Living, loving, breathing!

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In this busy,busy world of deadlines and time sensitive jobs , where work is more important than family in most occasions ; these short trips give you a time to reconnect to what’s really important.

Why are you working so hard …if its not for those you live and care about?
What’s the point of a promotion if no one can celebrate with you or a great raise with no one to buy anything for or share it with?

This weekend is about re connecting,re caring and seeing how small we are in the larger picture of life!!!

I mean sure we are all heroes in our own life story but did you ever stop and think that the world is so much larger than just you? Life has so many wonders, nature has so much beauty, the world is so much bigger than just you.

When you stop making your problems the biggest in the world and stop seeing your hurdles as insurmountable and see how tiny you are in the larger scheme of things…the lightness that you feel is unreal!

For the first time in 3 months , I’ve slept like an angel…. And God I feel alive!!!

Risky romance!

Zdnet the most annoying web hosting server ever and so last week all the updates that I had made for the last 2 months were thrown to waste!!!!

This is possibly the third time in 2 years they’ve wiped out all updates and when I return to Mumbai I shall have to redo all my work- kind of like cleaning up a house and then some idiot throwing a kegger and then NOT cleaning up after!!!

WHEN I RETURN
 

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Currently I am in a private paradise celebrating my SIXTH anniversary with Aditya!

The day started with Breakfast in bed ( my romantic husband’s idea) followed by a Boxing lesson ( my idea) and now we’re on to more adventures! The boxing has been a step in the right directions as far as Aditya is concerned.My previous anniversaries have had us diving with sharks , jumping off planes and other mortally threatening romantic plans so boxing besides the high kicks and the mean left hook that I have was relatively harmless so far!!

That’s what marriage has taught us! What he likes and what I like our totally different- the trick is to do a little bit of both and (in my case) try to not kill him while I’m at it!


Play On ( dedicated to all those I’ve ever worked with on stage and all those who love theatre!)

 

I have been doing professional theatre ever since I was 14 years old. Theatre has given me a home, given me a voice, given me confidence and even found me a husband!

‘Sound of Music,’ taught me to sing and I have been singing ever since. My taste in music is questionable…but nonetheless I’ll sing it for you!

’The Verdict,’ is the first play Aditya and I produced. I remember booking all the halls for ‘The Verdict’ without having a single sponsor and then 4 days before we opened; Sponsors came pouring inand suddenly despite us having booked halls for 10 shows we were both suddenly on the phone 24×7 trying to find more free dates at halls! Theatre gave me the confidence to dream!

When we produced ‘The Graduate,’ I learnt I could teach new actors.All my theatre experience could help others and I loved it! Theatre gave me a sense of pride!

When I started ‘Imps’ no one in India had ever heard of Improvisational theatre. I made people realise that theatre was fun and most of the audiences we had had never been to a theatrebefore! Most of the actors hadn’t either! Theatre helped me meet new people!

With ‘My Way,’ I taught new writers how to write and helped new directors put up their first show! Some of them have become very talented directors today and I am proud!

In the ‘Wizard of Oz,’ with my pet puppy Cookie on stage to hold on to ,I learnt to believe in myself again! After my single attack of Multiple Sclerosis (ADEM), I was a little under confident in the spotlight. ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ had that spot light shining on me for hours. I faced my illness head on and won!

‘Starring You and Me!’ helped realise a cherished dream of acting opposite Aditya, my husband, rather than just directing him! I still remember the premiere night’s standing ovation! After all these years on stage…I still wept!

‘A Personal War- Stories of the Mumbai Terror Attacks,’ has won me awards the world over! I won ‘Best Fringe Show’ for a Free Showperformed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival; ‘Best Director’ at the New York International Fringe Festival and ‘ Best Producer,’ ‘Best Director’, ‘Best Writer’ and ‘Best Performer’ most recently at the Sydney Fringe Festival. But here I learnt that I am the most thorough trip planner, the worst navigator and one of the best producers’ a team could hope for. We exhausted ourselves in performance but as a team we’re family! I made that happen!

With ‘Love Bytes,’ I learnt that underneath my tough exterior , I have a funny side. I loved making fun of myself and others and the audience seemed to love it too!

And with the new show ‘FourPlay’ I have enjoyed the comedy even more. I am taking risks on actors. I am enjoying myself more directing. This is a show I have written and over all these years with my new found confidence as a writer, comic and a director -I am pulling out all the stops!

I love theatre because every time I think I know myself and all that I am capable of; a new show reveals a side of me that I never knew I had.

Theatre has taught me that I am obsessive compulsive, thoughtful, irritable, unpredictable, stubborn, childish, mature and young! It has shown me that even during my best scripted plays that sometimes the best show isn’t the premiere show; it’s what you do every day at rehearsal!

Things I learnt this year… (about me!)

As every year comes to an end we look forward to a new beginning…not really a new beginning because come monday morning and its just another monday morning except now the new year’s Monday seems to be even scarier than all other Mondays having the ridiculous responsibility of a full year in front of it…! But at the end of the year…we seem to press re-start…All pour dreams that we couldn’t fulfill or make time for now has another whole year to come true….its exciting, romantic and wondrous- the new year and all of its millions of possibilities!

But to give the old year credit…I did learn a few incredible things so here goes!

  1. You can never make enough time for the one/ ones you love because love cannot be measured in time….its value supersedes all…In the end of the day life is not a pay check or home address it’s the laughter and joy of families and friends and i am so very grateful for both!
  2. I have a wanderlust and want to travel everywhere…I always knew I was a wanderer but visiting Athens, Tasmania, the dessert and Udaipur makes me realise it doesn’t matter where…i need to wander, to learn, to breathe!
  3. I have learnt to partially control my bad days….I have bad days on and off because of my nuero illness…Accepting them was hard; going thru them harder. But now I know when to slow down, how to slow down and how to get back up and I am infinitely happier!
  4. I have the power to forgive…who knew!!!? Divya, the hard ass with the unforgiving temper can forgive! Forgiveness for me doesn’t mean I forget….it just means that I can open my heart out to you slowly again…that in itself is a huge step for me! And I’m learning to stop judging people on my harsh Divya scale…that only disappoints and its always nice to have friends. For all you know on their scale you might be failing too!
  5. I have learnt to laugh …full bodied , loud and God that relaxes me!
  6. I have learnt that the only critics you need are also your biggest supporters….please them and you’re doing ok!
  7. I have learnt that when life throws you a curve ball -stop blaming life and get on with the game…If you don’t complain …you’ll move on stronger and win!
  8. I’ve learnt its better to have an opinion than no opinion at all and it’s better to elicit opinions of others–good or bad…because the worst is if people are indifferent…Indifference = lack of caring and I need all the care I can get!
  9. Surprises are always fabulous! So surprise someone today! Make their day!
  10. Nothing makes me happier than a warm cup of coffee …! (hint, hint aditya!)

 

happy countdown to the new year all!

 

Living to LIVE! (my life can’t fit in 140 characters!)

So the Blackberry’s attached and you’re completely hooked up…there’s a wifi zone almost everywhere and wherever the .pdf’s are too small or difficult to read on your phone there’s the iPad or the laptop to keep you company. You know more now than you ever did about the world, peoples lives and even their bedrooms -you are TOTALLY IN THE LOOP and IN TOUCH but completely unconnected with the real world still!

Ironic! We spend more time responding to emails and more time updating statuses than picking up the phone and asking how someone is. Lives change over night but unless you put yours in a status update precious few even care!

Emails have to be answered immediately with no thought being given to personal lives or personal time! We’re completely in sync with everyone else’s lives but we’ve forgotten to live our own!

This realization hit me when a friend asked how I’d been….now this last few weeks have been un-fun(I know that’s not a word, but what the heck). Hospital visits, blood tests and doctors have dominated a lot of my life and unless you read in between the lines of my ‘oh-far-too positive for no apparent reason’ bb updates or status updates you would never know. I quickly updated her and she said…” hey! why didn’t you call?’ and then I realised I could have, should have, would have but in the mass of work emails and work commitments because well you gotta do all that crap NOW cos what are you connected for!?, I’d forgotten to connect with a real person…I’d forgotten to talk, to share my fears, to feel , to cry!

I realised I want to be more than just a  Facebook friend…I wanna have friends I actually see! i don’t want to not recognise you cos you look so different in your FB Photo-I want to know how you really look…I want to know more than a 140 character twitter update cos your life is more important and so is mine…

In this mad rush of trying to live at the top of the rat race , I’d become just that – a rat! Only I’m sure since their not forced to remain connected all the time- they actually sleep, eat and maybe go out for a nibble of cheese or garbage to ‘JUST TALK!’

 

What I WANT from THE INDIAN GOVERNMENT & what I think INDIA DESERVES!

What happened on the 13th of July 2011 was unforgivable and I wrote about it! the responses and calls I got were overwhelming…it seemed like alot of us felt this way. Someone from the BBC called last night and asked me a very pertinent question- what do I want? Well I though I could list a few things that would make me feel safer and I’m all for more suggestions, more opinions and more wants!

  1. I  want somebody to be the face to take the onus of what has happened and to spearhead a change! Instead of politicians hiding behind their money-minting portfolios and the bullet proof car windows- I want someone to say- ” Hi! I am in charge and I will do my best to personally ensure this NEVER happens again and the perpetrators are brought to justice!!!
  2. I want someone from the government to NOT HAVE TO READ FROM A SHEET OF PAPER TO TELL YOU HOW OUTRAGED THEY ARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!! You don’t need to read about how angry you are! You NEED TO FEEL IT!!!!!! I wantt our Prime Minister and President to speak to their citizens! I want to not hear that they are outraged in small print under an actual news report! THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT PUT THEM IN POWER!
  3. Someone from the government must be on the news minutes after the attacks to keep the calm and give us the CORRECT INFORMATION! I heard of 2 attacks, 3 attacks, 4 …new bomb sites and even more disturbing news till almost 120 minutes later we got official news from the Home ministry!
  4. Stop going on television an telling people not to indulge in rumour mongering- tell them how many blasts have happened, where, how many are dead and where the injured are at- GIVE THEM THE FACTS!
  5. don’t say its our fault cos we elected these leaders- we’re not really given a choice! There’s criminals, murderers and cheats on our ballot polls. Its almost a joke that if you haven’t shot, killed, raped or looted someone you can’t get into politics! CRIMINALS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE IN OFFICE- NO MATTER WHAT THE CRIME!
  6. WE MUST be ALLOWED to use our NO VOTE OPTION and the candidates MUSTN’T BE ALLOWED TO RE-STAND for election!
  7. Instead of using 4 sets of cars per politician for security purposes- we should use the money to secure our cities!!! After all- the politicians will live but the way the attacks are progressing, sometimes it’s doubtful they’ll have any alive in the constituencies they represent!
  8. Instead of making promises just during election, government officials must have a monthly/ tri-monthly report card to see what they’ve done!
  9. STOP SPREADING POLITICS AT THE TIME OF SUCH A TRAGEDY! NONE OF THE PARTIES THUS FAR HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SECURE US! YOU ARE ALL TO BLAME!
  10. Stop having VIP Visits in hospital just for the show and PR!!! We needed you to save our innocent victims, not to console them with empty promises and thoughtless words! it makes for great PR! BUT THIS IS JUST NOT THE TIME!
  11. Instead of cops skulking around corners to catch the one car that broke a light so they can make money of bribes- we want them to dismantle illegal parking places like the one at Zaveri Bazaar!
  12. If you have the Intelligence that the city is under threat- DEPLOY COPS— ITS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN DEAD!
  13. Stop worrying about losing votes- worry about saving lives!
  14. STOP THE COWARDICE- 1500 RAPES, 1 BROAD DAY LIGHT MURDER & 3 TERRORIST ATTACKS IN 2 1/2 MONTHS!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY! MAYBE our cops and politicians need to stop bending over backwards to keep the moneyed terrorists and vote banks happy! we need to take a stand and punish the guilty!If the men at the helm our cowards- our city had no chance!
  15. GIVE US JUSTICE AFTER THE KASAB TRIAL. WE MIGHT BE DEMOCRATIC- but do we need to be IDIOTIC!??People have suffered. Hundreds have testified. Many died! We have the proof and yet we let him stay in our jails, eat our food, and cost our tax payers CRORES OF RUPEES! USE THAT MONEY TO PROTECT OUR CITY instead of PROTECTING YOUR IMAGE IN FRONT OF TERROR GROUPS!!!
We’re a country who works to ensure that the evil get a fair trial but many of our good don’t get a fair life and sometimes don’t even get a fair death!
i want to stop looking over my shoulder. i want start feeling safe. this is my home and if i’m not safe here, how is that fair? Mumbai is like a war zone…except we don’t fight back and we keep getting killed! It’s time for Delhi, our government, politicians and cops to take charge and KEEP US SAFE!

 

Mumbai can’t keep bouncing back! IT’S NOT A BALL!!!!!!

 

Yesterday’s blasts were a familiar reminder of the tears and horror that Mumbai is systematically put through almost as a sad reminder every 2/ 3 years! We call the city, ‘Ma’ (mother) and ‘Devi’ (Goddess) and yet we allow terror to rape her heartlessly and brutally repeatedly again and again and again!!!!

And sure the ‘ SPIRIT’ of Mumbai will return. people will go back to work, because we still have to earn. Schools will re-open cos children still have to learn and politicians will express outrage because they STILL have to be voted in to power! For how long????!!! Why must we continually hide behind the shield of the ‘ SPIRIT OF MUMBAI?’ How long must we abuse this spirit, must we debase and defile this spirit before WE AS A CITY FINALLY FEEL WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEMAND ANSWERS!!!!!

SOMEONE MUST TAKE THE BLAME!

No other city continuously allows herself to be ravaged over and over again without someone at the top taking charge, taking a stance and making a difference!

1300 registered rape cases in Maharashtra in the last 3 months, 1 broad daylight killing and 3 BOMB BLASTS- what more do we need to show up the ineffectuality of the current government and police system!!!???

THERE IS NO POINT OF CANDLELIGHT MARCHES and VIGILS. Those that have left us- our prayers and outrage cannot help them now.

What we can do is demand justice, demand a change and instead of allowing terrorists to celebrate Ajmal Kasab’s birthday yesterday with bomb blasts- finally lets give the 26/11 victims justice and LET’S DEMAND JUSTICE and ACTION for those lives so brutally shattered on 13/7/2011.

This morning as the rain pours , it’s like the heaven’s themselves are weeping over the innocence lost in a city last night… Let’s wipe our tears and kill corruption and terror with one blow. This is the only time ‘killing’ is justified!

 

is he the one & happy birthday aditya ;-) ( p.s. aditya IS the one…)

so….people (friends and blog readers…so also friends;-)) keep asking how you know…? how do you know if he’s the one? what is there’s someone just ’round the corner who’s better? do bells ring when you know you’re with the right one? does your heart skip a beat ( p.s. YES it skips many beats!!!!…you might think you have heart problems 😉 )?

HOW DO YOU KNOW!????

well i’ve always been a nerd…but sometimes in love and life that’s a good thing…I’d say make a list… an ideal person list! yup the fairytale variety and then start writing out the non negotiable and the negotiable…

for e.g.

NON NEGOTIABLE

  1. Male/ female
  2. Religion (if your religious)
  3. Family- how he treats his…./ or how he sees family…
  4. Where he wants to live (you can’t realistically live your entire lives in 2 different continents!)
  5. how does he/ she make you feel- does he make you smile!!! he definitely shouldn’t be the one making you cry….
  6. does he make you want to be a better person( even if ur pretty awesome …do you still wanna be better?)
  7. does he encourage you to achieve?
  8. is he part of your cheering squad!?? is he on your side??
  9. does he make you feel safe
  10. does he make you feel stronger?

etc. … you get the idea

NEGOTIABLE

  1. Looks (they go/ change/become better/ worse)
  2. Money (life changes as does the markets!)
  3. Night person/ morning person
  4. Cleanliness- YOU CAN CHANGE THAT! 😉
  5. Hobbies/ sports /…. you can get a hobby / play a sport together…. (that would be funner(yes thats my new word!))

Once you write your list -give it to your best friend and make sure they help you stick to it!!! or make sure you stick to it!!! Don’t ever change the non-negotiables cos you’ll always feel you’ve changed yourself or given up something and that will only make you feel negative…make you feel like you’ve compromised! The Negotiables- change/ cut/ add/ subtract–!

when you get someone good- grab them…with both hands and all your heart cos guess what they’re might be a hundred people better but there’s one person who’s ‘just right’ for you and you don’t wanna spend your whole life looking for the better opportunity and end up without someone to come home to….

remember he’s not a better job opportunity…he’s a person and with the right person…you can go all the way the top- workwise and happiness-wise!

in the same breath…happy birthday to my one…! we fight, we change, we move, we grow…but we do it together. thank you aditya…i love you.

…cos it’s all in my head! ( aka what women want!)

that’s the difference often between happiness and the IDEAL of happiness….my husband taught me very early in life ( by default of course) that men have absolutely NO IDEA what you want, what you’re thinking or why you are in that obnoxious mood….you want to him to learn, you want him to know- TELL HIM!!!

Men are less complicated than we give them credit for and actually pretty straight forward. yes, sure some of them still have the wait 3 days before calling rule or the ‘pretending’ that their cool with you not being committed to them is kind of their only games and since we girls know the rules; these games are not the fairest of games!

So what do women want– men just ask them and women stop playing the ‘if you knew me, you would know…’ game and just blurt it out! stop imagining that one day he’s going to get it all ‘just right’, because he doesn’t know what ‘just right’ is unless you tell him at least once!!! And yup, just tell them. no games. i want commitment. i want coffee. i want to go to see a rom- com! i like birthdays!!! tell them what you want…its a heck of a lot easier and you’ll be a heck of a lot happier…because in time your man will keep it in mind and get everything ‘JUST RIGHT!’ …just the way you had it up in your head!!!

on the flip side maybe you’re both wanting different things..isn’t it easier you know now than 5 years down the line!!! so talk, shout, COMMUNICATE!

it’s not their fault for screwing it up…if you don’t tell them what they screwed up in the first place…right!

love byte(n) and already missing the bytes!

so the last month has been full of jet set getaways, 5 am flights, hectic rehearsals and even some outdoor shows! Yes! In summer! But it was also filled with tons of laughter, 9 people dinners, strange ‘dance’ movements, marco polo games in pools and tons of pranks! To say that this was undoubtedly one of my most ‘funnest’ (yes that’s a word now!) summers would be an understatement!

We move to the final weekend for the final show in Chennai of this tour of ‘Love bytes’ and I have to say i’m going to miss it all! I have done so many plays over the years, made so many friends…but this group has almost become like family!..so here goes

The cast comprises of Aditya my beloved husband and uber star when he comes for my productions…he needs sleep, rest and work out time! I love it I love him!

Gaurav, who’s petrified before he does his lines and before a show. He is also the person who most recommends the 5 am flights back on sunday mornings…

Rashi– who dances in her sleep …no I mean really…she comes into every hotel looking like she is sleep walking and yet she dances on the elevator music like a star!

Sanket– he’s done shows from A Personal War to Love bytes and a strong reason for his love for Balancing Act Productions is my uber handsome husband! No they just play trial pursuit and other silly games on his phone…what did you think I was talking about!

Chaiti- the newest member of the cast…always with the latest goss and the coolest places to hang out…chaiti is a Walking-Party-Pages (pun on yellow pages if you didn’t get it!)

Areesz-with his huge tattoos and his working out mania is eventually just a big ol’ softy!

Niranjan– he’s the Assistant Director & Sound guy in the show and takes our non-stop harassment and taunts…He also doesn’t know how to swim….something we learnt after we pushed him into the pool!

Michael– Lighting director extraordinaire–unless ofcourse he’s fed up of the scene and he blacks you out 😉

Things I’m gonna miss (in no particular order…and just a few of them)

  1. Watching my ipad 2 in the plane with Michael as he falls asleep. He pretends he’s watched but there’s no way he has …after all im the one lifting his spectacles and dropping them back on his nose every few minutes of the flight….if he didn’t pick up on that …he’s definitely not watching csi!!!
  2. Seeing Sanket in a shirt ( that messy sod comes in the same black t-shirt to every show…not superstition just plain lazy but quickly puts on his crushed shirt as he enters the hotel to impress me! i love the shirt– crushes n all!)
  3. Pranks on Chaiti (my goodness she is the easiest to prank and I enjoy it thoroughly….)! I’ll probably still prank her in Chennai and she’ll probably still fall for it!
  4. Almost drowning Niranjan in the swimming pool while playing marco Polo cos he couldn’t swim!
  5. Watching Gaurav finish ALL the water…there’s never enough bottles!!…We’re lucky the sea is salty!
  6. Areesz and his ironing!
  7. Aditya and his silly football matches and worse still conning us all to see it with him!
  8. Rashi, rashi, rashi….she had her foot in her mouth and ensured that it stayed there (mostly for sanket’s and my amusement!)…she was funny, is funny and wow- she made us laugh!!!

I’M GONNA MISS THEM & AFTER RASHI’S EMAIL LAST NIGHT…I THINK THEY MIGHT MISS ME TOO…

I love you guys…this has been an incredible summer, an incredible journey and some incredible friendships…

p.s.-: I’m no softy so you’ll still get the post-mortem of the previous show before Chennai’s finale! 😉