I lost my best friend.
I have nothing else to say.
She died in my arms- 14 years of age , the perfect golden cocker spaniel.
For those who are not dog lovers let me tell you that this loss was like losing an organ, an appendage, a child…. a soulmate. Cookie was all that and more. She was my reason to get up every morning and my reason to go to bed at night.
As a baby she slept in my arms, her heart beating faster than a a bird’s fluttering wings and when she grew older; she preferred her own , much softer bed to mine and loved curling up just below me looking at me while she drifted to sleep!
When we bought a bed, it was specifically chosen so it wouldn’t be too high for Cookie to jump on and off and the side tables were low enough for her to share our food, nibble on our scraps or even just steal some entire pizza slices away from us.
Cookie went from being my baby and my puchdi (follower) to my owner and my ‘Mama.’ She indulgently let me sing off tune songs to her where I force-fitted the word ‘Cookie’ in every popular tune so it might keep her interest a little longer; she watched my rehearsals and even shouted at late comers so I wouldn’t have to and entertained my guests by sitting on her futon bed in our living room and staring at them almost making conversation. She was on stage for almost every production and played pivotal roles in 2. Over and above that she handled backstage, tv shoots and even stealing actor meals that they carelessly left on the ground. She was my master chef food taster with a love for chinese and thai food!
She was an actress, a food critic, a mama, a best friend, a task master and a cuddly ball of fur all rolled in to one!
Monday to Friday I was her responsibility. On Monday morning at 9:30 am…post stealing my breakfast after eating her own, she’d rush off to the office room where she’d wait patiently till I turned up. I’m a workaholic but Cookie kept my timings in check. At 1 pm she’d leave the office room, to go to any other room, ensuring I’d follow her and be forced to eat my lunch. Every 2-3 hours I’d walk her and get a little bit of a break from emails and calls and stress. She ensured that.
But it was when her ‘Popups’ came home- her papa – Aditya, that was when she’d look at him, almost roll her eyes and fall quickly to sleep- almost saying “I’ve looked after her (me) the whole day- now she’s your responsibility!”
Though I always joked about this- I was her responsibility as we both grew up and she looked after me gloriously. I remember saying “Mama” once and when my Mom responded- Cookie quickly wiggled her way in the front and with questioning eyes asked me what I needed now. She also shot a quick glare to my Mother. In our house , Cookie was “Mama.”
She left me after seeing my first Arts festival , YouTheatre begin.
She left after the lamp lighting and seeing me surrounded by family, students and friends.
She left me knowing that for the next 3 days I’d have no time to grieve.
She left me doing something I love. Even in death she felt responsible for me.
I’m not sure how to start my Monday. I’m not sure where my boss, my best friend and my Mama will be when I go in to the office room.
I’m not sure how to change my routine.
I don’t even want to.
But Mama will keep me on my toes and busy I’m sure.
I just wish you could have joined me for Curtain Call today Cookie Girl… you would have been proud!
I am who I am because of you. I love you- today and always.