Expecting NOT to Expect

Expectation is the root of all heartache

William Shakespeare.

Those of us who believe we don’t expect anything from anyone are lying to ourselves. We expect love and support from our friends and family. We expect growth and satisfaction from our jobs. We expect belief, trust, security and help. We expect dreams to come true and love stories to just happen. We expect.

And then we’re shocked when we’re stabbed in the back by ‘friends’ , hurt by loved ones, not trusted by work-mates and saddened that our dreams have to continuously evolve and even then may never come true. Easier said than done- stop expecting.

And if you think the external expectations that we have are hard, well take a good hard look inside. Often it is OUR EXPECTATIONS of OURSELVES that let us down even more than the expectations we have of others.

We expect to reach the top and whereas our fathers and grandfathers enjoyed a steady and positive growth in a company that they chose to work with for 15, 20 or even 30 years we need  to be at the top yesterday and if that doesn’t happen we shift job,we shift career and we work harder to be at the top at the cost of our health , our families and our happiness!

We expect the perfect spouse and hold them and ourselves to such ridiculous expectations and criteria that we both fail and end up in a bitter marriage or any even more painful divorce.

The solution? Well to stop expecting is not really an option but may be we can cut ourselves and others around us some slack. These are some truths-:

  1. Dating is hard. Marriage is harder. They both require work. When the make up is off and at the end of a bad day- all you have left is the both of you without any pretence and charade and that’s the truth. You are not going to wake up every morning perfect and he’s not going to come home every evening happy. Expect this.
  2. Don’t give your trust to everyone. Everyone may not be worth it. Even with friends, hold a little back/ Don’t expect them to hold all your confidences or bear all your burdens. That’s unrealistic. Open up slowly. Trust less. Make stronger bonds with a few.
  3. Work hard and ensure that your bosses and you know your worth. DON’T EXPECT a raise or a promotion. Ensure they know your worth and ensure YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH. This will give greater job satisfaction and also benefit your company. An unhappy employee makes for an unhappy company. If you feel you deserve more, before jumping ship and leaving the company- tell them. Give them a chance to live up to your expectations. They will only know of your expectations if you tell them!
  4. Be realistic of what you can do in a day , in a week, in a month. And make others aware so that neither you nor they over-expect from you. Aim for the stars but be prepared for the sick days, the setbacks, the days where everything goes wrong and take every moment one step at a time.
  5. Do not expect others to work to your time just because you do. Stop expecting others to live up  to your standards WITHOUT lowering your standards.
  7. Be realistic in your expectations! You wanted to be able to live through some of them not die of a heart attack trying to achieve any of them.
  8. Give WITHOUT expectation. That way you’ll always be surprised.
  9. Love WITHOUT expectation. That way you’ll find love.
  10. Work on your dream WITHOUT expectation. That way your dream may come true :)!




celebrity endorsements….

so the australia ad is out and aditya and i are happily proclaiming our love for australia…an un-scripted ad…it was terrifying to shoot…not only because i was terribly unwell that day but because as a theatre person i have always believed in the power of ‘THE SCRIPT!’…. it went off fine and well the results are for all to see!

this brings me to the point- aditya and i have been asked to endorse several products… for some brands we appear young, truthful and fun…and they seem to want to appeal to others like us which is great but we decided to make a conscious decision to support/ endorse brands and products that we totally and completely believe in…aditya has had several solo endorsements from peter england to lays chips– but we always decided we would endorse things we actually use or in this case a country we actually enjoy!

in a world where celebrity endorsements is big money i believe that when a celebrity endorses 8 or 9 products– as a consumer it gets confusing especially if they are in similar categories. for a celebrity to make a difference to a product, i believe that they should endorse fewer / more targeted products so that their being on screen makes you look up and remember the product that they are endorsing.

also i think celebrities should be accountable for the product that they are endorsing. they should believe in it. i still remember the amitabh bachchan ad for cadburys….after cadburys had had an issue with loose packaging and insects eating at the chocolate in supposedly wrapped bars. Not only did cadbury change how their chocolates were presented, they also had a very strong ad by mr. bachchan where you saw him walk through cadbury factories, discuss the issue and then give us the peace of mind by saying that he found all their systems clean and he believed in them. he addressed the consumer, made you remember the ad and added a stamp of worth to the product.

in today’s day and age -you never remember who’s endorsing what and with the amount of endorsements they are each doing you can’t remember what the car/phone/ soap is?!!!

it’s time for a rebranding exercise for both the brand and celebrities…let’s choose smarter, wiser and let’s not try and convince the consumer to use/ try something we’d never even touch unless we were paid crores to!