I’m ok.You’re ok.

In a world of comparisons and insecurities , it’s often mind numbing to compare achievements- personal and professional with one another… Just looking out of the window, the grass always seems greener… but once you get to that garden you often realise, the grass is not as green, covered with manure and far less exciting than you envisioned!

And yet it’s human nature to compare… to want more…to covet more and to therefore feel ‘less than.’

In the joy to get more things, climb more ladders, are we actually losing out on what we most seek- joy and happiness?

I’ve now started to look at people and things more plainly. You have stuff. I have stuff. I have problems. You have problems. May be without comparison we can both dream, create, be better and be happier… I don’t need your stuff to be happy…and you don’t need mine.

I say this as I enviously look at vacation pics… :)… then again my vacations are pretty darn good too no?

We’re all on the ride of our lives. And it’s absolutely fair to wonder ‘what if..’. But I’ve realised its far nicer to make the most of your life, your day, your people and your things and the minute you treasure them, you’ll start being amazed at how much you actually have.

The couple you envy may actually be in counselling. The vacation you wish you were on , may be the first someone has taken in years. The mom who has it all may be crying at night. And the perfect dad may be drinking him self to sleep at night.

You don’t know their journeys and they don’t know yours.

Life is hard. For everyone. But it’s up to you to just focus on yours and make it the best life that you can live.

P.s. (Palat says)-: It’s never about how much you have, it’s about what you do with what you have. Quality always beats quantity.

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F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I was never good at making friends. As gregarious and out going that I seem, most of it is a facade and those who know me know I am actually quite conscious of how I am viewed, worried about being judged by you and fiercely private about my thoughts and fears. Trust doesn’t come easily to me.

I started working at 16 and then became even more wary of ‘friends.’ They became transactional relationships. FRIENDS was a great concept on TV but for me that was it- fictional and a comedy- something that could not truly exist..

And then I changed.

Over the last few years I have started seeing people as different versions of me- each flawed, insecure, with their own set of fears, but just trying like I am to make the best of each day. And as I started seeing people for more than their Facebook profile/ status – I learnt that people could become more than humans who wandered in an out of your life- they could in fact become friends.

Now I’d love to give myself full credit for this realisation but in the spirit of honesty I must credit the husband , ever so little, for looking at my many flaws and loving them. When he peeled the many onion layers I had protecting me, and showed me that flaws aren’t all bad… I realised I could do the same for others.

Of course every so often you get a rotten , smelly onion- but I guess that’s the risk you take when you try to connect.

And in a world where we have more Facebook and Insta connections than real friends, I think you owe it to yourself to look for actual connections. Hate someone, love someone- but have some emotion for them!

P.s.. (Palat says)-: Connect. Offline.

Demystifying the Drama

And the first month ended… it took its own sweet time, but it ended. It had all the makings of a semi successful potboiler, with lows and highs, new meetings and friendships all perfectly tied up with even a song and dance thrown in for good measure!

The diet held, the exercise continued strong and inspite of a few bouts of ill health; all seemed bearable.

My insight this month was all about human behaviour. I started spending more time with people, learning to laugh more and observe more and that helped my writing and characterisations so much! I wrote more than I ever have in a long time.

I also demystified people and Clients. May be I’m just getting old but I realised much of what happens even in meetings has nothing to do directly with you. We come to work with our own baggage- a sick relative, bad night of no sleep or a fight with the taxi driver or spouse and well sometimes meetings and people (including you) are just collateral damage! I’ve probably done this numerous times myself at work where a bad morning has defined the magnitude of my annoyance at work with a co-worker and now I’ve decided to call it out. So as much as possible, I warn people in the morning if I’ve had a trying day or if my mood is off so that they learn that I may need space and that much of what I say may not be as harsh as it seems.

I , also learnt to trust people a bit more. No I’m not at that stage where I am giving you my life story and deepest fears just yet ; but maybe and this is still a maybe; not every one is out to get me and may be I might make a friend or two!

Onwards to Valentines month my favourite date , except for my birthday where all my mush seems acceptable and all my excessive love of love seems to be ok… see you next Friday… Have a great weekend

P.s. (Palat says)-: In my pursuit of my studying of human behaviour, I have a party this weekend… I’ll let you know more about my poor unsuspecting guinea pigs next week