Pain spirals and magic

And with the tensions of the week building, the Multiple sclerosis enjoyed its play ground of havoc! I had dizzy spells, pain everywhere and the added stress kept pushing me in to a deeper, deeper spiral of pain!

And suddenly I just stopped. I asked for a moment for my self and Aditya said he’d take over gladly and helped me delegate some of my responsibilities. And lo and behold, the world did not shatter. My life did not self destruct. I took a moment to breathe and was able to enjoy the week so much more.

Sure, the pain didn’t disappear and there were moments where I just wanted to curl up and howl- but in between , during the shoot there were also moments where I enjoyed myself and truly lived in the moment. I marvelled at the magic. I basked in the magnificence of what had been created. And I truly felt grateful.

That’s the thing, life is meant to challenge you and even sometimes overwhelm you but sometimes skipping a beat is not so awful. Putting yourself first even for a moment can actually help you. So even though you may be in charge of your whole world…maybe for a second if you let it run without you… it might actually even surprise you.

P.s.-: Still the control freak… though I’m trying to stop… truly!Multiple sclerosis shows me every day how I’m not really in control… and maybe that will help teach me better!

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