Slip Disc Musings

And so keeping in tune with the year the back collapsed on me… with a slip disc I hobbled around albeit sideways while my puppy tried his best not to trip me up on stairs (unsuccessfully) and my husband worked on being the ‘perfect stick’ for me to lean on (equally unsuccessfully).

And though I was told I should rest I hobbled thru my walk ( a much shorter version though) and turned up to office and went to meetings as was scheduled. I even went to a friend’s party on Saturday and ….. hung out on the uber comfortable couch (thanks Nosh)… but I still went!

I had a friend over on Wednesday and we chatted for hours and I heated food and served it and went about hosting her like a pro, or so I’d like to think…And tonight we’re going out again… cos I’ve realised its mind over matter and pain mustn’t stop me from doing things or meeting people… because I don’t want to regret times I ‘could have had.’

And despite being called ‘a control-freak’ by some-namely Mom and Aditya, I realised that what I had was the most positive version of #FOMO.

#FOMO (the fear of missing out) is usually regarded as a negative, negative hashtag and often in our busy lives we really make fun of it and enjoy the precious silences and alone time.

But take it from me, when it becomes difficult to do something, you really miss the time it was easy. You miss choice when you don’t have any. When people wonder why I clock the time when my arm hurts ; it’s because I need to be grateful for the time it doesn’t. What I miss most about my life pre-multiple sclerosis; is waking up without any pain. But now every day I get up; I get out and make the best of it. I know that today is possibly easier than tomorrow and I’m not going to miss today.

So I love having too many invitations and try and do everything because there is no joy for me in missing out… We take too many things in our lives for granted- let’s now enjoy every moment of the ability to be able to do all the things important to us! There is true joy in that.

P.s.(Palat says)-: Don’t hate the noise and busyness … the silence is lonely.

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Why?

 

Why is life not the way we want it to be?

There is too much to do…too little time…

Too much time…too little joy,

Too many people, too few friends,

Small beginnings, dramatic ends!

 

To wait, to see, to wander, to be,

To live, to breathe, to touch, to feel,

To cry, to hurt, to pain,to grieve,

To dream, to want, to forget, to leave.

 

Why can’t today be tomorrow and yesterday be today,

Why can’t we take back what we never did say?

Why are you here, yet so far away?

Why did it take so long for me to understand?

That life is but a charcoal sketch

It’s the colours we add that make it grand.

 

 

 

 

 

Because I love you….

Because I love you…I smile each time I see you,

Because I love you…I’ve learnt to walk away,

Because I love you…I’ve learnt to see the sunlight

Even on the darkest day.

 

Because I love you…I leant to forgive you,

Because I love you…I let go of the pain,

Because I love you…I worked on forgetting you

And wiped tears in falling rain…

 

And because you loved me …you let me fly free,

Knowing I may never return,

Alone, I walked brave and hurt…

Heart strong, spirit bold, eyes stern.

 

And I won’t be back tomorrow, or today, or ever,

And you knew that only love would last forever,

Though the bodies are apart, the souls still meet,

When I see you standing across the street.

 

I know you’re mine and you know I’m yours,

We’ve been apart, we’ve settled scores,

And when we look in each others eyes,

There’s a sadness about all the lies.

 

We said we wouldn’t care, we would forget,

But love is cruel, we were in it’s net,

And though we traveled the world apart,

You always had me in your heart.

 

And I still love you every day,

And I still want you just this way,

But too much time has passed, life is much to fast,

And so I walk away. Tomorrow is another day.

 

 

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…this was written… just because 😉