’s not even about selling a product or an idea… it’s about selling yourself- believing in yourself so much that others buy into the dream too!

This year is my company’s tenth year running… we started in 2002 october and we’re celebrating our tenth year this year with great aplomb and excitement. 10 new shows, several new actors, a team of Balancing Act Productions’ favourites and loooots of work! And the marketing has begun and I’m actually loving it… When I started marketing 10 years ago…I was selling a show, a concept , an idea …and hoping to God people bought into me…because I was young, unsure and terribly scared. Now 10 years later…I think I’ve got it…I believe in me and my idea and it’s become easier asking people to believe because I BELIEVE! It’s difficult selling yourself when you’re not sure whether you are worth it… but the minute you start BETTING ON YOURSELF…that’s when it’s not such a hard sell… you realise YOU ARE WORTH IT and all you need to do is BE YOURSELF and let someone else see yourself the way you see yourself! Instead of trying to create rose tinted glasses for those you are marketing yourself to, all you need to do is try and make them see the concept or the idea through your eyes!

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I’m not saying every meeting will be amazing….but I’m saying a little self respect and a little belief in yourself goes a long way….! It makes the meetings more fun and makes your faith in yourself stronger.

10 years down…I’ve learnt how to believe….in me!