Last night at a friends home, we got to discussing the ‘other’ woman! Another friend (an interior designer) was doing up a client’s house (his home with his wife) and his mistress’ home (his home with her!)! my friend said that it was always so shocking to her to have to keep so many secrets especially since he was often in one home and then later in the next! Surely the wife knew. She even suspected that the wife may have even confronted him. Why then did she keep quiet about it?
Arbitrage , the movie I watched over the weekend also covered the infidelity in a relationship in a seemingly happy marriage!
It’s a tricky thing when you marry looking at the relationship as a business transaction. It’s a tricky thing when your husband is the ATM and you love your shoes, your designer bags and your luxury vacations. It’s a tricky thing when you look at marriage like a balance sheet and the find it easier to balance emotions with money as opposed to having to actually deal with that emotion!
So when there was no love is it worth giving up the first class flights because your husband is having a bit of fun on the side….I mean there is fun attached to long spa afternoons and limitless shopping sprees and that might make the unfaithful lout ‘worth it’ in your head! And if both parties looked at their ‘marriage’ as an arrangement and each lived their own lives who were we to sit and try and moralize the relationship?
Then there are ‘the gay but married and trapped.’ Some of them are also finding their own voice now and being strong enough to come out of the closet but is their better half equally brave or would she like to keep the home, the closet and the sham of a loving relationship just to keep being Mrs So-and so?
I’ve realised that each relationship is different and though couture benefits with a healthy bank balance, the soul benefits with a healthy amount of love! Love may not pay the bills today but it gives you a bright and cheerful home and a pair of strong and loving arms.
What are you looking for? There is no right and wrong answer…!
But when the ATM you’ve been living with shuts shop and goes after love- don’t pretend that it’s a shock to you and don’t waste time on tears. You knew what you were getting into so get real or demand more!