Life’s not fair

Life’s not fair- a complaint that plagues even the most optimistic of us. And you’re right. It’s the friend who you thought would pick up the phone when you needed them or the pitch that was stolen by the lazy incompetent colleague who pretended the idea was his or just being surrounded by sloth, carelessness and general apathy when you give all that you have for a person , an idea or a moment.

I have realised that you can’t control others and their attitude. All you can control is how you choose to deal with them. I have often been heartbroken when I care about someone- (friend or colleague) deeply and they let me down by not caring the same amount or believing in us the way I do. And now over the years I slowly am getting over it.

I have always been the one giving 100% to relationships – work or personal that I care about. But that too is my choice. Much like waves, some of the water stays and some it goes back- people often come in to our life for a reason. When the reason is fulfilled , most will go away. Those that you are left with are those that have more to give you and more to learn from you and those that leave have served their purpose and you theirs.

You can’t stop caring, turning up or giving your cent percent to life because every so often you will get the opportunity you’ve been dreaming of, meet the person you were destined to meet and live the life you absolutely deserve. The bumps on the way only make you realise how good the goods are and appreciate those moments so much more.

My grandfather always said life was full of ups and downs – how boring life would be if it were one straight line. Compare that to a heart monitor and you realise that he’s right… the ups and downs make the journey. Without that, using the same example, we’re quite literally dead !

P.s. (Palat says)-: Pitching season is the longest, toughest, hardest and most exhilarating season! On one hand Mondays are the best and most exciting – on the other TGIF!

Will you Be My Valentine?

I love love. I love being loved. I love the whole feeling of love and I love to love! If there’s one day that means the world to me – it’s Valentines Day!

Over the years I have heard the cynics say ‘well love can happen on any day.’ And here’s the thing I agree. But if it can happen on any day the why can’t it happen on Valentines Day too!

By that notion- each of us could celebrate the new year on any day and several religions do and yet December 31st is celebrated as the New Year’s Eve and we wish each other and party and enjoy the happiness that envelops us as the new year approaches!

So on Valentines , it’s cupcakes in the office and a few more for those I love. It’s flowers and more everywhere I look and I always try to have a few surprises for my embarrassed better (?) half. This year I had a serenader serenade the husband in the middle of the office, as he blushed a shot shade of pink! The serenader sang well. The pink looked perfect for the occasion !

And I get that one day isn’t enough to show you care or that this may be a Hallmark holiday but I think if I can make a lil more effort on one day it’s better than not making any effort at all or just sliding along by saying that we don’t need to show we care.

Life has to be full of moments and days like these allow you to think those moments through a little more.

In a world of hate, and I say this having read about the horrific , cowardly attack in Kashmir; is it so bad to try and fill others’ lives with love?

In a world of anger, stress, hunger and sadness- even if you don’t have your lobster-can’t you spread love to a person around you? A friend, a relative, a loved one, a colleague or just someone you feel needs it?

And if there’s one day that can glorify a powerful positive feeling like love- shouldn’t we all enjoy it!

If I were given my way- there’d be a Valentines Day every month!

P.s. (Palat says)-: A long week of pitching some incredible characters in beautiful stories …On wards to next week and let’s make Magic!

Don’t just Turn Up!

The last week was a medley of emotions for me… At first I had the Low- MS Lows are a little tough for me not because of Multiple sclerosis but because I find it difficult to get out of the funk. Add to that the miserable diet and crazy exercise routine continued. But what really got me is the fact that in life- most people just turned up for life and let it happen. They didn’t actually SHOW UP!

Now here’s the difference- turning up is what we do. We turn up to school, turn up to our job, turn up to parties or social engagements- but showing up- that’s totally different! Showing up is recognising you are there and going on and making a difference! It’s about making sure the day is better than when you came in… It’s about challenging yourself to do more, be more and really and truly enjoying and being present in the moment!

Sure, we can get through most of life on autopilot by just turning up. But who wants to go through moments, years and decades not having actually been or tried to have been the best version of themselves.

My chat at work was all about that- I have a team that I hope I can inspire, lead and learn from that I hope will all be able to look back at each day and feel that they made a difference or that they achieved something- anything. I hope that they enjoy each day for the uniqueness it brings and remember that every day brings opportunity and is a gift that they cannot get back—ever.

Once I started spring cleaning those who just were turning up as opposed to showing up- my mood changed cos you can’t allow the drifters to dictate your mood; you have to allow those that are present to. They deserve that and you deserve that too! The husband thinks that sometimes I expect too much from those in my life- but I believe that it’s my life and surely I can work to make it the best version of my life it can be! And so I will be there and present for this who are there and present for me.

We can’t ‘Groundhog Day’ our life. And to truly enjoy the every moment – surround yourself with people who also choose to be present- not just there but to be active and present in your life!

P.s. (Palat says)-:Don’t let people speed date your life- they must be present in your life and you in theirs. Don’t look at a day as something that must end- look at it as something you must be present for.

Demystifying the Drama

And the first month ended… it took its own sweet time, but it ended. It had all the makings of a semi successful potboiler, with lows and highs, new meetings and friendships all perfectly tied up with even a song and dance thrown in for good measure!

The diet held, the exercise continued strong and inspite of a few bouts of ill health; all seemed bearable.

My insight this month was all about human behaviour. I started spending more time with people, learning to laugh more and observe more and that helped my writing and characterisations so much! I wrote more than I ever have in a long time.

I also demystified people and Clients. May be I’m just getting old but I realised much of what happens even in meetings has nothing to do directly with you. We come to work with our own baggage- a sick relative, bad night of no sleep or a fight with the taxi driver or spouse and well sometimes meetings and people (including you) are just collateral damage! I’ve probably done this numerous times myself at work where a bad morning has defined the magnitude of my annoyance at work with a co-worker and now I’ve decided to call it out. So as much as possible, I warn people in the morning if I’ve had a trying day or if my mood is off so that they learn that I may need space and that much of what I say may not be as harsh as it seems.

I , also learnt to trust people a bit more. No I’m not at that stage where I am giving you my life story and deepest fears just yet ; but maybe and this is still a maybe; not every one is out to get me and may be I might make a friend or two!

Onwards to Valentines month my favourite date , except for my birthday where all my mush seems acceptable and all my excessive love of love seems to be ok… see you next Friday… Have a great weekend

P.s. (Palat says)-: In my pursuit of my studying of human behaviour, I have a party this weekend… I’ll let you know more about my poor unsuspecting guinea pigs next week

The Great GIVE UP

And so the last week of January draws up and before you know it all the ‘new puppy feeling’ of 2019 has gone and it’s been replaced by -‘oh my God , it’s another year!’ This was never seen more clearly when we walked in to an almost empty gym realising that a whole bunch of resolutions had been broken and more than a few gym memberships would now go in to storage!

How do you keep going on… when everything inside you is ready to shut shop and sleep ? Or how do you continue a day’s drudgery when you are dreaming of a vacation, a new adventure or even just a change!

My theory is that we should take each day as a separate item- something with a beginning, middle and end. By making it part of the larger year, or even our larger life- it’s just a drop in the ocean but if that day can be all you are focussing on then the morning could be filled with the excitement of January; lunch could be filled with gossip and the chatter of a May summer vacation and the end of the day can be filled with candle light and warmth of December… And you can go thru all these emotions and feelings within just a single day.

We choose to get overwhelmed by the magnitude of life.

We choose to just slot each day in a matchbox and forget about it’s sameness.

We choose to not focus on the moment but instead plan for a future that may or may not happen.

It’s up to us to change our choices.

To most of us, a day is just a dozen meetings.

This week , I made a meeting more than that.

At a script narration, I chose to be in that space at that time. The discussion was riveting. The people were curious , questioning and interesting. I was focused , in the moment and alive and I remember every second of it.

It wasn’t just another meeting… it was almost tangible and how can you give up on experiences like that!

Life is a bunch of experiences. We can choose to be passive watchers as the roller coaster rides by or we can get on and enjoy the ride. I , for one, have always said yes to rollercoasters!

P.s. (Palat says)-: A lot of what I write is therapeutic for me – at that time, on that day. So I’m so glad that people are connecting. We’re all in this journey together… it’s important to learn on the way! Henceforth however this will be a FRIDAY BLOG only…as now my writing skills have been called on by a few content hubs and brands… so lots of writing, lots of opinions, lots of stories and hopefully lots of luck! SEE YOU FRIDAY!

The Devil Inside

The Devil gets a bad rep from us all the time… whenever we are thinking of something bad to do we’re consistently blaming it on the red man on our shoulder with horns not realising that there is no red man on our shoulder… and that there voice goading us on is just our own!

That’s the thing with bad habits and broken resolutions… we can make as many excuses as we like but eventually it’s up to us to hold ourselves accountable for our own actions.

To make a change, any change, we have to start with being accountable to continue keeping on the path of change.

I have never been a 5 am girl. Late night work, late snacks, long evenings… that’s always been my thing. But in my effort to get fitter, feel better over the last 6 months it’s been a 5 am wake up call and 2 hrs of exercise.

Needless to say there have been so many excuses not to wake up and so many complaints from my joints, my body and my brain. But there’s been just one excuse to get up- better health= better me!

A friend called up in December and rued… every night had been long nights- he was just not feeling fit any more! Can’t run. Just so exhausted – he needed a drink every night to crash. Didn’t I? It had been a hectic few months for me and excuses to stop my routine and pretend that giving in to bad habits was temporary and something ‘I had no choice in.’ But the truth of life is – we always have a choice. More often than not one choice is much easier and offers little or no effort- to give in to your weaknesses, to pamper your cravings, to feed the beast- but the more difficult choice is usually to do the right thing- the thing the inner voice inside us constantly pushes and who we try to drown out with our bad habits. And though that voice goes softer and softer but it never truly goes away…

So I held strong in December and I keep holding strong though on certain days I have to say my resolve is weak. I’d like to sleep in, I want cake and I could do with a definite break in my God awful exercise routine- but then again I make a conscious choice , albeit a difficult one- Will the Devil be my slave ? Or would I rather be a slave to him?

And truth be told- I’m nobody’s slave!

P.s. (Palat says)-: The Devil’s not an evil man with red horns.. more often than not it’s the face in the mirror staring right at us ! I’m gonna keep my inner Devil reserved for costume parties and Halloween!

Friend me?

It has never been easy for me to make friends…’Shocking!’ those of you who know me well will laugh! I mean I’m loud, opinionated, bossy and extremely goal-driven. That doesn’t leave a bunch of space in my life for relationships or friendships! And since I started working very young… having done my first film at 17, I never really had much of a college life or those life-long friendships people keep harping over!

Getting into films and TV young was great! It also meant lots of parties and lots of superficial acquaintances which made my ‘choice’ of ‘friendlessness’ the smart choice. And once I found my ‘Crab’ -( yes that shall be the husband’s name for today), I didn’t seem to need anyone else. He understood my insecurities, he embraced my weirdness and he even seem to like (or at least put up with) my bossiness! So from FOMO (Fear of missing out) I began enjoying my Crab and started loving JOMO (the Joy of missing out). Loud parties were replaced with game nights. Filmy parties became movie marathon nights and pub hopping was replaced with traveling to different countries and exploring them together…

But then this year, I started wondering that in all my JOMO whether I had actually even tried creating more than my single friendship? Had I actually even given people a chance? In all my fear of people not liking or caring for me had I just consciously avoided even the chance to get to know them?

Some friends had had babies. Babies became children and mothers’ groups were a great excuse to form relationships. Those who’d moved in to the city away from family needed a support system and hence were forced to find friends… In my little self sufficient Puppy- Crab world since I had never been forced to look- had I automatically just stayed in my shell?

So along with the new food plan, I decided to create a new social plan and decided with the Universe that I was going to start creating friendships…Out of school and not in the playground any more , I was excited about rekindling old friendships and learning to start sharing my life with people and sharing their lives too! And I was right. Now without the childish insecurities and without the petty school rivalry, I started afresh with relationships and friendships and I’m having fun!

From laughing through the night where we were supposed to be at the ‘most happening night spot’ and realising that we were 1 of only 10 people at the bar; to being sent chilli chicken by a friend just because she knew I needed spice ‘now’, to getting a call on a Saturday morning from another cause ‘she missed me,’ reconnecting has never been more fun!

Who knows… though they say the friends you make when you’re young will stick by you.. I’m okay learning how to make friends later too… After all every person needs a village… and Mr. Crab and me seem to be finding some really cool Village People!

P.s. (Palat says)-: You’re never too old to learn something new and for me it is learning to put myself out there and trust. It’ll be a steep learning curve… but I always was a front-bencher ! 🙂

Liar, liar..

So the husband (I remain undecided on the use of his name on the blog, basis of my mood and what the blog is about); decided to discuss lying…

I am completely opposed to a lie. I’d rather not say something if I have nothing nice to say… but I try never to tell a lie.

This my husband seemed to feel is a rather idealistic and difficult to achieve goal. I guess when a woman asks ‘ Do I look good in this?’ or ‘Does this make me look fat/ bad?’- I guess many men will take the white lie way out… It keeps the peace and I’m sure saves countless sleepless nights on the couch for many men.

But then where does the ‘white’ lie end? My husband seemed to think that if a lie didn’t hurt someone or even made them feel better, is that so wrong? I was divided. Of course I want people to feel good about themselves , but to feel good basis a lie? Wouldn’t you feel worse when you found out the truth?

So then I started looking around…

In a world of filtered photographs and edited stories… wasn’t I being a little sanctimonious… I mean weren’t they all just ‘white’ lies… Wasn’t the truth touched up, just a little bit to make it seem better?

And if that seemed okay.. well who was I to judge- especially if I used my own filters!

But even after much debate and argument (mostly internal) and realising that between the two of us, he is infinitely more liked and I , more blunt; I figured I’m going to keep doing things my way. Tell the truth or shut up. And, if I have nothing nice to say, zip it! This may not make me more popular… but filters should stay on photographs not in real life!

On a separate note-: he promises to tell me what he truthfully thinks of my outfits et all… so that’s a question I’d better not ask!

P.s. (Palat says)-: His popularity and my anonymity and his kindness and my bluntness… when they say opposites attract; someone up there used us as the Case studies! See you MONDAY!

When It Pains…

So not much is told to anyone suffering from Multiple Sclerosis… you seem to be part of a secret society where the rules are different for each one of us. But unlike a secret society, we don’t meet at exotic, interesting locations… we usually end up in a hospital- easily one of the most boring, depressing places on earth!

So yesterday was an MS night which means more than anything, I’m in tons of pain, I’m cranky as heck and the majority of my conversations have me doubling up in pain…

Hospital was not an option for me yesterday; so we worked on changing my mood…And I think that just really is the ultimate lesson.

A day is what you want it to be. A day is what you focus on. A day will be filled with multiple distractions- for me it was pain… but you can choose what you want your day to be about… For me it was about laughing with my family, re- decorating a room, getting pampered by my husband and puppy and watching a fun episode of ‘Bull.’

I had fun evening, a relaxed night and thanks to all the love- I woke up stronger to take on today…

Pain – Be Damned. With my team, you’ve got nothin on me!

P.s. (Palat says)-: Find your team, and hold them close… they’re better than the best medication! Also 4 months to the birthday! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!

Find your Fun

The husband complained more than a few times of my accurate description of his grunts and TV watching style. This amused me thoroughly and when I asked whether I should photograph him as proof or use his name in the blog- he grunted his approval while staring at his phone screen!

Conclusion-: He (Aditya) can stare at a phone screen at all times… it’s not just limited to when he watches TV

The rest of the day needed spicing up… and so I engaged in my favourite pastime – deciding where I should travel next to- my personal window shopping exercise… I have realised whether or not I go to all these places; I will be prepared. So if tomorrow, the opportunity arose to go anywhere from New Zealand to Russia to the South of France or even Hawaii, I’d have ready hotels, itineraries and even my choice of airlines all sorted!

This was easily the best way to spend lunch…especially with the new diet offering a new speciality of depressing food ! Before I knew it food was gone and Trip no. 34,563 was planned!

Each day can be so terribly long or unexciting, I have realised that every day it’s important to do something new- something that makes your day a lot of fun, even if it’s just for a few minutes or so- just so that yesterday is not the same as today which won’t be the same as tomorrow. A small ‘brain/heart indulgence’ always makes the day a little bit special. And we could all use a bit of special in our lives!

I used to use this on a Blog I wrote for Times of India and so I’m gonna start over now!

P.s. (Palat says) Find something that makes every day fun- that way every day is worth remembering!

find your fun hand written lettering inscription to poster, banner, printable wall art or overly photography, calligraphy vector illustration