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Warning: Angry Post!

Beware this is an angry post… cos I am …well… angry!

She didn’t even know me. She walked up to me as I was crossing the street, and in pain because of my back and chose to talk to me. “Are you Divya Palat,” she curiously questioned. To my affirmative, she immediately said “Oh you have put on…” emphasising her point by showing me how much larger she assumed my frame had become.

“Yes, I also have a brain tumour,” I added not skipping a beat. The quickness I replied, masked the hurt I felt by this thoughtless comment. “Oh,” her face changed and she now seemed to want me to accept an apology and allow her to feel forgiven for her insensitive comment. She didn’t try hard enough and I didn’t wait and honestly even if she tried, neither would I have forgiven her nor would I have cared to even understand her audacity to have made such a comment.

My mother always told me if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And maybe her insecurity shone through her stupid statement. But it still stung.

But when did it become okay to comment on how people look? When did it become okay to hurt people, for no reason at all but just because you could? In the last 20 years, with Multiple sclerosis and a brain tumour, I have put on weight and then lost some and then put it on again and then lost some again but that is my journey. I’m sure our self- entitled beauty critic has changed a fair amount in 20 years too, even without illness. And even if that has happened it would be crass of me to take pot shots of her and her journey because neither has she asked my opinion nor am I entitled to make personal judgements about her.

When did being mean become the new normal?

We can all wander about saying we shouldn’t care about what people say or what people think but why should that give people carte blanche to say whatever they want, whenever they want and to whom ever they want?

I have multiple sclerosis , have a brain tumour and have been in and out of treatment this year and on and off of intravenous steroids to manage the illness. I have slipped a disc in my back , haven’t slept a good night’s sleep for 2 weeks and am in unbelievable pain every single day. I still make sure I give my best to the day and give each person I meet respect, empathy and thoughtfulness… You don’t have to care about me or my journey… but may be you could not volunteer your unnecessary point of view and just quite simply SHUT UP!

Or is basic decency too much to ask for now?

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16 thoughts on “Warning: Angry Post!

  1. Agreed completely. I’ve always found rudeness, and the right to insufferable rude personal comments hugely abominable. And I think you’re an absolute rockstar… Our forever favorite… Much much love…

  2. Divya ,just ignore such people and move on.These are the kind of people who wl constantly pull you down.Toxic people.Congrats for yr battle and tough times donot last tough people do.Cheers

    1. Thank you Suketu
      It was just the absolute meanness that stunned me
      And then I asked around and it seems like many go through this with random strangers … and that is just not ok

      1. yes its criminal of them and they have to be dealt with like criminals.In India the higher you go,the more you wl encounter such people.But once you know how to thrash them off without much fuss they wl go away permanently.Happy Diwali.

  3. Perhaps this is one of the downfall of being associated to the glam world.
    It was indeed very rude especially to gave the guts to come and speak like that to the other person. Manners have become indeed rarity.

    1. I agree but I have been noticing this more and more with people all over

      It seems easy for others to walk up and criticize but taking the time to compliment quite literally never happens !

      1. Sadly that’s very true.
        This is why, I personally take time to ensure people get complimented and appreciated, commoners mostly (so far, I had only taken the courage in my life to compliment you as my first celebrity for your commendable work in Captain Vyom! ), to the extent that their managers know about their good work (hospitality industry which is so tough to work in) for example, reception desk staff and housekeeping of the hotels I’m staying at due to business trips where ever.

        Hardwork is mostly taken for granted and often goes unnoticed.

        It’s so easy to say nice things and really appreciate someone for their ‘real worth’. And so much worth for lighting up someones day, lest if only people would realize how easy indeed it was!

        I hope a few atleast will have a better perspective to this after reading your blog post.

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