Divya's Blog!

Done, dusted, forgotten about!

And now that the year is coming to a close, you start taking stock of everything that went by! Seems easier to take stock when the year has come to an end and suddenly the enormity of what you just went through hits you! Take a moment. Breathe. You made it! 2012 is over! Scraped, bruised and a bit beaten- you’ve come out punching! Some of us have come out smarter, some of us wiser, some of us harder, some of us better looking– but all of us have survived!

It’s funny when you take moment to think about all that you went thru- the first things that go thru your mind are the heart aches, the lost job opportunities , the fights, the losses, the break ups… the pain. It’s a lot harder to remember the laughter, the great conversations, the new formed friendships, the small wins , the drunken , crazy, incredible evenings, the small gestures, the kindness…. the love!

So this new year…I’m starting a ‘Memories and moments jar!’ – a jar where I will slip in a piece of paper and write the date along with any positive event that happened…! Anything- it could be the day I laughed for 10 minutes non stop, or a day where Cookie did something wonderfully cute, or the day where Aditya bought me flowers…just because! Anything funny, interesting and wonderful…so that next December 31st instead of thinking of how amazing it was that I’ve come out relatively unscathed…I will open up the jar and reminisce at a year full of wonderful moments, hilarious anecdotes and remember the love!

Have a super , super new year! 🙂 See you all on the other side!

New Years @ the Vivanta by Taj President

So I’d always wanted to do a relaxed New Years Eve! Check in to a nice hotel, have a wonderful dinner, party and instead of worrying how to get home and having to hire a river to get you back safely…just take the elevator up and collapse on a plush, well made bed in a room that’s just the right temperature!

So that’s what we did! This last new years eve Aditya and I checked in to the Vivanta by Taj President with my pet cocker spaniel Cookie. Now this is important- because very few hotels in India are pet friendly and it’s absolutely vital for the both of us to not leave Cookie home alone on the loudest night of the year. So bags packed we headed off to the hotel. I must confess we were way more excited about this new year than poor lil Cookie.

We were checked in immediately and taken to our suite and Cookie , now slowly catching the excitement bug, smiled happily, found a new bed and then went to sleep…. A warm cup of coffee later, I was off to a relaxed tub bath and then had the time to do my hair and make up perfectly before our friends descended on us! We were all partying at Wink, the bar at the hotel and a table had been reserved for the group. As they reached, I headed downstairs, my feet in stilettos thanking me for the very short journey…:)

Wink was wonderful and the sushi perfect as usual and it got me to to thinking that the Vivanta by Taj President has some of the finest eateries in Mumbai. The Thai Pavillion is sublime. The Trattoria serves the most tasty pizzas and pastas and to get good food on New Years eve a long with some very interesting specially created cocktails was quite the treat!

I did keep checking on my lil Cookie though and tho the hotel has a pet-friendly policy, the staff are still getting used to pets… They are not sure how to react or what to do… but I guess the fact that hotels are learning to treat our furry babies like family is a huge step in the right direction!

The evening was fun, raucous, loud and exhausting but have to say that on January 1, when all the rest of my friends looked miserable at the trudge across town back home…I was still beaming…After all I was just a quick elevator ride away from my bed, my puppy and sleep!

MUST TRY-: Thai Pavillion for authentic, tasty , light Thai food AND Trattoria for thin crust pizzas with incredible toppings!

COST-: $200- $1400 (all inclusive with spa treatments included) per night…! For New Years, spending the night over at the hotel as opposed to driving home tired, with tons of drunken revelers on the street- the greatest idea ever!

Raping me.

I am your sister, your wife, your mother, your friend. I am your conscience, your feelings, your creativity, your inner most thoughts. I am your blood, your hair, your eyes, your soul. I am all that you have and all that you need. I am you.

You exist because of me. You live because I give you life. You dream because I dream with you. When you are lost , I help you find your way. You need me. You need my love. You need my care. You need me.

And then I am raped and beaten and left to die. Left on a street – naked and uncovered, I am left to choke on my own blood and tears and you pass me by. You are stronger than me but don’t bother to pick me up. You are louder than me , but don’t bother to shout. You can run faster than me but don’t run to get help. Instead you walk over me like you would a speed bump, avoid me like you would garbage and pretend not to notice me like I’m invisible.

And this happens every day, every where, all the time and we get so used to it… we stop wondering if the headlines are ever going to change. We wander around like deer in a city full of predators, except than unlike in the jungle where the predator will just kill you for food- his necessity for life… here the predators- Man will rape you, humiliate and demean you and then leave you for dead. This is not a need. He doesn’t need to rape you to survive. He just does it for sport!

Rape is not a sport. It shouldn’t be a video game. It shouldn’t be. And yet it is.

And when we protest, once again you beat us. we stand unarmed- begging for justice for one of our own and you lathi charge us and wear us down with water canons.

Are we that dangerous? Did our words hurt, humiliate or demean you? Did it, God forbid, rape you?!

No. That was us. We were raped. And then we were not allowed to complain.

To all my women friends… the men don’t care. They are not going to change or help in any way.Let’s look after ourselves and be safe. Let’s move in groups and be unafraid to yell, scream and run if we have the slightest feeling of danger…Pepper spray, karate, self defense- let’s stop looking at men to protect us. Let’s protect ourselves.

Men if you think you can protect us. Start. Start by castrating those bastards!

The Royal Touch at the Taj Faluknama Palace Hyderabad

The Taj Falaknuma Palace was a hotel I chose to stay on on a whim. It had just opened and I was curious! I had stayed in all the iconic Taj Palaces across the country and this was a hotel I had heard amazing things about…so after a show in Hyderabad , we decided to check in for the night at this iconic hotel!Falaknuma Palace is also known as the ’mirror of the sky‘ because at 2000 feet, it was built in the clouds and reflects the ever-changing moods of the sky.

Driving thru the old city of hyderabad you cannot but help see this magnificent beauty in white perched on a hill staring at the bustling city below. Calm, peaceful and detached – a beautiful painting from an era gone by… The chauffeur pointed out the hotel and it was beautiful just looking at it from afar. As you go to the gates, the car is stopped and you have the option to travel by a golf cart type buggy or horse carriage. We chose the horse carriage and enjoyed the horse hoof patter up the walkway to the entrance of the glorious hotel.

Showered by flower petals on our arrival , we were ushered into our suite….If you do choose to occupy a suite, each suite is completely different from the others and is furnished and upholstered completely uniquely. Ours was plush and comfortable and I sank into the beautiful bed, suddenly exhausted after the previous night’s theatrical performance! Choose a historical suite…it is filled with history and perfect in every way!

A few hours of rest , I found out that I was unfortunately running a fever. The hotel staff was very worried- sending me medicines and home remedies. Never one to stop exploring, we were off to eat a delicious lunch at Adaa the Indian restaurant. Fabulous biryani, succulent kebabs and authentic hyderabadi cuisine at it’s best… I was already feeling a bit better.

And then it was off to the spa- the Jiva spa calmed me down and relaxed my aches and pains and after a quick dip in the small yet perfect pool, it was off to take a champagne tour of this iconic, historical hotel!The stories were interesting and funny. The rooms were well preserved and iconic. Every wall had a story. Every room had history. The Palace had been commissioned by Sir Nawab Vikar-Ul Umra, a Hyderabadi nobleman but caught the eye of the seventh Nizam of Hyderabad, Mahbub Ali Pasha, Sir Vikar’s brother-in-law, and Sir Vikar had no choice but to offer the Palace as a gift or ‘nazar’ to the Nizam! Later it was used as a guest house to several royal dignitaries heads of state and my very own Great-Great-Grandfather a member of the Viceroy’s Privy Council and a former President of the indian National Congress ( then a High Court Judge) had been a guest years earlier and it was absolutely wonderful to be able to see his signature (the one in red!) in the iconic comment book. Years ago, he had stood where we stood today !

After a truly thrilling afternoon, we were off to the verandah to watch live dancing and singing of sufi music and qawallis as the sun set on a perfect day. Dinner was at Celeste the italian restaurant and after a Royal bath that had been prepared for us in our room we were fast asleep cocooned in the soft, plush bed. A very filled but truly memorable day…!

We slept so soundly ,we almost missed our flight…and I was sad that I hadn’t been that well thru the one day we had spent at this beautiful hotel…!

But as luck would have it… I was back again…soon and this time with my whole family…! They loved it as much as I did and I was able to explore and wander around more of the hotel than I did the previous visit!

Would I go back? In a heart beat….! Hospitality that books are written about, incredible beauty and unforgettable experiences… Taj Faluknama Palace has all of that!

Cost-:$600 – $700 a night…well worth it to be treated like royalty!

Best Time to Travel-: October thru to February when the weather is cool , and slightly nippy else it does get more than a little hot in the summers…!

Help me!

“Help me!” – two words that have got such a bad reputation in the English language! “Help me!”- shows weakness.”Help me!”- shows inability. “Help me!”- is pathetic, laughable, unmanly,namby-pamby and just downright sad!

Instead of asking for help , it seems to make more sense to commit suicide, kill others, kill ourselves, commit divorce, burn children,abuse and hurt pets-those are the more acceptable solutions!

And I am angry. Not a shocker for those who know me….But now I’m really mad.

I do not want you to find a counselor or a support group or a really good friend- I want you to get help and be UNAFRAID TO ASK FOR IT!

In India we have always perceived those who’d seek a counselor’s help a little bit nuts… I mean you have to be a little mad to seek help that your friends and family can’t give you. I mean our parents never needed counseling- why the hell should we?!

But today is a different generation. We are a generation who don’t finish work at 6 p.m., who have to reply an email at 11:30 p.m. at night because that’s what ‘Smartphones ‘ are for, who have heart attacks in our 30’s because we’re a generation of plenty- plenty of food, technology AND stress! We are a generation who create smart Status Updates despite being laid off work or stuck with typhoid! We are a generation who misuse the words- “I’m fine”- because we don’t need pity, help, sad eyes! We are a generation who are anything but fine!

Our parents went home to family. They stopped work. They shared stresses. They had friends- some real friends that didn’t judge based on appearances. They had stresses. But they had people around to help.

I am angry some days. I am scared, tired, alone, afraid,outraged, shocked, violent. Some days I want to break a plate or 25 plates, or hit a wall or curl up and hide. And this is okay. Because I am human and it’s normal to feel a range of emotions – sometimes all at once and sometimes all in one day.

But let’s make it acceptable to ask for help. Talk to someone- friend, confidant, counselor- work out the stresses, the stressers, the anger, the pain. And let’s start healing before we keep exploding.

And as a friend to someone today when you ask them how they are- really mean it and… DON’T ACCEPT THE ANSWER -“I’m fine!”

J. W. Marriott in Bangkok

I travel to Bangkok a lot. From one of the dirtiest cities in the world 12-13 years ago, it’s cleaned up become fancier, more welcoming, more modern and just a wonderful shopping destination and a quick flight from Mumbai! I have therefore shifted a lot of hotels- hotels close to the malls, hotels out of the city… My new favourite however has to be the J.W. Marriott Bangkok.

Two MTR Stops away from Siam and a single stop away from central, this wonderful hotel gives me a bit of sanity from the frenetic mall culture of Bangkok! Towering gloriously above the fashionable Sukhumvit district, this hotel has a good mix of clientele ranging from long staying guests, businessmen to shopaholics like me!

If you do want to stay at the J.W. – I suggest you stay in the Executive Level rooms. For a very small additional charge you get to use the Lounge.The Lounge in the J.W. is tastefully decorated, spacious and has an indoor and out door sitting area as well as an internet area with a Tv and couches for a more relaxed coffee/ tea. Check-in is done on the 16th floor for Executive Level guests and the check-in is quick and efficient and over a cup of coffee and something to eat.

The Executive Level rooms are nice,though a tad small. You have free internet access everywhere in the hotel and the speeds are wonderful. For a super-connected social networking geek like me…that’s always a big plus!

Why do I like the lounge? Well firstly it’s large and the food is amazing! Unlike usual Hotel Lounges the tapas and hot meals vary every day!You have an incredible breakfast with a live egg station, japanese counter, cereal, cheese and bread counters and of course your customary cold cuts , sausages etc. If there’s something missing and you want it- they’ll make it for you! After breakfast , in case you get hungry by about 11:30 am or so…there’s always some muffins in the oven or some sandwiches and peanuts for you to grab and go with- along with a takeaway coffee or chilled soft drink/ juice. In the evening The Lounge has an array of drinks and wines. It also has salads, hot and cold tapas and wonderful live stations where burgers are flipped, fish is seared, rolls are made and sushi is rolled. Every night is usually a different theme – so after an American burger night with fries and onion rings (from their New York Steak house downstairs), don’t be surprised to go Japanese (from Tsu the Japanese restaurant) the following evening or Italian… The food is tasty, filling and perfect and after a long day on the streets of Bangkok or in the malls- it’s wonderful to unwind over a drink and fabulous food before you let the Bangkok nightlife draw you in!

Cost-: $260 a night approximately for the Executive Level room!

Best Times To Travel-: For me …any weekend I need to escape… but generally October to Jan are peak months with the weather being significantly cooler…else Bangkok is perfect for those like me who love the heat!

You are a survivor!

People are horrible. They are mean. They make opinions when they don’t know you. They are harsh, self centered, rude and callous. People are horrible. They lie to your face. They forget you. They replace you. They hurt you- knowingly, unknowingly. People are horrible.

But then there are some- a few among a swarm of hundred who accept you for who you are, who like you…maybe even love you.They laugh at the jokes you crack not because they’re good or even funny but because it’ll make you happy. They smile, laugh, hug you. They want to make you happy and they try. They may not succeed all the time but they try. These are the people that are worth calling people- because they are YOUR PEOPLE!

YOU are somebody’s person too- whether you realize it or not. You make someone laugh, someone happy, someone feel special.You make someone’s life worthwhile. You make them a priority even at times forgetting to prioritize yourself.

Life must be about YOUR PEOPLE.

More often than not we listen to the boos from the crowd, the criticism from those who are only critical and the harsh words from the haters. We do not hear the claps from that one person in the crowd who really cares, the person who is on our side- OUR PERSON! And we allow their voice to get drowned out by the boos. We allow their opinions to be stepped over by the haters. We stop listening because what do they really know?

People need people. Even if you’re an island and prefer solo time to talking to people- you need someone on your side …playing for your team. Find your people. Keep your people. Because people need people!

Drown out the haters. We are all survivors. Everyday. Even if we haven’t survived disease, or cheated death- we have each survived venomous hate, pointless anger, hurtful backbiting. We are each survivors.

Good morning. I’m a survivor and I’m proud and rather than spreading hate and anger, I choose to spread love and life.

Make the same choice too!

Have a great week!

Traveling Thai!

So we were off to Thailand… on one of our many quick weekend getaways! And though we usually favour Jet Airways because of the timing it arrives into Bangkok (approx 7:30 am) as opposed to the horrendous 5 am landing of Thai Airways, I read about the new Thai Business Class and wanted to see whether this 4 and a half hour journey could be made a bit better with flat beds and comfortable seats. Jet Business is wonderful usually but the seem to keep their older aircrafts with almost no recline specially reserved for the Mumbai- Bangkok sector and I was hoping for a bit of a change!

The Thai Airways website is difficult to navigate(to say the least). It is not user friendly and till recently did not even allow you to really book online in India. The website is still a bit loud and confusing with too many links and options but nothing really working! Still I had made up my mind and we were going to do it!

We entered the flight and were pleasantly surprised… The seats seemed wider than the previous Thai Business and seemed more comfortable than Jet. The leg room was enormous and with a nice new massage function, the chairs seemed to have an almost complete recline(though a touch too diagonal- I’d have preferred the 180 degree flat bed!). Either way I was happy! A warm towel and refreshing glass of orange juice later I was comfortably settled with an iPad and a blanket and ready to take off!

A menu was offered with a selection of cocktails and drinks and even apertifs and cappuccinos – a huge step up and something that Swiss Air Business Class should definitely take note of! In Swiss you can ask for a cappuccino only if there aren’t too many guests in First Class else they apparently can’t get you one else it’s ‘difficult!’… what are they worried about???—Overworking a nespresso machine, or running out of milk? I’m a caffeine addict… hence I was impressed! No fuss- warm coffee- lattes, expressos, cappuccinos…the works!! The menu was tasty and complete- with salads and starters and amuse bouche’s included with wine pairings through the courses.

We were also introduced to the lovely Suda who was in charge of the flight that evening who took it upon herself personally to check with each guest whether all their requests had been met!

Fabulous service, good food and comfortable seats- I reached Mumbai refreshed and ready to take on the world again! Yay!

I must let you in to a bit of a secret though- the local Thai Business flight that we took to Koh Samui…. was EVEN BETTER… with fully reclinable seats and an entertainment menu that actually made me close my iPad and start watching what they were showing on screen… I’m glad the International flights have also been upgraded!

The flight to Mumbai is 4 1/2 hrs but after traveling the new Thai Business Class…I don’t see myself returning to Jet Airways in a hurry!

We’re all still teenagers trying to grow up!

We’re all just teenagers trying to grow up… We’ve aged a bit, got a couple of grey strands or may be more. We’re married/ settled/ seeing someone/ broken it off/ still single! We have jobs and cars. We pay mortgages, pay off loans, go in and out of debt! We’re old enough to drink and vote and sometimes can’t figure out whether the drink or the politician is the lesser of two evils! We have our own money, make up our own minds(most of the time), have a job, a life… and yet we’re still teenagers trying to grow up!

We’re as insecure but we mask it better. We’re as scared but we’ve learnt to pretend to be confident. We’re as alone but we’ve learnt to surround ourselves with pretty things, fancy gadgets and fast cars and maybe even a trophy wife/husband/girl friend but we still hide our fears, our worries , our personal failings…

But teenagers are given a break. They are allowed to be irrational because- “well they are teens!” They are allowed to break down, cry, scream, yell, slam doors and all is forgotten and forgiven as they are young and going through life changes…!

Well give yourself a break… Life changes all the time and whereas we may be a little older and not a lot wiser- life is still changing for all of us! And it’s okay to want to bang doors sometimes, or yell at the top of your voice because you’re so mad, or just cry! It’s okay to feel scared,insecure and unsure…even when you’re supposed to know everything and every one and supposed to have it all under control- it’s okay to ask for help! I figure ‘Life’ as this person- wise, older, smarter than us and well…OLDER!(Yes I know I said that- I’m repeating…for effect!) so that being said… you’re always teenager in the eyes of ‘Life’… It has more experience and you are allowed to give yourself a break sometimes and stop being so hard on yourself! It’s all the fun of growing up !

So the next time you make a mistake…take a breath! There’ll be plenty more mistakes and plenty more heartaches but there’ll also be plenty more firsts and there are several more first times left…!

It’s okay not to be sure of where you’re going or who you want to be…that’s the fun of life… you can keep finding new things about yourself, find new talents, make new habits- it keeps you alive and keeps the excitement going!

Enjoy the adventure and NEVER GROW UP!

26/11- Moving forward

I had written another post for today and was about to post it when I felt i should write about something that’s been so important to me for the last 4 years.

4 years ago today our city was besieged by terror attacks and for the first time in my life-I was scared, unsure of tomorrow and afraid to step outside. I didn’t sleep for days and when I did, I dreamt of blood, gore, screaming and fear. With the help of my friend Mr. Sivanandan and my encouraging husband – I set about to interview survivors and their families. I needed to find something positive from all the death,destruction and sorrow of that mindless massacre.

And every year , we’ve been going to different continents and telling people about our stories, our survivors, our heroes-names you’ve never heard of, people you’d pass by on the street but people who showed exemplary courage in the face of senseless rage and irrational hate and survived those 48 hours. Every year I’ve re-interviewed a few, re-assessed where they are and asked them how they feel and kept in touch. And telling the stories made a difference- not just to those we told it to…but to each one of us and giving the proceeds away made us feel that we were in some way, able to help contribute to a change.

Men and women died that night protecting one another. People survived using skills they didn’t know they had, calling on bravery they didn’t know they possessed. And we went on. We should have learnt from them. We can still learn.

Instead of inculcating fear, we must learn to live- not to just survive and go but to understand and to appreciate the value of life- yours and the people around you. We must focus on the moment and have faith in ourselves and in others because help can come from the most unexpected sources and it’s never hard to just do good and be nice.

We were all chosen to survive because of those who gave up their lives instead. But life is about making positive changes and trying to make your life count and the only way we can do that is making every moment of our lives make a difference – to ourselves, to those around us.

It’s 26/11 again now…and it’s four years later. Ask yourself- Have you made a change? If you haven’t… it’s not too late…! Next year- same time- I’ll check in!

26/11- Never Forget!

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