‘Too old for that s^&t!’ I keep exclaiming.(Excuse the expletives Ma!). But I’ve realised that nowadays my propensity for rubbish – notice I didn’t use the bull$%^ word Ma; has reduced greatly. Been there, done that. Listened to the excuses before, the reasons why payments get delayed, the questionable ways of making money under the table etc. and I guess the newness of the deceitfulness has ended and the amazement and shock of people always trying to pull a fast one on you has faded. I can now call it, get annoyed and get out all in no time at all leaving very few war wounds, except for a terrible migraine!
But as you get older , you realise that much as you don’t have brain space or time to waste on this ; you find time to truly devote to what’s important. You find time to reconnect with family, make friends, find time to spend with them and discover what you want to devote time to. And that has really been a blessing. Because I’ve realised that the annoyance is like static on a TV set- you can either keep watching and feel sick and bored and fed up or you can just change the channel!
This week has been about changing channels…. it’s been about spending time with the family. It’s been about re-learning what’s new with the husband and parents and blocking all the noise for sun , sea and Vitamin D.
And to tell you the truth, much as I love all the drama my life holds; sometimes lying on a beach watching just the waves lap the shore almost in a continuous beat is the most satisfying way to spend a day… I’ll never be too old for that! 😬
P.s. (Palat says)-: Call out the rubbish. You should never suffer lies or fools. You deserve better. And in turn don’t lie or be foolish… That’s only fair!
So I’ve realised it takes a village to build you up and make you feel confident but it’s often just the one person that can bring that confidence crashing down! And that’s just sad…
What the tens, hundreds or millions say about you can be shattered by one thoughtless comment or one mean remark. It’s like that little devil inside of us barely needs a drop of water to take on a monstrous form and take us over completely.
And that’s why the trolls succeed so much. I used to visit a client ever so often and despite me being at my best; I’d watch how every compliment would be followed by a quick jibe, a passing thoughtless remark or just something plain mean. I noticed it a few times but I think it really came to a head when my team asked me what was wrong with them? I honestly didn’t know. Every time they made a comment it hurt but I tried to push it aside as much as I could and eventually knew when the comment would come , so played a song in my head to dull their words!
But then the husband came up with an insightful reason (no I wasn’t bribed to compliment him :)) they did this.He said that often people chose to use hurtful words to cover up what was happening in their lives. When they chose to criticise how I looked or that I spoke with an accent- it was often a reflection of them not being happy with what they looked like or how they spoke. And when I started really listening to what they were saying I saw all their deep rooted personal issues- marriage problems, body image issues, blatant racism and insecurities. And now I have realised that perhaps that’s the way to deal with trolls.
Everyone is on a journey. When they lash out, it’s more about what’s happening with them not with you. And when you re-teach yourself to think like that the hurt is less and you too are equally careful about how you speak.
P.s. (Palat says)-: Every person I meet I try and learn something from… even the worst people you meet have something they can teach you. Learn.
The husband complained more than a few times of my accurate description of his grunts and TV watching style. This amused me thoroughly and when I asked whether I should photograph him as proof or use his name in the blog- he grunted his approval while staring at his phone screen!
Conclusion-: He (Aditya) can stare at a phone screen at all times… it’s not just limited to when he watches TV
The rest of the day needed spicing up… and so I engaged in my favourite pastime – deciding where I should travel next to- my personal window shopping exercise… I have realised whether or not I go to all these places; I will be prepared. So if tomorrow, the opportunity arose to go anywhere from New Zealand to Russia to the South of France or even Hawaii, I’d have ready hotels, itineraries and even my choice of airlines all sorted!
This was easily the best way to spend lunch…especially with the new diet offering a new speciality of depressing food ! Before I knew it food was gone and Trip no. 34,563 was planned!
Each day can be so terribly long or unexciting, I have realised that every day it’s important to do something new- something that makes your day a lot of fun, even if it’s just for a few minutes or so- just so that yesterday is not the same as today which won’t be the same as tomorrow. A small ‘brain/heart indulgence’ always makes the day a little bit special. And we could all use a bit of special in our lives!
I used to use this on a Blog I wrote for Times of India and so I’m gonna start over now!
P.s. (Palat says) Find something that makes every day fun- that way every day is worth remembering!