I’m never gonna be who I thought I would

All through our lives we’ve been taught to make a difference, do more, be more!

And then it gets to a point- and here may be it’s the impending Birthday Me talking, where you worry- have I actually achieved what I was supposed to have… or was it all just castles in the sky created by my indulgent, loving parents (who btw are throwing a birthday dinner for me tonight- so yay!)… so I decided to take stock!

Well I started out right, topped school, went to Stanford and then I left Stanford prematurely to start acting. Interesting choice!

I started doing films, and started a Production house. One film became seven; the production house put on some truly memorable plays. Each play made me learn to give back to society and be really grateful as to where I was.

I got sick, got Multiple Sclerosis, was told I wouldn’t move but Docs ain’t got nothin on my stubbornness! So up I was and back at work!

I wrote and here I shall boast a bit (allow me, it’s my blog) a truly exceptional play where we toured the world, won numerous World Awards and gave lots of money to a cause I truly supported.

I found a tumour in the pituitary in my brain- didn’t waste a second ,started another company and an Not for profit charity, moved offices.

I have directed TV, commercials, digital, short films and anything that has a story- I have learnt to tell.

I have loved one dog with all my soul and another takes up my heart.

I see my family regularly and it’s still not enough; spend every waking moment I can stalking my husband, who annoys me , infuriates me, challenges me, engages me and loves me.

I’ve not done anything I planned to do when I was a child- but I’ve done so much more than I dreamed of. I’ve lived a life that I couldn’t have imagined because you can’t write lives like mine…

I may not be who I was but I am so excited to see who I will become…so as I countdown the days to my birthday…I’m going to celebrate who I have become with all those who’ve made me who I am on this crazy journey we call life.

P.s. (Palat says)-: You may not be where you think you want to be; but you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now!

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The only target that counts aka I am amazing!

And it’s that time of year again where you hang up the keds and say – “Well this is it! I did it!” You accept that a year has gone by and you’re not much wiser, but funnily enough a heck of lot older. You’re not much richer but still have lots of unpaid bills ! But you did it! You made it through an entire year with cuts and scrapes, a few mistakes, a broken bone or two and maybe a bruised ego which hurts more than the bones but YOU MADE IT!

We wake up. We work hard. We give our hearts away. We love. We sweat. We grumble but do it. We aren’t even asked but get things done. We go through every day , most without thanks, pause or even the smallest break. And then we sleep and start all over again! We are amazing!

Maybe we made some of our targets. Maybe we didn’t. Maybe along the way the targets were changed and we had to start all over again. But we tried! And that is amazing!

And the next year will bring us more hopes and dreams; more unfulfilled wants, harder to reach targets and we’ll keep trying! That too is amazing!

So on this Diwali instead of killing yourself over the thing you didn’t achieve and setting more ridiculous targets for next year- take a breath and relax! You’ve done it! Life is hard and YOU make life easier for someone , somewhere and that’s all that matters! Spend your Diwali with family and friends and if you have neither go out and make some…because in the end the only target that counts is making a difference to someone else’s life… ! So eat that uber sweet sweet and light those diyas and celebrate. You’re alive. You’re amazing. And YOU make a difference!

Happy Diwali!

I want to!

We have sooooo many wants or at least that’s what we think…! And there never seems enough time to do any of it… (especially on those God awful Monday mornings!) But if you were to put all your wants in a list…you might find there are not that many wants after all..! Write a list of your long term goals…!

Let’s try (in random order) -:

  1. I want to travel the world!
  2. I want to open a restaurant!
  3. I want to make a film!
  4. I want to but a penthouse in NYC!

Ok…crazy…but what the heck! You live once!

Now write a list of one thing you can do to make one wish seem a little closer…!

Less hard right?

 

So this Monday dream big, work smart! And make the unreal dreams become reasonable realities!

Write in your list of WANTS! Maybe I can help with some of them…or may be you can help or even add to mine ;)!

 

Because I love you….

Because I love you…I smile each time I see you,

Because I love you…I’ve learnt to walk away,

Because I love you…I’ve learnt to see the sunlight

Even on the darkest day.

 

Because I love you…I leant to forgive you,

Because I love you…I let go of the pain,

Because I love you…I worked on forgetting you

And wiped tears in falling rain…

 

And because you loved me …you let me fly free,

Knowing I may never return,

Alone, I walked brave and hurt…

Heart strong, spirit bold, eyes stern.

 

And I won’t be back tomorrow, or today, or ever,

And you knew that only love would last forever,

Though the bodies are apart, the souls still meet,

When I see you standing across the street.

 

I know you’re mine and you know I’m yours,

We’ve been apart, we’ve settled scores,

And when we look in each others eyes,

There’s a sadness about all the lies.

 

We said we wouldn’t care, we would forget,

But love is cruel, we were in it’s net,

And though we traveled the world apart,

You always had me in your heart.

 

And I still love you every day,

And I still want you just this way,

But too much time has passed, life is much to fast,

And so I walk away. Tomorrow is another day.

 

 

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…this was written… just because 😉

What I WANT from THE INDIAN GOVERNMENT & what I think INDIA DESERVES!

What happened on the 13th of July 2011 was unforgivable and I wrote about it! the responses and calls I got were overwhelming…it seemed like alot of us felt this way. Someone from the BBC called last night and asked me a very pertinent question- what do I want? Well I though I could list a few things that would make me feel safer and I’m all for more suggestions, more opinions and more wants!

  1. I  want somebody to be the face to take the onus of what has happened and to spearhead a change! Instead of politicians hiding behind their money-minting portfolios and the bullet proof car windows- I want someone to say- ” Hi! I am in charge and I will do my best to personally ensure this NEVER happens again and the perpetrators are brought to justice!!!
  2. I want someone from the government to NOT HAVE TO READ FROM A SHEET OF PAPER TO TELL YOU HOW OUTRAGED THEY ARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!! You don’t need to read about how angry you are! You NEED TO FEEL IT!!!!!! I wantt our Prime Minister and President to speak to their citizens! I want to not hear that they are outraged in small print under an actual news report! THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT PUT THEM IN POWER!
  3. Someone from the government must be on the news minutes after the attacks to keep the calm and give us the CORRECT INFORMATION! I heard of 2 attacks, 3 attacks, 4 …new bomb sites and even more disturbing news till almost 120 minutes later we got official news from the Home ministry!
  4. Stop going on television an telling people not to indulge in rumour mongering- tell them how many blasts have happened, where, how many are dead and where the injured are at- GIVE THEM THE FACTS!
  5. don’t say its our fault cos we elected these leaders- we’re not really given a choice! There’s criminals, murderers and cheats on our ballot polls. Its almost a joke that if you haven’t shot, killed, raped or looted someone you can’t get into politics! CRIMINALS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE IN OFFICE- NO MATTER WHAT THE CRIME!
  6. WE MUST be ALLOWED to use our NO VOTE OPTION and the candidates MUSTN’T BE ALLOWED TO RE-STAND for election!
  7. Instead of using 4 sets of cars per politician for security purposes- we should use the money to secure our cities!!! After all- the politicians will live but the way the attacks are progressing, sometimes it’s doubtful they’ll have any alive in the constituencies they represent!
  8. Instead of making promises just during election, government officials must have a monthly/ tri-monthly report card to see what they’ve done!
  9. STOP SPREADING POLITICS AT THE TIME OF SUCH A TRAGEDY! NONE OF THE PARTIES THUS FAR HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SECURE US! YOU ARE ALL TO BLAME!
  10. Stop having VIP Visits in hospital just for the show and PR!!! We needed you to save our innocent victims, not to console them with empty promises and thoughtless words! it makes for great PR! BUT THIS IS JUST NOT THE TIME!
  11. Instead of cops skulking around corners to catch the one car that broke a light so they can make money of bribes- we want them to dismantle illegal parking places like the one at Zaveri Bazaar!
  12. If you have the Intelligence that the city is under threat- DEPLOY COPS— ITS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN DEAD!
  13. Stop worrying about losing votes- worry about saving lives!
  14. STOP THE COWARDICE- 1500 RAPES, 1 BROAD DAY LIGHT MURDER & 3 TERRORIST ATTACKS IN 2 1/2 MONTHS!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY! MAYBE our cops and politicians need to stop bending over backwards to keep the moneyed terrorists and vote banks happy! we need to take a stand and punish the guilty!If the men at the helm our cowards- our city had no chance!
  15. GIVE US JUSTICE AFTER THE KASAB TRIAL. WE MIGHT BE DEMOCRATIC- but do we need to be IDIOTIC!??People have suffered. Hundreds have testified. Many died! We have the proof and yet we let him stay in our jails, eat our food, and cost our tax payers CRORES OF RUPEES! USE THAT MONEY TO PROTECT OUR CITY instead of PROTECTING YOUR IMAGE IN FRONT OF TERROR GROUPS!!!
We’re a country who works to ensure that the evil get a fair trial but many of our good don’t get a fair life and sometimes don’t even get a fair death!
i want to stop looking over my shoulder. i want start feeling safe. this is my home and if i’m not safe here, how is that fair? Mumbai is like a war zone…except we don’t fight back and we keep getting killed! It’s time for Delhi, our government, politicians and cops to take charge and KEEP US SAFE!

 

…cos it’s all in my head! ( aka what women want!)

that’s the difference often between happiness and the IDEAL of happiness….my husband taught me very early in life ( by default of course) that men have absolutely NO IDEA what you want, what you’re thinking or why you are in that obnoxious mood….you want to him to learn, you want him to know- TELL HIM!!!

Men are less complicated than we give them credit for and actually pretty straight forward. yes, sure some of them still have the wait 3 days before calling rule or the ‘pretending’ that their cool with you not being committed to them is kind of their only games and since we girls know the rules; these games are not the fairest of games!

So what do women want– men just ask them and women stop playing the ‘if you knew me, you would know…’ game and just blurt it out! stop imagining that one day he’s going to get it all ‘just right’, because he doesn’t know what ‘just right’ is unless you tell him at least once!!! And yup, just tell them. no games. i want commitment. i want coffee. i want to go to see a rom- com! i like birthdays!!! tell them what you want…its a heck of a lot easier and you’ll be a heck of a lot happier…because in time your man will keep it in mind and get everything ‘JUST RIGHT!’ …just the way you had it up in your head!!!

on the flip side maybe you’re both wanting different things..isn’t it easier you know now than 5 years down the line!!! so talk, shout, COMMUNICATE!

it’s not their fault for screwing it up…if you don’t tell them what they screwed up in the first place…right!