It’s an MS day and though that may mean nothing for some and confuse the rest… I’m going to try and explain it the best I can.
I have multiple sclerosis.
On most days you wouldn’t know that because between my fiery, quick speech and the fact that I literally never stop doing something, you’d be actually more than grateful if I breathed a second or spoke a bit slower…! Trust me , even Alexa prefers that I speak slower! 🙂
But then there are the MS days… they creep up ever so stealthily and then it’s boom! It’s pain. It’s exhaustion. It’s pulls where I didn’t think pulls could happen… and pains where I didn’t imagine muscles or nerves or anything.
Those who know me worry, those who love me hurt… but it gets better and what I really need is everyone’s combined belief and prayers that this will end! Know that I may be cranky, pushy and a bit more difficult than usual… and for those of you who are wondering how that’s a change from who I am… It’s just that on these days I find it hard to be the powerhouse I like to imagine I am so I have to push just a bit harder to make what I find to be normal to me, to just happen.
So today is an MS day… I’m stumbling a bit… walking around a bit funny, holding my back in pain and then sometimes my left arm and then sometimes my fingers; I’m finding the day longer than usual but I’m happy to be at work. I’m finding the words longer, the typing slower, the focus requiring more energy of me, the food harder to eat, even though I carefully chose my favourite foods and the little annoyances, annoying me more than usual!
Some MS Days are a lot worse. The pain is terrible. I sometimes slur. And I often walk funny… so though today is an MS day… it’s one of the easier ones and that’s awesome!
You have to find the highs even in your lows or else you won’t learn to look for them.
I’ll head home post work, have a cold shower and jump into bed with a mindless comedy or a crime drama that’ll allow me to quickly crash and wake up tomorrow to a better day I’m sure… cos today is an MS Day.
P.s.-: Had the most incredible shoot last week and every time I feel even a little bit low it gives me joy to know that I had such a great, great week! Pain is often overcome by happy thoughts and puppy cuddles!