I’m not a survivor.

Yes- I have Multiple Sclerosis. Yes- I have a Pituitary Tumour. Yes- I have a tremendous amount of pain every single day… but I’m not a survivor… I’m a WINNER :)!

I learnt a while ago that there are 2 ways to approach anything this serious – 1. Let it control you. 2. Don’t !

I choose to not let fear nor pain nor the fear of pain rule my life. I am incredible and I am all that I am because of the M.S.

How ? You ask?

Well sure.. when we were first told about the disease I was shattered… I didn’t understand it… no one did and it left me fearful. I was left side paralysed and I couldn’t speak… For an actor and especially a person as talkative as me… the not speaking thing was harder than the paralysis…! I could think it …it was just too hard to say so many words…!

And then I tried. I failed. I tried some more. I failed some more. And then I started from scratch. I got to re-learn as an adult how to be Divya and what fun that was!! My Dad and sister would read me the gossip columns of my favourite newspapers…My Mom would watch Oprah with me and Aditya would watch all my favourite rom-coms and comedies with me… and I got to spend all that amazing time with my family who made me realise how cool I was because they were so cool! My Doctor played catch with me and though I pretty much always failed in that…we got some good laughs every evening and I looked forward to the new day with childlike enthusiasm…enthusiasm that I had lost a while before that when work became WORK and family became FAMILY- the 2 things you were committed to but didn’t love the way you should!

And work? Well I decided to focus on MY COMPANY- BALANCING ACT PRODUCTIONS… and when I got up…I put heart and soul in to theatre and the company and it gave me purpose. i was proud to get up every morning because I was the coolest boss to work for! I had no fixed timings…I did short film direction, taught theatre, produced plays, directed videos, directed television shows, wrote television shows, wrote films, created tv properties for clients, ideated, acted,directed, produced and even sang! If I thought it…I did it!

From waiting hours for a shot, and waiting endlessly for the phone to ring I now had no empty minutes…and the phone rang off the hook!And I had to start saying no to work…so I could try something even more new and incredible !

And the travel… Aditya and I traveled every where and we’d pick a country and devour it! Days of research, months of planning and every trip was more exciting, more unforgettable and with more moments than I’d ever imagined possible…

And then last but definitely not least…I married the man of my dreams…someone I’d have only married 2/3 years post 2006 had the illness not happened and all that would have done would have made me miss out on living with my best friend, my partner in crime and my better half (in every way)!

So I didn’t survive… I live, I thrive and I win… and I wouldn’t change my life with all it’s ups and downs because it’s made me me…. and I’m pretty darn awesome!

 

16 thoughts on “I’m not a survivor.

  1. You really are awesome! And incredibly inspirational. Way to go Divya. I found you in today’s mid-day and then looked you up on Facebook and here I am. I love the fact that you said you have tremendous amount of pain each day which turns out to be a motivating factor for you. I thought I was the one in pain. I am certain pain from arthritis is nowhere compared to the tremendous amount of pain you experience! You’ve lifted me girl. Thank you.

    May God bless you, help you cave your way more easily, Ameen!
    #staycool#
    Farzeen.

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    1. Dear Farzeen,

      Thank you…I needed the lift you gave me from your wonderful message…so THANK YOU!

      I have never let pain rule my life and I hope never to let it …you stay strong too!

      Lots of love,

      Divya

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  2. Hi Divya,

    This is Gracy Nair here from Andheri (e), i was actually reading the Mumbai mirror today (26/11/2013) i saw this page which mentioned that u had or have (MS), so i have a friend who’s mom suffers from the same (MS) so just wanted to know is the (MS) cured or under your control then can you let me know with which doctor is your treatment going on & what is the expense approx.

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    1. Dear Gracy,

      MS is incurable. So I’m managing my symptoms… but it can’t be cured.
      However my doc is pretty awesome… Dr Katrak… do speak to him for any second opinion, should you need it.To reach him, call JASLOK HOSPITAL

      Hope this helps,

      divya

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  3. Hey Divya,

    Read your INCREDIBLE story in Mumbai Mirror yesterday. Believe me it made my day. 🙂

    Been there and doing that at my end as well. Agree to your point hands down of being a Winner. I call myself INVINCIBLE.

    GOD Bless dear and keep ROCKING like always. 😉

    P.S. : i was always a FAN of you since your T.V & Cinema days, as was able to find a lot in COMMON.:-)

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  4. Hi Divya… don’t know if u remember me. Not necessarily, as we have met only once and that was way back in late 1990s..at Calicut, Kerala.

    But I still cherish those moments, as the brief piece I had written on u in Indian Express, remains one of my best works till date… At least I think so. It was a composer who introduced me to u..
    I really admire the way u have taken ur life in its stride…And the way you smile at odds..

    Remember what Paul Anka wrote:

    It’s my life
    And it’s now or never
    ‘Cause I ain’t gonna live forever
    I just want to live while I’m alive

    My heart is like an open highway
    Like Frankie said
    I did it my way
    I just want to live while I’m alive
    ‘Cause it’s my life!

    Love,
    Ravi Menon

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    1. I remember our meeting clearly!

      And thank you…!

      I’m doing life my way and on my terms and support always propels me forward… so THANK YOU.

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  5. Hi Div’s,

    I have this habit of giving pet names to people i like and find LOADS in common dearie. I frankly speaking wanted to connect with you personally. I dont mind if it is on the electronic manner too. Need to talk to people going through issues like me. Can we connect by any chance??? 🙂

    Also do not publish this post but if you would like to, then we can get in touch through e-mail too. My email id is sukanya_15@rediffmail.com

    Hope to hear in positive from you div’s. 😉

    Regards,
    Suku.

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  6. Hi Divya
    I agree to the point that you are really awesome.

    I was a patient of MG and same awesome doc. am

    completely cured .Think that we are blessed

    Love

    Rekha

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  7. you are really awesome! and I agree to your words that your doc is awesome as for me I have the same doc but in diff.relation

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  8. Hats Off ! You’re Are A WINNER ! Less than a year and you dreamt & accomplished Youtheatre ! You proved M.S. wrong , Aditya & everyone who loves you right !

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