Today is yet a new drug trial… on me! It’s been pricks, pokes and meds non stop for us to find out which works best for me! And though I do believe that I’ve been taking them all like a trooper and making as much fun of myself as I possibly can; I’ve realised I may not be as ‘cool’ about it as I thought!
On my seriously early morning walks,(we wake up at 5:30 to walk Magic); I have been irritable about the smallest of things… A cat I feed ran a bit too fast, I was cross. The robot was not cleaned the way I wanted before I left, I lost my temper. The hill is too steep, the cars too many, the fighting dogs a bit too loud- everything bugs me… And that’s when I realised that these were manifestations of my fear.
I was afraid of the injection, the new med, the side effects… and this was how I was coping. Finding the smallest , most inconsequential things to scream about…and taking out my frustrations on them!
Add to that there was ‘Bablu’- the contractor from hell who has chosen me to be his mission. Bablu arrived cheerfully on Saturday after week long discussions with the husband and then proceeded to throw all our well laid plans in to a fine mush of rubble and do exactly what he wanted. So Saturday was filled with drill noises and breaking for him; and a severe migraine that went on to Sunday for me!
Th injection just finished and was like the rest of my medicinal encounters – a family engagement, with everyone coming together and volunteering tidbits, worried murmurs and even an ‘injection video’- yes that is a thing! The event was quick but I’m told the side effects, which now seem to be coming on, are long and painful and annoying! There will be fever, chills, aches and pains and bruising…But to add to it all , there will also be Bablu!
So yup fine start to Valentines week!