The Goodbyes…

And I have realised that every good bye is tough…

When I did plays – as much as I loved opening night and all the grandeur and excitement; it was always bitter-sweet. There’d be no more rehearsals, no more swapping stories and gossip, no more long coffee breaks and bloopers. The family that we created would graduate and move on to their own lives. Of course we’d meet for shows , much like families meet for the holidays and we’d have the quick catchups and the familiar laughs but there would now be a distance and it would never quite be the same.

But then before you know it there’d be a new show and a new family and the closeness and bonds would be forged again.

When I started expanding Balancing Act, it became the same. Each person was hand picked and chosen and I made them family over time and every time one left there was a part of me that missed the relationship we shared and another part excited about the new person/ people I would meet.

I now know that life is a journey. You will meet many people on the way. People come in to your life for many reasons. Some to help you , even when you didn’t know you needed help; some to teach you lessons – even the harshest or hardest of lessons and once you receive the help or learn from the lessons they will leave you and move on as their purpose has been served.

However there will be a few who will stay on and on and on, because both you and them will keep learning, growing and helping each other. And these are the people that you will find over time, that you will learn to value and who will always have your back. These are the people who are on your journey with you- so you will never be alone.

These are the people you won’t say goodbye to.

Look for these people. Treasure these people. Love these people.

P.s. (Palat says)-: Every good bye has a hello just waiting to happen!

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The Farce that was #MeToo

And so the farce of #MeToo ended in a whimper. And we can be feminists about this and say , ‘well at least stories were told.’.. but to be realists- what good did that do any way?!

Stories were told, sordid details shared and every newspaper (even the serious ones) became gossip rags proudly sharing salacious details. We had news reports dissecting the who said what’s and when stuff happened and companies , film houses and advertising agencies proudly denouncing men who were caught up for their lecherous moves and unforgivable behaviour towards women.

We enjoyed the headlines we made by denouncing the creeps and we enjoyed the ‘stand that we took’ and the praise it seemed to garner us. We became proud supporting our women and we assured them that this would never ever be tolerated again.

And then overnight, we forgot it. It became inconvenient when the headlines changed and politics and other world issues took centre stage, It became a non-issue when we weren’t being applauded for just being a non lecherous creepy human being. It just became unimportant again.

And the creeps went back to work. Some were never even fired or let go of. It seems like it was difficult to expect a higher standard of human decency from people. Cases were dropped because creeps filed counter cases with more goons threatening the victim and she faced even more harassment. It was bad enough to be tabloid news fodder but to be openly shamed on social media and to have your case being discussed, distorted and destroyed by people who didn’t even know you was something the victims dealt with because for the first time they felt they had a voice and that even with all the noise, the people, the right people cared and were listening.

But then it hit home truly, when support was withdrawn; when law enforcers chose to humiliate rather than help and when quite literally their personal story became yesterday’s garbage.

I guess asking for change might have been too much. But may be we could have done more than just completely turn away from them. I guess it doesn’t mean anything unless it happens to you.

But when it does will anyone support you?

Trust me- after this – I wouldn’t ask you to hold your breath.

I knew that we were becoming shallow. I knew that women and women’s rights in India were never a priority but right now I have to say ,I am well and truly disappointed.

I guess #MeToo, your #TimesUp 😦

P.s.(Palat says)-: We need to be better. Not just because we owe it to humanity but because we owe it to ourselves.

I’m not a survivor.

Yes- I have Multiple Sclerosis. Yes- I have a Pituitary Tumour. Yes- I have a tremendous amount of pain every single day… but I’m not a survivor… I’m a WINNER :)!

I learnt a while ago that there are 2 ways to approach anything this serious – 1. Let it control you. 2. Don’t !

I choose to not let fear nor pain nor the fear of pain rule my life. I am incredible and I am all that I am because of the M.S.

How ? You ask?

Well sure.. when we were first told about the disease I was shattered… I didn’t understand it… no one did and it left me fearful. I was left side paralysed and I couldn’t speak… For an actor and especially a person as talkative as me… the not speaking thing was harder than the paralysis…! I could think it …it was just too hard to say so many words…!

And then I tried. I failed. I tried some more. I failed some more. And then I started from scratch. I got to re-learn as an adult how to be Divya and what fun that was!! My Dad and sister would read me the gossip columns of my favourite newspapers…My Mom would watch Oprah with me and Aditya would watch all my favourite rom-coms and comedies with me… and I got to spend all that amazing time with my family who made me realise how cool I was because they were so cool! My Doctor played catch with me and though I pretty much always failed in that…we got some good laughs every evening and I looked forward to the new day with childlike enthusiasm…enthusiasm that I had lost a while before that when work became WORK and family became FAMILY- the 2 things you were committed to but didn’t love the way you should!

And work? Well I decided to focus on MY COMPANY- BALANCING ACT PRODUCTIONS… and when I got up…I put heart and soul in to theatre and the company and it gave me purpose. i was proud to get up every morning because I was the coolest boss to work for! I had no fixed timings…I did short film direction, taught theatre, produced plays, directed videos, directed television shows, wrote television shows, wrote films, created tv properties for clients, ideated, acted,directed, produced and even sang! If I thought it…I did it!

From waiting hours for a shot, and waiting endlessly for the phone to ring I now had no empty minutes…and the phone rang off the hook!And I had to start saying no to work…so I could try something even more new and incredible !

And the travel… Aditya and I traveled every where and we’d pick a country and devour it! Days of research, months of planning and every trip was more exciting, more unforgettable and with more moments than I’d ever imagined possible…

And then last but definitely not least…I married the man of my dreams…someone I’d have only married 2/3 years post 2006 had the illness not happened and all that would have done would have made me miss out on living with my best friend, my partner in crime and my better half (in every way)!

So I didn’t survive… I live, I thrive and I win… and I wouldn’t change my life with all it’s ups and downs because it’s made me me…. and I’m pretty darn awesome!

 

The DREADED MONDAY MORNING (after a break!)

It’s that Monday post the incredible vacation! Schools are open, work is on schedule and traffic is a b!@%h! You wish you were back in bed/on the beach/shopping! You wish you were anywhere but back because back seems even more awful now especially after than incredible break!

That’s the thing with breaks….once you taste freedom and the enormous possibilities that the world holds in store NOTHING is ever the same again!

And so how do you deal with THAT MONDAY MORNING!

  1. Ease in to it… now that the breakfast buffets aren’t happening and the single egg and dry toast don’t look as appetizing as the holiday ‘uber-indulgent breakfast’ did, ease in to the day slowly.
  2. Get a good night of sleep ending with a great book, favourite tv show, or warm tea! Make sure you are SMILING on Sunday night…it’ll make monday a heck of a lot easier!
  3. Lie in bed just a bit longer on Monday, it’ll help with the ‘work-lag!’
  4. Dress up! You look good, you feel good!
  5. Load your favourite songs on your iPod! That way despite the awful, crawling traffic and the annoying RJ who talks too much; you have some great music that can make the morning infinitely more in tune!
  6. Take the 11 am break! Grab a cuppa, a quick chocolate, a walk outside, a facebook sneak peak! Take the BREAK!
  7. Remember you don’t have to finish everything TODAY! If the one thing the vacation taught you , it was how important it is to make time for yourself and your family….so before all the amazing life lessons we learn while on break run dry- REMEMBER IT and CELEBRATE IT!
  8. Call the people you have to, have to call today! The rest…well, you have a whole week left!
  9. Take an hour for lunch- the full hour! Even if you have no lunch and far too much work- Monday’s are overwhelming as it is and the Monday after a break is super tough! Acknowledge that and breathe! It’ll make you more productive!
  10. Get a 3 p.m. break and catch up on birthdays and gossip, coffee and conversations! You’ve almost made it thru the toughest day post vacation!
  11. Get off work on time! You won’t finish everything today. You don’t have to. You have a whole week left and you got thru a whole day! YAY!
  12. Get home. Have a warm dinner, catch up with friends, relax and pamper yourself! EASE INTO WORK AND THE WEEK ELSE you’ll just feel angry , frustrated and cheated! an expensive break and the joy you felt with it would have been washed away by a couple of hours back at the office and you definitely don’t want that!
Don’t be guilted by people for taking your break. You work hard. You deserve it! Enjoy the new tan and the glowing skin and remember the trick to the happiness we feel on vacation is that on vacation we make ourselves a priority! Make yourself a priority EVEN ON THAT MONDAY MORNING!!!!;)