alone: being without anyone else, solitary
It’s hard to feel alone in a world where we’re so connected. Gone are the days where you waited for a letter from someone you loved, or worried when someone you cared about came home late. A quick email with more emoticons than words can connect people across the globe in milliseconds and a mobile phone call ensures we always know where the people we care about are.
And yet we’re alone.
The 4 page letter on perfumed stationary has become a 2 line email and those long weekend phone conversations with family across the world has now become more of a chore than a delight , with phone conversations often lasting no more than a minute- after all they’re ‘just a phone call away.’
And so despite the connections,we never actually connect. It’s like each of us have these long powerful networks of wires but to actually connect with someone else’s wires might cause an electricity spark and shut us down. We’re so scared about connecting, so scared to feel and if in case we are one of those ‘sensitive ones’ who actually have feelings, then we’re petrified about sharing them.
And why is that? Because in this new, technologically advanced world of ours, appearance is everything and each of us live every day realising the power of marketing that appearance. Boys are taught not to cry. Girls mustn’t cry either, especially if they want to make it in the Corporate world. And so each of us market the best possible side of ourselves to all that we meet and never ever actually connect and never ever ever share!
They used to say that a race horse with a broken leg had to be shot and in truth most of us are like wounded race horses still running , smiling, walking and even jumping despite some incredible pain.
To hold the pain inside is not brave. To share it is.
The last weeks suicides shocked several and made me sad. But this is something that’s been happening for years, just the prevalence is now at an all time high. As per police stats in Mumbai the number of lives lost every day to suicide is THREE! Those are 3 people who were scared to be judged by you, 3 people scared of not being ‘perfect’ and 3 people who just couldn’t smile anymore.
So maybe the next time you see a smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes, ask what’s wrong and maybe the next time you feel like crying , you reach out to someone (friend, family, counselor) and just have a good, good cry.
I know it’s difficult but often what’s on the surface is very different to what’s inside and though we may quote ‘never judge a book by it’s cover,’ we never actually practice it! So before you tear someone down based on appearance or just based on ‘how they seem,’ take a moment. Just like I’m sure deep inside you’d like to be loved and respected for who you actually are and how you really feel- maybe they deserve the same as well!
Take the time today and try and actually connecting. Start getting to know someone and let someone new start getting to know you.
You may not be so alone then.