I’m never gonna be who I thought I would

All through our lives we’ve been taught to make a difference, do more, be more!

And then it gets to a point- and here may be it’s the impending Birthday Me talking, where you worry- have I actually achieved what I was supposed to have… or was it all just castles in the sky created by my indulgent, loving parents (who btw are throwing a birthday dinner for me tonight- so yay!)… so I decided to take stock!

Well I started out right, topped school, went to Stanford and then I left Stanford prematurely to start acting. Interesting choice!

I started doing films, and started a Production house. One film became seven; the production house put on some truly memorable plays. Each play made me learn to give back to society and be really grateful as to where I was.

I got sick, got Multiple Sclerosis, was told I wouldn’t move but Docs ain’t got nothin on my stubbornness! So up I was and back at work!

I wrote and here I shall boast a bit (allow me, it’s my blog) a truly exceptional play where we toured the world, won numerous World Awards and gave lots of money to a cause I truly supported.

I found a tumour in the pituitary in my brain- didn’t waste a second ,started another company and an Not for profit charity, moved offices.

I have directed TV, commercials, digital, short films and anything that has a story- I have learnt to tell.

I have loved one dog with all my soul and another takes up my heart.

I see my family regularly and it’s still not enough; spend every waking moment I can stalking my husband, who annoys me , infuriates me, challenges me, engages me and loves me.

I’ve not done anything I planned to do when I was a child- but I’ve done so much more than I dreamed of. I’ve lived a life that I couldn’t have imagined because you can’t write lives like mine…

I may not be who I was but I am so excited to see who I will become…so as I countdown the days to my birthday…I’m going to celebrate who I have become with all those who’ve made me who I am on this crazy journey we call life.

P.s. (Palat says)-: You may not be where you think you want to be; but you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now!

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And the year happened

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And it’s the same time of year that I usually love.. there are carols in the air, a slight nip, buying and gifting of presents and glorious xmas and new year plans – everything is the same and yet everything is completely different.

This year tried me in ways I could not have imagined and though the strength of a person is defined by how they come out in difficult situations, I must say there were moments I didn’t trust my strength- I didn’t even trust myself. I just went on.

And strength came- from expected and unexpected quarters. They say God only gives you all that you can handle. He also gave me people who could handle me. I learnt that.

I lost friends. I gained more. I never thought it’d be possible to make new friends after a point- I was wrong.

I learnt how to give. Unselfishly. Proudly. I learnt that there is so much kindness in this world. In all the hate- there is also so much good. We should focus on that more.

I learnt about pain. I learnt that physical pain can be as debilitating as mental pain. And that they both need you to do the work to recover. Recovery is about you learning to take care of yourself.

I learnt in all my humour , I am also dark. In all my commercialisation, I am also art. In my madness there is sense. In my wild-child side, there’s a homebody.

Thank you for teaching me so much 2014. You were an education- hard and filled with examinations like school!

I’m now waiting for the college years 🙂 wild and with great parties … To 2015!